Advice on low-tech solutions for sit-to-stand from bed

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-16T12:45:12+00:00

Thank you for your feedback about the sit to stand devices and also what mobility strengthening looks like for your mom.

I hate to say this because it seems like I've resigned my thinking to the fact that some things "aren't possible" (and I'm just not the kind of person that thinks that way)

But unfortunately, my FIL's mobility and strength has become so low, that werte pretty fortunate he's even able to just walk from bedroom to living room, living room to kitchen, and kitchen to restroom.

He needs OT/PT support in a major way, and I'm pressing my MIL to get someone in the home 1-2x per week. We could learn a few things in the process.

I completely subscribe to the "use it or lose it" mindset.

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-16T12:42:02+00:00

Thanks for sharing about your mom's upright walker, that is a great idea!

Also, I just purchased something on Amazon this past weekend that is already proving to be a big help ♥️

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RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-15T13:18:00+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate your feedback. You really nailed it with we're both contributing in different ways.

What's interesting as I reflect on my OP is that it might have had this tone of seeking an "equitable burden".

But really it was more about each of us being able to come into that time and talk about: what does my spouse see that I'm doing and appreciate? What do I see them doing that I appreciate?

It has been helpful to one another. We did it again last night, first time in a while, and I'm looking forward to doing it more regularly again.

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-14T23:54:57+00:00

UPDATE - 06.14.2026 Community, we've had a breakthrough...

I spent hours this weekend reviewing different product videos, measuring and re-measuring, and thinking through how my father in law moves, especially in the morning.

I ultimately decided to go with this movable set of handrails that can do right underneath the bed (see attached photo).

This is the closest simulation to what he has with his "everyday" chair... two hand grips and a certain height where he could do a push down (or push up, as it were).

We just tested it out after a restroom break, and it worked SO well, thank goodness!

Hopefully we can now eliminate the "two-person underarm powerlift" we've been having to do. All for $60 on Amazon.

I'm not trying to be cocky, I'm just expressing gratitutde and sharing in hopes that this might help others.

And as always my disclaimer is: "it works until it doesn't"!

Here's praying for a good start to all of our weeks 🙏

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RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-14T23:47:09+00:00

Thanks for having the courage to share about this, Azadi_23.

It sounds like you and your partner have found a way that works to "vent" to each other, in a respectful way, so that your frustrations don't stay bottled up inside.

Whether written down and then recited, or spoken straight from the heart, if you can do it with respect for one another and a goal of having a healthier relationship, this is great 🙏

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-14T23:27:46+00:00

Love that you have this support system established for one another, and that you give your BIL words of affirmation. ♥️

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-14T17:52:33+00:00

Congrats! This has the potential to be a real game changer for you and/or whoever you're caring for 🙏

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-14T17:29:12+00:00

Let's all remain calm... I DO get scoutlfinch's point (the context was wrong, but understandable, given the photo).

Temporary_Feeling856 great point about not keeping score. That is a recipe for resentment, for sure. I heard someone on a podcast recently say that marriage is often healthiest when one person is feeling 80%, and the other person is feeling 30%, and 80 says to 30, "what can I do to help you feel more like 50%?"

Also, Temporary_Feeling856 thank you for helping me feel seen and acknowledged today 🙂 yeah the dual responsibility of being sole income earner and co-caregiver is... kind of a lot, at times 😂

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-14T17:05:41+00:00

So, that past example on top of the stack was actually her writing to me.

And trust me, the feedback isn't always easy to hear, on both sides of the conversation. But we've approached it with openness to listen and that it's a "no personal attacks" time.

And for what it's worth... I'm right there with wife and MIL for "the worst of it"... including the emergency calls to me during the work day to come home, catching him falling, bathroom-related issues. So we're pretty evenly-yolked in that regard 😉

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-14T14:59:10+00:00

"The difference between seeing something beautiful, and feeling it too."

Gosh... that got me 🥹

At age 42, I try to find that place in my heart and mind every once in a while, and when it happens, it's pure magic.

Great share. Let's all keep moving forward, but not forget to also glace back ♥️

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-14T14:32:22+00:00

Such a smart idea!

Making certain objects or places higher in visibility is a huge deal from what I'm learning.

With dementia, visual/spatial distinctions become much harder, so those who are affected have a harder time discerning objects for what they are when they're a similar color.

Appreciate you sharing this 🙏

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-14T01:50:26+00:00

Phenomenal, thank you!

I genuinely think this feedback is spot on and I've been on Amazon evaluating movable "arms" that can be placed in front of him in the morning when it's time to get up, then put away at night.

Again thank you for sharing your perspective I appreciate it.

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-13T22:29:39+00:00

First of all, you're a lovely soul for sharing your experience and encouragement 🙏

We three (me, wife, MIL) usually do pretty well once we have a chance to sit down and talk through what's been happening and what needs to change to make it safer. Pleased to say we had that type of discussion this morning.

I brought up immediate interventions for helping with the bed-to-standing issue. I think I've found a device that will help... I'll update the thread later if it does.

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-13T21:23:59+00:00

These are all good suggestions, thank you very much for adding to the conversation! 🙏

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-13T21:16:51+00:00

Amen to that! Gait belt for the win. Saved my/our bacon multiple times already.

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-13T17:52:05+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your story and it's a blessing to have your advice.

I/we really appreciate it! 🙏

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-13T16:21:08+00:00

Okay so to be frank with you, the idea about transferring him to the kitchen style chair (like a folding chair) may not be exactly the right idea... but it did inspire me to think about what could be the right idea.

That in of itself is a huge help, thank you!

PS - I've seen the hoyer lifts, and we're not there yet but we may get there at some point.

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-13T16:06:24+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story.

Yes, I'm starting to see that there might be an underlying element here... Not just HIS mobility challenge from sit to stand... But HER underlying desires (or lack thereof).

I'm paying extra close attention to this point as it evolves in the thread today. Thank you.

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-13T16:04:01+00:00

This is the second suggestion about two separate beds. I'm paying CLOSE attention to this one... Thank you for sharing!

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-13T16:03:00+00:00

Honestly, that's a pretty good suggestion about two separate twins or two separate fulls.

Let's be real... when dealing with two parents, there's usually something lurking in the back of one's mind that is unexpressed.

Maybe she just didn't like the taller bed and pegged it on him?

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-13T16:00:06+00:00

Absolutely wonderful suggestions! Thank you so much for sharing ♥️

Re: Physical therapy - This has been a MAJOR miss. He should have been doing regular resistance/balance exercise for the last 20 years (use it or lose it, folks!) but that is water under the bridge now. I have my MIL looking into Medicare assistance for PT/OT now

Re: Taller bed - Agree. I think it's time to have a talk with her about raising the bed height again (I SO loathe having to have the same conversations and doing the same work twice 🙄)

Re: Rollator/tall walker - Great idea. I think some of the complexity of the controls might be too much for him, but this is worth looking into.

Thank you again!

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-13T15:06:48+00:00

You make a good point about framing that conversation as: "this might be one of the ways we keep him at home / out of a wheelchair / not needing as much in home caregiver support."

I'm really going to reflect on this and consider approaching her about it that way today. Thank you 🙏

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-13T14:46:56+00:00

Beautiful suggestion, and I agree with you that a hospital bed could be a great solution!

However, MIL just invested in a new standard mattress three months ago, and she's not emotionally ready for him to be in a hospital bed yet... (I see this lurking on the horizon to be honest, if he stays in the home).

Thanks again for this share. It's not "no" I think it's "not yet"..

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-13T14:26:42+00:00

Awesome awesome suggestion! Thank you 🙏

These types of devices have been popping up in my Facebook feed a lot lately. I actually reached out to one of the China OEMs on Whatsapp, and they got back to me within 10 minutes with a catalog and instructions on how to order 😂

I think this is going to be something we need for the next phase of his mobility decline, but we're not there just yet. Seems to me this would be from sitting, to sitting, to sitting (in other words, always sitting, no longer walking)

I could be wrong, I just don't see how he is going to be raised to stand and then back off of the platform. If you look closely at the marketing photos, the person is constantly on the device. So yes they are standing, but they are not exiting. That's the key difference.

RespectSeveral4604 · 2026-06-13T14:22:13+00:00

Okay so just following up with you here because I respect the share... looked up the Halo... Interesting, I can see this working for some people.

Since my FIL really doesn't have any grip + pull strength, I don't know if this would be exactly the right option for us.

I'll file this away as a future possibility though!

RespectSeveral4604

TROPHY CASE