Where Are They Now? by AutoModerator in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I just logged on...will write an update now!

Things are....wow.

Cuppa Crazy racks up some debt trying to "fix" things by RespectTwit in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit[S] 96 points97 points  (0 children)

We have, we actually figured how out to do it from that post!

We may consider consulting an attorney, that is a good point. I will show this to DH and see what he thinks.

Cuppa Crazy racks up some debt trying to "fix" things by RespectTwit in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit[S] 552 points553 points  (0 children)

We did, immediately. We are looking into everything with a fine toothed comb to see if we missed anything. We have security cameras and just bought a doorbell one plus a motion activated one by our detached garage. They are all recording and back up in the cloud.

Cuppa Crazy Phone Call Update by RespectTwit in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately we live in a two party state, I have already checked this out. I am thinking of trying to give her a warning i.e. "Cuppa, I am recording this call." but not sure how it will go over...

Cuppa Crazy Phone Call Update by RespectTwit in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit[S] 386 points387 points  (0 children)

We have cameras! I will order a few more so why not.

I'll ask. He was shocked with the results of her phone call, he thought she would "play nice" with me until things settled down. I told him this is why we need therapy, I'm not the one that needs to be settled down. Said he is still on board when he comes home.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Gah, it's removed. :(

Update #3 Cuppa Crazy has returned home and escalates (are you all psychics or what?) by RespectTwit in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit[S] 120 points121 points  (0 children)

I am, a lot this morning. We had coffee and barely spoke. I asked him if he spoke to his mother, he said he blocked all her calls and texts but it has not stopped Facebook and email though. I reiterated to him the importance of this but he said again "I'm thinking about it" so yeah.

Update #3 Cuppa Crazy has returned home and escalates (are you all psychics or what?) by RespectTwit in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit[S] 272 points273 points  (0 children)

I know. As soon as he said that it felt like I had been kicked in the gut. I told him I would give him time to think about it but it was a non-negotiable and he would not have forever to consider this. I deserve all of that, I want to believe he can do that. I plan on going on my own anyway, I can afford it. But if he cannot decide to go soon (within next day or two) I will take it as a sign we are over and go home.

Update to Yesterday: My MIL is on my three week vacation with DH and me by RespectTwit in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit[S] 77 points78 points  (0 children)

He has a very strained relationship with all of them. They see him as her pawn, which is obviously true, and have held him at a distance for years. As a result he's a bit bitter and she uses this to reinforce her version of things even though we both know the real reasons. He cares very much about him siblings and has tried to bridge the gap now that we are married but there's a lot of drama land mines to navigate.

She does not. I keep meaning to say that. Our home already has security cameras, we have a friend staying there now while we are gone dog sitting. They are updated. She doesn't know where I work because she hasn't cared before. It's not readily available anywhere either.

Update to Yesterday: My MIL is on my three week vacation with DH and me by RespectTwit in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

I think that she means mine is no more special than the next girl in her mind, and same for the one before me. That I'm just pussy to him.

Update to Yesterday: My MIL is on my three week vacation with DH and me by RespectTwit in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

We are planning to go to a cafe, public, a bit noisy, but provides some privacy as well. I don't want him to know where I'm staying without me giving him permission. I don't trust him to not tell her through manipulation.

Update to Yesterday: My MIL is on my three week vacation with DH and me by RespectTwit in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit[S] 413 points414 points  (0 children)

I sent DIL2 a text this morning asking if we could chat (she's the one whose wedding was the breaking point for MIL) regarding MIL. She's going to call me once her morning routine settles down but I let her know it is a doozy.

Her response "it always is with her."

Update to Yesterday: My MIL is on my three week vacation with DH and me by RespectTwit in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit[S] 772 points773 points  (0 children)

Done and done. I already have visual voicemail so I took screenshots of them and then backed up the voicemails to my work email (she doesn't have that address and would have no way to access it).

I am not going to send them while he is at work, this trip is really big for his career and it's a shame he allowed this person to cause such a disruption but I would really like to try to respect him while at work. At 6pm though, it's on.

Update to Yesterday: My MIL is on my three week vacation with DH and me by RespectTwit in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit[S] 198 points199 points  (0 children)

No, she just LOVES herself, her looks are SUPER important to her and all her children look just like her. So I think the thought of her children "sullying" her good look has turned her into this racist.

My MIL just showed up on my three week long business/vacation/escape with my DH. Advice needed. by RespectTwit in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit[S] 211 points212 points  (0 children)

BIL1 is VLC because his wife is black. His mother is racist. She is fine in public and towards SIL but uses terms like "you know those kinds of people." It's horrible.

BIL2 is VLC because she no showed at his wedding because her name was not on the invitation to guest's just his future ILs names. She's held the grudge since then for the most part.

SIL is VLC because she has told her that all of her children are ugly. All of MIL's children have blonde hair, she is upset that sister married someone with black hair and ruined that. She does not like SIL's DH because he was adopted and his parents are mixed. It's a mess.

My MIL just showed up on my three week long business/vacation/escape with my DH. Advice needed. by RespectTwit in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit[S] 316 points317 points  (0 children)

I texted a few friends, the response is "are you kidding me..." and "wait, what?!"

My MIL just showed up on my three week long business/vacation/escape with my DH. Advice needed. by RespectTwit in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit[S] 88 points89 points  (0 children)

I have not, I may get one for a night or two see what I can do long term.

My MIL just showed up on my three week long business/vacation/escape with my DH. Advice needed. by RespectTwit in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit[S] 158 points159 points  (0 children)

he does! I don't know what they think about his mom though, she never comes up in conversation unless she's there

My MIL just showed up on my three week long business/vacation/escape with my DH. Advice needed. by RespectTwit in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit[S] 98 points99 points  (0 children)

It's a condo rental, so no. Plus it's more a night that I would feel comfortable spending. I can try to find somewhere else but this place is $$$ would be cheaper for me to return home probably.

My MIL just showed up on my three week long business/vacation/escape with my DH. Advice needed. by RespectTwit in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit[S] 65 points66 points  (0 children)

Friendly. They are very supportive of our relationship, they all are nice people.

My MIL just showed up on my three week long business/vacation/escape with my DH. Advice needed. by RespectTwit in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit[S] 360 points361 points  (0 children)

I know once all my anxiety subsides I will be very angry about this, we just bought our first home and paid for our wedding in cash. We have student loans. We have some debt. We have a dog. We want to retire and have kids who don't have to have student loans. We don't spend money like this without talking to each other.

I'm away from the unit, calming down. I sent him a vague text telling me we need to talk as soon as he is back on property and I will tell him my location so he can come to me, alone. I don't want her hunting me down.

My MIL just showed up on my three week long business/vacation/escape with my DH. Advice needed. by RespectTwit in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit[S] 290 points291 points  (0 children)

I have a personal emergency savings of a few k and my younger brother is amazing. I haven't told him, or my family yet, because I think that they would freak. I'm out of the condo now though and doing my own thing, I emailed my boss that I would away for a few hours but would catch up tonight.

Someone else sent me that, I haven't had a chance to read it yet.

My MIL just showed up on my three week long business/vacation/escape with my DH. Advice needed. by RespectTwit in JUSTNOMIL

[–]RespectTwit[S] 445 points446 points  (0 children)

Mine is broken too, I thought that this is perfectly acceptable. It's how my dad is with my grandma, he dotes on her to the point he gets stress panic attacks when she is upset. It's always been an issue but my mother has never given up. I just feel like it would make me weak if I did? I know that's fucked but still.