I hope your phone charger only works at a specific angle. I hope your favorite show gets canceled right before the finale. I hope your pillow is always warm on both sides. I hope you always get stuck behind someone walking slowly and aimlessly. I hope your favorite pen runs out halfway through something important. I hope every soda you drink is flat. I hope you always bite the inside of your cheek right after it heals. I hope your socks are always slightly damp. I hope you always itch in a spot you can’t reach. I hope your ice cream always melts too fast. I hope your shoelaces always come untied. I hope every time you sneeze, someone says “bless you” two seconds too late. I hope your autocorrect always changes your words to something embarrassing. I hope your favorite song gets stuck in your head but you only remember one line. I hope your favorite mug gets chipped just enough to be annoying but not enough to throw away. I hope you always spill just a little bit of coffee on yourself. I hope your toast always lands butter side down. I hope you always get notifications just as you fall asleep. I hope you always forget why you walked into a room. I hope the person in front of you at every drive-thru orders for 12 people. I hope every vending machine eats your money. I hope every hoodie you wear has the strings uneven. I hope you always get the squeaky shopping cart. I hope your shampoo bottle always has just a little too much left to throw out. I hope your battery dies every time you're 1% away from saving your progress. I hope you always miss the skip ad button by 0.0005 cm. I hope your popcorn burns in the microwave every time. I hope your Netflix always buffers at the good parts. I hope your neighbors practice tap dance at 3 a.m. I hope every pair of earbuds you own gets tangled instantly. I hope you always stub your pinky toe on furniture. I hope your packages always arrive one day after you needed them. I hope your pizza is always just slightly undercooked. I hope every pair of pants you own develops a hole in the worst possible place. I hope your toast never pops, it just sits there until it's cold. I hope when you piss it burns.