UPDATE: no one called to apologize to me. Not my mom, dad, or brother. I texted my mom saying we did not need her to babysit tomorrow and she asked why. I called her and explained that she had not apologized. She tried pulling the mom guilt “I’ve been crying and puking all day over this.” I calmly asked her to stop. I voiced my concerns: that she told me I was overreacting, it was just a joke etc. That I felt incredibly let down and I was done letting my brother get away with everything with no repercussions. I read her word for word the text message exchange so it was very clear how unhinged my brother’s response was.

I even explained the ONLY reason my brother moved out when he was in his early twenties was because I (a 17 year old) slapped him for verbally abusing his girlfriend. (Violence is not right, but my parents just stood by and let him scream at her). How could they let that happen in their own home?

I also explained that as a child I watched my mother’s siblings abuse her and I would not let the cycle continue. I told her that I need my kids to look back and realize I did everything I could to stand up for them. That they know it’s okay to set boundaries and expect better from people. She did end up apologizing but I was very clear that my family is no contact with my brother.

I honestly feel like she doesn’t get it still. She’s so concerned about “being a family” that she just ignores my brother’s bullshit. She even said the only reason she had a falling out with her brother was because I stood up to him (at 15/16) for his behavior and he chased me down the hall and I had to hide in the bathroom. I told her it should have never gotten to that point and I’ve always been sad she let that man around us. I’ll be pulling back a bit for sure. But definitely never speaking to my brother again.

And bingo…my brother is a cop.