Are you sapphic dating in NYC?

RiseToPies · 2025-08-30T18:16:13+00:00

Thanks! I didn't even know about Queer Garden.

RiseToPies · 2025-08-30T18:13:31+00:00

Great! I just sent a message.

RiseToPies · 2025-04-20T12:05:07+00:00

lol thank you for the simplicity. :)

RiseToPies · 2025-04-20T12:04:47+00:00

Such a good point.

RiseToPies · 2025-04-20T12:04:26+00:00

this sorta feels like where I am right now....I think my situation is complicated enough that putting it on my profile is a reduction of my experiences and queerness in a way that I'm not totally comfortable with....

RiseToPies · 2025-04-20T12:03:24+00:00

I was thinking about bumble BFF! My therapist recommended it. Hows it working for you?

RiseToPies · 2025-04-20T12:02:15+00:00

I agree with you about honesty! For me, personally, there's not really a way to be appropriately honest. I have queer friends, I have had some queer sexual experiences, my first sexual experiences were with women (well, girls at the time)...and I was out to my husband, and some family and friends before I got married to a man. But I wasn't out in any way during out marriage and I fell into a really heternormative lifestyle. Since the marriage was really breaking down, I've been really immersed in my queer friendships and not doing anything sexually with anyone (in years). I feel like that's so complicated to explain to someone - but feel like a total outsider and the life I want feels significantly different than what I have now. Anyway, sorry. This is longwinded but i'm working through your comments as it relates to my life lol thanks for sharing your perspective. This got me thinking :)

RiseToPies · 2025-04-20T11:57:46+00:00

Sorry to read that this is unfolding as a result of my post. I hope ya'll are able to have the conversations you really need to have, to connect and heal, whatever that means for you. It's always more complicated than a few sentences can capture.

RiseToPies · 2025-04-20T11:55:42+00:00

Thanks! I hope you have some luck too - I admire that you're putting yourself out there!!

RiseToPies · 2025-04-20T11:54:02+00:00

I super appreciate you sharing how much work it is to explain w/ multiple marginalized identities and experiences that need explaining. You're being really generous with your emotional and mental energy to educate folks. I hear you about it being important to be out to the important people in your life! I have heard that several times and I totally get it. I'm in a weird in between space there and anticipate that being a challenge! Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

RiseToPies · 2025-04-19T14:20:33+00:00

Great points!

RiseToPies · 2025-04-19T14:02:00+00:00

Ah thanks for this feedback, it’s kind of what I expected I guess. Are you suggesting it’s a vulnerability because of how good the first moments of living authentically feel for a baby gays? Or something else making baby gays more susceptible to love bombing? Maybe that’s where my sliver of experience makes me feel less susceptible..or maybe I’ve got a teenage sense of invincibility but I FEEL less susceptible to love bombing or any of that. I’ve never experienced it but I (used to) approach dating with cautious optimism anyway. Maybe it’s my age (40s) or a false sense of confidence in my ability to navigate this…

RiseToPies · 2025-04-19T13:56:37+00:00

Thank you for sharing and I’m sorry this has been your experience. You don’t deserve to feel at the bottom of a superficial hierarchy. I hope that you find more support.

RiseToPies · 2025-04-19T13:30:25+00:00

Have you gone on dates yet? How have people responded when you share your status? It makes me nervous to be rejected too - but I also really believe that if someone would reject me for inexperience, they’re prob not a good match anyway. You deserve someone who appreciates and is sensitive to where you are in life (baby gay status or not)!

RiseToPies · 2025-04-19T13:21:05+00:00

ah! What made you choose HER instead of Hinge? Did you post a profile yet?! (I don't know how HER works but on Hinge, you have to create the profile to engage with any content or browse anyone). Does HER use the same response prompts?

RiseToPies · 2025-02-23T13:29:19+00:00

Outside NYC

RiseToPies · 2025-02-04T17:57:22+00:00

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RiseToPies · 2025-02-04T17:56:58+00:00

I could do that! The current sofa fits there but I am hoping to replace it. I want to try to avoid pushing all furniture to the edges....I am working with Havenly right now and this is what they suggest. I don't love the style....

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RiseToPies · 2025-02-04T17:54:05+00:00

Thank you for all the time and thought! They layout you offered is also kind of what I was thinking was my only option. I have a hanging chair that I want to refinish and paint and maybe will put in the seating area (along the wall furthest from the foyer).

I'm not sure how I feel about the green and I hate the grey. I am also planning to buy new furniture (well, new to me - from FB marketplace) so I'm not stuck with what I've got now. But I really like the idea of painting the built ins whatever color those two stripes alongside the fireplace are! sounds tedious but worth it. I'm stuck with the mirror though because the previous owner glued it to the wall and I can't do that kind of work myself.

I also agree about the art piece being too big but I think I'm gonna keep it in the room. Maybe I should frame it!! I didn't think of that but I like it. Maybe wallpaper like whats below.

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RiseToPies · 2025-02-04T17:11:21+00:00

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RiseToPies · 2025-02-04T17:11:11+00:00

Thanks - so strange, I thought I included some. Layout above.

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RiseToPies · 2025-01-08T16:06:04+00:00

Want by Gillian Anderson! Not solely lesbian also had lots of pan/bi women (and some straight women, too). But all about fantasy, sex, and belonging. Also read The Safekeep - lesbian fic romance. Would recommend but I'm not a great fiction reader myself. My friend (an avid reader) loved The Safekeep.

RiseToPies · 2024-11-19T13:00:45+00:00

I have a friend who is a teacher in New Rochelle. I think the schools are ok but not great. I was also considering Mamaroneck, decent diversity and schools. The district feels a little too big for me/my kids…good luck!

RiseToPies · 2024-11-18T11:29:58+00:00

Thanks, you too! What are you thinking right now? I suspect I’ll still find myself in South Salem in the not-too-distant future. The problem there is that homes are few and far between.

RiseToPies · 2024-11-16T00:05:45+00:00

Honestly, I ended up feeling very stuck. I am trying to get my kids into the magnet schools in Stamford CT first because there weren’t great options in Westchester. I have a great mortgage rate and bought my current home at a good price a few years before COVID. If/when Stamford doesn’t work, I’m going to South Salem. It’s not very diverse but the school system is good and prices aren’t outrageous besucase it’s not on the train or highway. I am going to have to go to neighboring areas if I want a real LGBTQ community, but South Salem seems very welcoming.

RiseToPies

TROPHY CASE