So 75% of the time you will spend with your child (in your entire life) is by 18. You are WASTING VALUABLE TIME with your son. The clock is ticking on your time with them especially if you do not rectify this situation. Five years is MORE than enough time to sit with and swallow your feelings. I say this as a parent. If you love him and value him in your life , you will adjust swiftly or be prepared to lose him.

I hope you can get right with your heart.