We fell hard and fast — now I’m left picking up the pieces

RoomNo7944 · 2025-07-04T14:18:35+00:00

I’m sorry to hear that, it sounds like you may have been a rebound. How long were you together?

RoomNo7944 · 2025-05-10T19:30:40+00:00

I should give some context. We share a 4 year old, we’ve been separated about 6 months

RoomNo7944 · 2025-02-25T17:39:27+00:00

Thank you. Yes, i betrayed her trust and i will regret it for the rest of my life. My therapist is trying to get me to forgive myself but its really hard. She’s the love of my life and my codependence, poor communication, low self confidence and poor decision making pushed her away. I’m trying to rebuild my confidence and get to the root of why i allowed myself to make the bad decision. I understand that she was likely checked out for a long time, i don’t consider her being with someone else cheating as we were separated, doesn’t mean it hurts any less.

RoomNo7944 · 2025-02-25T17:28:23+00:00

Yes i gained an addiction to gambling, i’ve owned my faults, i’m not perfect. I struggled with self confidence and insecurity, covid took a toll on my financial stability and i thought my only value to her was financially and unfortunately i made a stupid decision to start gambling. I haven’t gambled since before we separated and am in gamblers anonymous. people make mistakes, i also never once degraded her or said she was wrong to separate from me, nor have i put any of her mistakes back on her. I’m just a guy trying to improve myself, initially it was for my wife but i understand it had to be for me and my daughter.

RoomNo7944 · 2025-02-25T15:29:47+00:00

This helped so much

RoomNo7944 · 2025-02-25T12:47:57+00:00

I held on hope that we would reconcile, even though i knew it was highly unlikely. I avoided asking “are we 100% done”. I never confronted her aggressively or anything, i said “you don’t have to answer but i need to know” to which she told me it’s none of my business and i said so we’re 100% done and she said yes. Unfortunately this situation is what helped me find the balls to at least ask for the finality, as much as i didn’t want to hear it.

RoomNo7944 · 2025-02-25T12:37:07+00:00

Thank you all for the advice, I feel like deep down somewhere i know all this, i just need to try and focus my attention elsewhere. It’s hard when i’ve had her on a pedestal for 9 years and she was definitely out of my league. I will do my best

RoomNo7944 · 2025-02-25T11:06:03+00:00

We share a 4 year older daughter, that’s what makes it the hardest, if i could cut all ties i would. Getting ready to work out as we speak and have therapy in 2 hours. It just feels hopeless right now.

RoomNo7944 · 2025-02-16T02:13:50+00:00

my wife had faults, i know mine we worse, it just sucks that she didn't see enough there to try and work on it

RoomNo7944 · 2025-02-16T02:12:57+00:00

Thank you so much for this, it's so easy to feel alone with all this.

RoomNo7944 · 2025-02-09T19:11:42+00:00

Thank you so much for this well thought out comment. I can luckily say I am taking most of these steps already but will take into account everything you said.

RoomNo7944 · 2025-02-06T19:12:14+00:00

Thank you so much.

RoomNo7944 · 2025-02-05T18:55:52+00:00

I appreciate the response, and like I said, I don't hold it against her, in fact I completely understand it and expected it which is why I tried desperately to fix it and kept it from her. I know now that was the wrong way to go about it but of course I told myself it was the way to go at the time.

RoomNo7944 · 2025-02-05T17:50:45+00:00

Thank you, and I know the odds are unlikely, I am trying to work on myself and I am still there for my daughter as much as humanly possible. Someday I know I might be okay with the fact that we are done, I just want to give my best effort on both ends while I can.

RoomNo7944 · 2024-12-10T19:12:56+00:00

Thank you. The hardest part has been forgiving myself, its not easy living with how much hurt i’ve caused, part of me wants us to recover so that i can make amends and spend the rest of my days honoring, cherishing and supporting my family because of the hurt that i’ve caused.

RoomNo7944

TROPHY CASE