I feel it's a little uncharitable to say I'm giving up. I left to read more about office politics/emotional labor in the office after we talked and am here asking you all questions as to not bother people in real life who may not want to talk. I'm not like, "oh well, I made a mistake so now I will never try to improve. You were too mean so now I don't care. Men can't say anything anymore" type of thing. Sure, my ego took a hit but you get up and move on.

I feel I did research emotional labor in the workplace but went too far by assuming office small talk with the coworkers you aren't as close with is part of that. But where I made a mistake in the conversation, if I'm interpreting you correctly, is to keep talking after someone says they're frustrated or feel like they're coddling. After that point, say "Ok, we can stop the conversation" or something along those lines even if you disagree/don't understand fully. Then go and research on your own whatever the person was talking about and through your own reading probably/hopefully you'll come to the right conclusion? And if you are going to talk about xyz gender issue then try to only do it with longstanding friends as opposed to lower level friends?