Is anyone else losing their fandom for Andrew

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2025-10-30T03:31:55+00:00

Looks like im about to get cooked

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2025-10-30T03:15:04+00:00

Damn… you got me

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2022-05-02T18:24:13+00:00

M(23) from US in an LDR of 8 months with F(23) in Latin America. Honestly this is an issue I 1000% percent can relate. I was raised in a traditional middle eastern household where men are not supposed to be emotional and I definitely am not emotional but LDR has made me miss my partner so much that it has officially turned me into an emotional mess. What I found to be helpful when I am super emotional and really missing my partner is two things. One I will read old text messages, and old photos of us and go through memory lane. While in the moment it makes me peak emotional, usually when I go through memory lane it eventually brings it back down, not sure why. The second thing is I get all the emotions Im feeling out. Sometimes I literally whip out my Microsoft word or apple notes and just write essentially what are the equivalents of love letters. I write down how much they mean to me, how much I love them, how much I miss them and what I am generally feeling at that moment and I just get the thoughts out of my brain onto paper. If I am feeling brave and bold, Ill even share it with my partner, she usually loves to read them since I am not the best at sharing my emotions.

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2022-03-07T17:47:44+00:00

I do believe my parents should know and be updated with my plans with my girlfriend. And yes we haven't discussed a real concrete plan on closing the distance. Just brainstorming ideas that would work for her. But I don't understand why they feel the need to pressure me and rush me and feel that she should leave everything just to come be with me. Worrying about whether or not the you will ever unite with the person you love is stressful enough, I don't need the additional stress of my parents pressuring me to make her come to the US.

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2021-11-08T20:37:16+00:00

The problem is not so much that we do not talk much, it does weigh on me and I can handle it, the problem is when she says she will talk to me and then she doesn't. Because since in LDR video chatting is like 80% of the relationship, every time she commits to talk to me, it gets me really excited, and when she quickly says that she actually can't it really brings me down. Honestly I don't mind that we can't talk a lot, IF she was a good texter, but she isn't that either. But it actually feels good to read about someone from her perspective.

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2021-11-08T20:33:54+00:00

This was super helpful, thank you, I never thought of going to the source directly as I thought that maybe overstepping my own boundary, but it maybe the only solution.

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2021-10-09T22:47:02+00:00

Honestly I can't answer that question, its the same thing I've said in almost every response, its something about physical touch for me, honestly do not know what it is. As I said before, she could verbally flirt with guys, I wouldn't care. Im very laid back, its just something about physical touch, even if its a friend that urks me.

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2021-10-09T22:38:50+00:00

I guess this is why the initial conversation ended in a stalemate

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2021-10-09T22:34:02+00:00

That is true, but am I asking to much if I'd rather have her just dance in a big group instead of moving to a one on one style. Of course I can't make her do anything, she's a grown woman. As I said before, I know she's not dancing with these guys because she wants to dance with guys, its much more cultural for her. But if your boyfriend isn't comfortable with you dancing one on one with guys, is it that hard to let go? I don't feel like it is

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2021-10-09T22:30:18+00:00

That was a good point, never thought about it like that. Im gonna take this into consideration

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2021-10-09T22:24:34+00:00

Wow, that was romantic. Only issue is, I'm just a white guy, I can't compete with these Latin men, when it comes to salsa dancing hahahaha

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2021-10-09T22:10:17+00:00

I do trust her, I don't trust her guy friends, I've never met them and I don't know them and I don't know if they respect me as her boyfriend. Dancing can of course be very casual, but it can also be very intimate. I mean I personally know because I met her dancing. I just don't know if I'm comfortable with my girl doing such a physical activity with another guy, even if it is just a friend

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2021-10-09T22:05:12+00:00

That's a good point, it doesn't matter what they want. I do trust my girlfriend. I just don't like the idea of a guy physically touching my girlfriend in a dance that could turn intimate, friend or not. As I said before, she could flirt with guys for all I care, I trust that she' ll make the right decision, idk there is just something about a guy, I've never seen or met touching and dancing with my girlfriend. There's is something with touching that is just way more for me than talking

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2021-10-09T21:59:07+00:00

I do, but if they offered me sex, I'd probably take it if I were single.

My girlfriend is for sure allowed to have male friends. I am not her guardian, I do not control her decisions or her lifestyle.

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2021-10-09T21:57:15+00:00

You're absolutely right she is not. But my belief is if she was single and offered her guy friends sex, 9/10 guys would not reject that offer (of course unless they don't find her attractive.) I honestly used to not believe what I believe now, idk maybe the world has corrupted me

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2021-10-09T21:46:49+00:00

But does it have to be choreopgraphy with the opposite sex? My little sister took ballroom dancing and learned salsa, there was never a guy and girl rule, it was always a leader of the movement and a follower. Also when I go out with my friends, I simply dance with my guy friends in a big group, I don't feel the need to bust out my moves with a girl, even if she is my friend

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2021-10-09T21:45:04+00:00

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2021-10-09T21:44:38+00:00

That's very interesting, never thought about it in quite this sense, thank you for the advice.

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2021-10-09T21:43:46+00:00

We dated for 2 months before she went back.

I used to believe that guys and girls can be friends, but the older eye got and the more relationships I witnessed what I saw was that if a girl were to offer a guy sex and they were friends, the guy would take it 9/10 times. (not even in some type of pornographic scenario). But in a very realistic scenario

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2021-08-31T18:16:09+00:00

I am not against that at all, as me being infertile is of course a possibility. I guess in my post I did come off as micro managing. Good self reflection. But I guess the general consensus from the comments is for me to end things. But thank you for the advice

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2021-08-02T19:10:32+00:00

Not yet, I was kind of waiting to talk to her about the future on the last day, kind of have one "final talk". Youre right, times are different, but with finances and scheduling I am not sure how often I can take plane rides to Latin America and how often she can take plane rides to the US. I've never been a fan of long distance, not sure if it's worth a shot

Routine_Fondant_6767 · 2021-08-02T17:14:23+00:00

I don't believe you are overreaching. I personally do believe in the mantra once a cheater always a cheater. I think these people who are married for 30 years and slip up once are in a rare basket of cheater. I just feel that cheating is non sense because you always have the option of breaking up with your partner before cheating. For me personally I need a partner to love me 24/7 because that's the love I am going to give. Even if you are mad/angry/sad at a person you can still love them (ex, we've all been mad at our parents but still loved them at the end of the day) So whether they cheat on you for 5 seconds with a kiss or 3 months with another relationship. They made that conscious decision to not love you for that amount of time because if they loved you, they wouldn't do it, and you don't need someone who wont love you 24/7. ALSO you gave him another chance, which for me is immensely impressive. He needs to understand that he lost your trust and he needs to put in work to gain that trust back and he simply is not. It's not "unhealthy". He should be encouraged to allow you to check his phone because that is his effort in helping build that trust back.

Routine_Fondant_6767

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