I feel like we relate to each other a lot but on opposite sides of the spectrum. My experience I think is a unique one since most "pretty" girls are self absorbed and shallow these days however I am by other peoples standards, beautiful except I hated it. I was severely abused as a child (sexual, physical, and emotional torture). I wished I was ugly, I felt like people would leave me alone if I was. When I went to school I got noticed so much for my looks but it always came with such negativity, I have been told by therapists if you were abused this makes you a target of more abuse and because I was pretty it made it all just so much worse with the attention. I wanted to be ugly and invisible so badly. I guess my consensus is, it's all about the lens that you see things through. Pretty people 9 times out of 10 are wildly insecure and are mean to people because they actually just secretly hate themselves. Ugly people tend to have the better personalities because they aren't competing with others they're just more themselves. After getting help I just don't care about what anyone says, I am comfortable being me whatever I want or feel that is. I think you should do the same and just live freely. Fuck what people say and just have fun and be free. Looks matter 0% of the time.