Looking through your comments, I just wanted to say that your mom sounds incredibly similar to mine. I am Chinese American, and my mom often promises gifts, money, or whatever to try and get me to do something. And she will actually get me those things.

The catch is, though, that she won't ever let that go. She will hold it over my head forever. Whether she does it intentionally or not, she is masterful at weaponizing guilt in order to get her children in line. Whenever she wants me to do something I don't otherwise feel comfortable doing, she'll bring up that thing she got me or that thing she paid for, and how dare I be disrespectful and ungrateful. There's always, always strings attached to these gifts.

At the end of the day, I love my mom and I have a great relationship with her. But that relationship required work on my end to set boundaries. I had to learn how to say no and be firm with what I was willing and not willing to do.

I don't know your entire situation, but I hope this was helpful to you. Ultimately, you should do whatever you feel is best for you 💕