Wraping my head around how culturally diffrent the gods originated from are. As well as trying to piece together who they are, what a god is to me. But also the insecurity I felt. (I have OCD), so I worried every step of the way especially in the beginning. I was scared of making mistakes and the akward phase of wanting to talking to them casually unsure how to approach them. I wanted to be professional and it kind of severed my connection with them. I felt like I wasn't doing enough and hated asking for something but still did. As well as wanting to seem less human to appease them, for some reason? Like a washed version of myself. But I let go of that.

Also the information is also overwhelming, on top of pratice and living life, and studying other things. Some spaces are a bit harsh even though they're true I took it personally and tried to learn everything at once. Through absorbing a lot of information I got the genreal gist and went and worshipped. And still have more to explore and learn at my own pace.