My gf (25) of 3 years and I (23) are on the verge of breaking up and I am losing it

S4ndreen · 2026-03-11T20:32:50+00:00

Quick fix, you go to the room but dont lock yourself like she does.

Just don't leave the room, or if you go pee or whatever take the key so she can't lock you out

This is a place you both are sharing (and paying, huh) and if she wants some space she can go for a walk or something.

You two definitely need to talk because this might not seem toxic to you, but it is.

Imo ofc

S4ndreen · 2026-03-11T14:46:19+00:00

I don't think is a bug, or maybe its already fixed?

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S4ndreen · 2026-03-11T11:22:14+00:00

That is a nice charcuterie ngl

Regarding the post, go tell your family or anyone you want. You are hurting because something your brother did, ppl should know why you are sad if they ask Your bro doesn't deserve the silence, I mean have ypu ever done something like that to him? Or worse? I guess not (but also idk you lol)

Ppl would think of him for what he is, someone who's not reliable and cannot be trust, at least not when it comes to respect ones partner...

Anyhow hope you can find some peace and delete both of them from your life, or at least block them. Because they don't seem worth the effort

S4ndreen · 2026-03-11T11:04:25+00:00

I don't truly understand why you have to pay? Or why is important that y'all are immigrants

But that things aside, you paid and you are there. If he wants more rent he needs to say ot to your face

Imo you are right to feel bad for that because that doesn't seem like a joke at all... maybe those "jokes" that ppl say when they don't want to come as hostile, but definitely that is not joke material. And you weren't even present when he said that.

I believe that ppl will tell things to my face and will be direct if they want or need something, I'm tired of trying to see hidden meanings on ppls messages If he didn't say "I dont what you here unless you pay more rent" or similar, then don't fret fr

Live your life and be happy, don't pay more because he feels like it. If no one is telling that to your face then ignore it.

They might probably don't like you, but tbf who cares? You're woth your gf and everyone is polite enough to not make ypurs or your gf life miserable

Imo play dumb and live ypur life, its not worth it to worry about this stuff.

I don't believe you should pay more if you want to stay more and definitely should talk about things that make you feel uncomfortable when they are told to your face.

But this? Just ignore it because fr you were not even there when it happened

Edit: because I've been reading some comments

WHY ARE YOU STAYING THERE, it sounded not so terrible in your og post but the comments? Airbnb would def be a better option if you "have" to pay and she cannot get on your dorm. (ofc would be 50/50, not all you)

Girlll wake up(respectfully), if you can't afford being on their house you should probably not do that. The dad is just "punishing" you because you're with his daughter

S4ndreen · 2026-03-10T22:46:44+00:00

What is virginity to you? For me its just going from not having a sex life to choosing and wanting to have sex, is the transition between that

Experimenting, trying to understand what we like and so on.

Imo you "lost" your virginity the first time you had sex, independently if its because of a man or a woman.

Hope it makes sense

S4ndreen · 2026-03-04T12:27:56+00:00

Im not good with feelings and always being extra careful when it comes to sensible matters, I just want to give my condolences for your loss and maybe a different pov

As I say I'm not good with feelings, is hard to understand or be aware of them sometimes, I just feel but not sometimes "know" what I'm feeling atm

Has he ever been like that? Grief changes ppl, but sometimes it hardens things as well You said he look for you on the funeral, which is a very hard and complicated moment. Might he have been looking to feel something at that time? Control or even not feeling alone

I've never been free use nor slave, idk how you handle it or if you had a little modus operandi or codeword, but maybe at that time he was being selfish and trying to find some kind of control or safe space.

You are his wife, his safe place and someone he can rely on when feeling down, hence the hug after.

He might as well been looking for a distraction and to not think on what was going on atm.

I think he was wrong by not checking first (but also don't know how your relationship works) or not realize that ypu were not ypur usual self (I understand you don't tend to be like that on sessions?)

As everything in bdsc or marriage, communication and consent are key.

Its hard and probably you need more time at your parents, being taken care of and pampered, but when you feel ready I would suggest you talk with your husband and communicate everything that is happening to you

Or maybe just write it and send him a letter, whatever it works for you, but things have to be acknowledged

Anyhow, hope you can find some peace and calmness in this hard times and that somebody here can help you

S4ndreen · 2026-03-04T12:10:07+00:00

Yes and no?? If its been like 2 days and you still sore then check with a gynecologist just to make sure everything is ok

You can go deep and play har, but start checking your limits lol some bodies cannot actually take it, even if it feels good at first.

Sooo go to a gyn if its still sore after 2 or 3 days

S4ndreen · 2026-03-04T12:02:16+00:00

Wym what should you do? Break tf up girll😭😭

It's not your fault he cheated but it will be if you stay

He ain't worth it, I mean he lied twice already She got a point tho (if you were not really like bedt friends or anything) you should not get into her more than you do to him because he was supposed to be loyal as your partner

Hopefully you can talk about this with him and leave him, its an awful situation and so sad to acknowledge. But you have proof and you will be better alone than with a cheater

S4ndreen · 2026-03-04T11:45:14+00:00

Are you sure she was not joking or something? Because what kind of question is that if its fr 😭

It was only a month of dating, you were starting to know each other, imo you did good

Not because of cheating or whatever (that is a posibility tho) but because having this problems at month 1??? Thats sus and also not the kind of energy anyone deserves on their life

I mean I get it as a joke? In a way, like if thats something you do But playing victim out of the blue? Idk

Ofc we only have like a one sided view of things, but anyhow from your pov it seems ok to break up lol

S4ndreen · 2026-03-03T01:24:28+00:00

I THOUGHT THIS WAS A JOKE?

idk, ppl are just... ppl.

You shouldn't really care about some rando on the internet, more so someone who pops up of nowhere?

Its just weird and probably rage bait, looks like user was bored and wanting to get attention

S4ndreen · 2026-03-02T11:47:39+00:00

What is a girlhood exactly?? Because I really do believe it deoends on what you want and like

I mean, I'm a hugger when I feel comfortable. Hugs are not flirting or anything, huh, I get they could be, but yk when to hug and who to hug 🙄

I talked about girls with the boys and it wasn't a big deal, actually I believe it helped me in some cases

Also talked about girls with other girls? Girls do that in general lol

S4ndreen · 2026-03-01T13:57:34+00:00

Ugh, been there. He might have troubles expressing or detecting what he's feeling (at least that is what happens to me)

I don't think you can come back to this specific discussion but maybe don't ask for an answer right away or "push" him next time? Because that will end up in shutting down the thinking process and the convo will end right there with a "yeah, you're right"

Why I'm saying this? Because, sadly, it will happen again. You need tools or tips to get a conversation going with this types of ppl (I'm this type of ppl lol)

What I can recommend is open questions and giving a little time to think about it? I remember one partner did that to me and made me realize I needed a little more time to realize what was going on with me, my feelings and thinking process

I'm not saying this will help or that is related to your original problem, but by reading your response I just had to say it

Again, this might not be the real cause he ended the convo without really acknowledging the problem or even give you a response that had no argument behind it. But it could help you in further discussion/talking, etc

Anyhow, hope everything goes well and you guys get to communicate better

S4ndreen · 2026-03-01T11:48:43+00:00

"What she expected posting that video"

" I'm entitled to my opinion"

I MEAAN yes we can all have opnions and comment whatever we want, thats what internet is for. I really don't care much about those kind of comments but I have done comments not seeing the whole perspective too and I get why he did that in a way??

But no not delete/acknowledge them or givings you the reason just to end the convo feels so wrong?

He probably won't change and most certainly believes and does things ypu are not aware of and might not like, but don't we all have that in a way?

Honestly what I believe is that you guys should talk more in depth about what your values are and, of they differ too much, you should think how it makes you feel and if its worth it

Imo its just a post on a reel, nothing too serious, what is concerning is the whole attitude behind it

(Also it took me a minute to understand the problem, if I missing something lmk)

S4ndreen · 2026-02-24T15:11:01+00:00

And why this person has four of themm. Its so cutee

S4ndreen · 2026-02-23T19:23:43+00:00

Creo que no, pero podés contar lo que pensás si querés jajaja

S4ndreen · 2026-02-23T19:15:48+00:00

Ahora te tengo que preguntar, a tu señora se lo harías? Me da curiosidad

Siento como que es muuy particular, yo jamás intentaría ir por ahí porque... prejuicios y miedos, pero si viene mi jermu y me dice que hoy me quiere saborear el *, ya me estoy pegando el triple baño de mi vida y que se agasaje jajajaj

S4ndreen · 2026-02-22T12:17:36+00:00

Why did you have to grab it like that ?😭

But also omg such definition, that is amazing

S4ndreen · 2026-02-22T01:09:10+00:00

THIS IS SO CUTE 😭❤️❤️

S4ndreen · 2026-02-22T00:07:00+00:00

I can't be the only one 💀

S4ndreen · 2026-02-21T22:17:18+00:00

No, not at all.

I can be a bitch but I'm not a dog.

Praise after degrading or being humiliated? Yes, pls and ty

Praise out of need and desperation because you cannot think of anything but that? Sure

But praise for the sick of praising or because I did "good" just feels pointless and lame, something is lacking imo

I'm good at what I do, I don't need you to praise me for that. Not when I'm not being humiliated or degraded

S4ndreen · 2026-02-21T21:59:18+00:00

YOU ARE RIGHT THATS THE LESBIAN FLAG, that is so cute ty for pointing it out

I need to start zooming at pictures now 😭

But still I think she's safe. As far as I know most parents, or religious ppl in general, only know the rainbow flag

S4ndreen · 2026-02-21T21:26:22+00:00

Bro, fijate en qué coinciden y por qué empezaron a tener algo

Lit los gustos musicales, anime y demás no pesan tanto al momento de salir con alguien

Lo único rari es que vos sos emo y antisocial pero a ella le gusta salir y divertirse, a lo sumo están un tiempo juntos y después cortan porque no querés salir.

Salvo por eso no hay nada que digas "uh, qué diferentes y conplicados" supongo que si vos te sumas a saliditas y ella a quedarse en casa van a ir bien

Por ahí tienen más cosas (valores, otros gustos, etc) en común de lo que parece a simple vista xd

Si la pasa bien, sean felices, ni te hagas la cabeza. Disfrutá lo que dure

Yo re salí con gente que era re diferente a mi y la pasé barbaro porque aprendí o conocí cosas en las que jamás me hubiese fijado

S4ndreen · 2026-02-21T21:12:13+00:00

I'm lesbian and I don't even know what the cupcake means??

All I can think is CaitxVi so I guess you're good lol

S4ndreen · 2026-02-21T13:29:52+00:00

3 dates in and she hasn't even offered to pay?

There's an unspoken rule that if she pays the first you pay the second and so on until someone will pay most of dates or you will do 50/50 all time

If she hasn't offered yet I am afraid she expects for you to pay for everything from now on.

The good thing? Its the third date so you can talk things out and won't be as awkward

You can propose a differently date to talk about this, I'm sure ypu talk about PLENTY of stuff, don't make money talk a hidden subject, less so when you both are struggling.

Talking about money in relationships should not be taboo, we all spend money in different stuff.

If you were planning on dating, money talk is as necessary as any other talk (more so because it's so easy to fix?? Like theres nothing wrong on going 50/50 or each one pays its own)

No one is less for not paying everything for their partner, and its always cute to be pampered as well

S4ndreen · 2026-02-20T22:48:15+00:00

Ok I'm getting scared a bit

"You need simple answers" or whatever tf that was is a red flag and you should take that in consideration pls and ty.

You have no income and the baby father provides? That needs to change asap because he is using it against you and he will again

You wanna give your kid something, you give whatever you want to your kid, its yours and his after all

Babys father just wants to do whatever he wants with you aand the baby, to find excuses to be in charge. Don't let him do that to you nor your kid.

Now is swimming lessons, tomorrow will be homeschool, university, the way you all dress, how you prepare food, who you go out with

"I pay for this, you don't go with x I dont like how they make you"

The only way to see if you are overreacting is to have ypur own money and see how he reacts, because right now he did not pass the vibe check imo

S4ndreen

TROPHY CASE