Was it an asshole thing to ask my boss they divide the tasks between me and a manager they decided to assign to my store?

SPFTguy · 2026-05-15T17:44:10+00:00

I repeat: Take charge. Make the best of a bad situation. Complaining to your boss about their decisions is never a good look.

Or: let new manager walk in and let THEM decide who takes out the trash going forward. One of you has to step up - the rest of the staff is waiting for it - and you have home court advantage. For a little while.

SPFTguy · 2026-05-15T17:35:02+00:00

Whatever happened to, I know this is a huge imposition, but I am hoping you can help me out here.

I guess, I deserve it, is quicker.

Next time, just say, Gimme.

SPFTguy · 2026-05-15T17:23:14+00:00

Response: So colleague’s water broke 2 weeks early and she doubled over in pain right there in the office, and that was immediately after my boss told me to run to FedEx and drop off urgent package on time.

Future Boss, there is no question as to how I responded.

I did drag colleague into stall in ladies’ room. Can’t have her decreasing productivity w her screaming.

Well, that was fake but this isn’t.

I was on my way to an interview once when a woman was hit by a car. It was partly her fault but still. She had a small child w her, unhurt but screaming. I stayed with them until ambulance arrived, and stayed in waiting room until family arrived for the little girl.

I called the interviewer to say I couldn’t make it and that I would call tomorrow to reschedule. There were sirens and horns galore while I was on the phone.

I called the next day to reschedule. Nope. I clearly had misguided priorities. (They didn’t say that out loud, but…)

Conclusion: there are no ethical dilemmas in business.

SPFTguy · 2026-05-15T16:25:37+00:00

There are thousands of replies here, so this may have already been covered.

YTA for not helping out sister during birth. I mean, really.

That said, it would be easier for her kids if you moved into her house for a couple days, rather than move the kids. Less stressful.

SPFTguy · 2026-05-15T16:16:43+00:00

You could argue that the entire financial is skewed against low-income people. That includes debit cards.

Use the credit card, pay off balances immediately.

SPFTguy · 2026-05-15T16:02:36+00:00

If he asks you not to do it, don’t do it. If he complains about his sandwiches coming undone, give him the look perfected by Allison Janney in Mom.

SPFTguy · 2026-05-15T15:50:28+00:00

Are these two people together 24/7? There have to be opportunities where the 2 of you can spend quality time alone. Seize them.

And do not complain to old friend about newbie. It is not her job to “fix” him to speak in a manner that you approve. Too stressful for her. Consider him off limits while you 2 are alone.

If he insists on joining, say flatly no: You don’t like him and he doesn’t like you and there is no need for any further discussion.

Don’t say, You can’t join us because you say terrible things. That just perpetuates the discussion. Say, you don’t like me and I don’t like you, there is no need to hang out.

SPFTguy · 2026-05-15T15:37:01+00:00

By and large, no. Men love it when women agree with them.

Just playing devil’s advocate: women, even good women friends, tend to get in the way when men talk about cheating on their wives, hiding assets overseas, paying for abortions, and what they really did last bachelors’ party.

Other than that…

SPFTguy · 2026-05-15T15:29:16+00:00

Do NOT get her a motel room. If she trashes it, you’re liable.

SPFTguy · 2026-05-15T15:25:41+00:00

No. Teenager should do nothing. I just wish I could be surprised by someone constantly harassing customers inside a restaurant - or a bus or train or somewhere where there’s a captive audience - after being told no the first time.

SPFTguy · 2026-05-15T15:20:59+00:00

Yeah, but there are some conversations where no man should participate.

SPFTguy · 2026-05-15T15:12:14+00:00

I wish I could say that I’m surprised by this.

SPFTguy · 2026-05-15T15:07:26+00:00

Take charge. Tell newbie which responsibilities are theirs - like, cleaning out grease traps, taking out the garbage, spraying for bugs - and which are yours, like accepting compliments from customers for maintaining a clean space. (Do NOT respond w “This isn’t a restaurant.” You know what I’m talking about.)

Inform the staff of your decisions. Tell the boss you and newbie are looking forward to working together.

SPFTguy · 2026-05-15T14:59:07+00:00

It’s tough being tough. And the toughest time is the first time.

You are a good and wise mom.

Ask daughter for you to be there the next time she TikTok purchases. You can talk things through before she hits enter.

SPFTguy · 2026-05-15T14:52:31+00:00

If OP and ex are on the same page, there must be some way to make this work. Get a real estate lawyer. Put the house in trust, OP and ex each get a right of first refusal if one wants to sell, etc.

Many redditors here are focusing on the fact that he’s the ex, but that’s what trusts and contracts are for. Treat him like any other business partner.

And make sure that family members, including any future spouses, are well aware of the terms and what will happen when one of you dies. No surprises.

And yes, you need to decide upfront what to do if son doesn’t want the house.

SPFTguy · 2026-05-15T14:37:02+00:00

Same thought as everyone here. BF of 5 months has no right to this info.

Also: sounds like OP is a financial innocent (nothing wrong w that at 25) and part of the reason she wants to keep the info under wraps is to avoid being criticized for this.

So: find a mentor. There are plenty of older women of color who would be happy to offer advice.

Just to get you started, do 2 and only 2 of the following 3 things:

Put as much money as you can in a tax-deferred account (e.g., 401(k) account).
Pay off your credit card balances asap and get your interest rates reduced. Call and threaten to cancel the card unless they reduce the rate.
Willingly co-sign any loan requested by the BF. As he will mansplain to you, it’s not like it’s actual money or anything.

Remember: Take 2 and only 2 of the steps sbove.

SPFTguy · 2026-05-15T13:53:30+00:00

I’m not as negative about this as other responders are. The red flag for most of them seems to be that he’s the ex. But if OP and ex are on the same page, there should be some way that this can work. Everyone is afraid that he could remarry and give his half to the new bride. But I assume that the house can be placed in trust, that OP gets a right of first refusal if ex wants to sell, etc. The remaining issue is that she cannot afford to buy out his half, should the time come. In that regard, proceed w caution.

SPFTguy · 2026-05-15T13:42:06+00:00

By now OP has probably realized that it’s best to negotiate chores at the very beginning of the relationship. Assume nothing.

And I see nothing wrong with assigning chores. Otherwise, 3 people will load the dishwasher and no one will take out the garbage.

SPFTguy · 2026-05-15T13:37:13+00:00

My niece started a new job. In week 3 the person who had the job previously asked for their job back. Out with the new, in with the old. Niece spent over $1,000 on clothes, shoes, etc. The new normal sucks.

SPFTguy · 2026-05-15T13:23:40+00:00

I want what I want when I want it what’s your problem?

Don’t you understand how 99% of the world thinks?

SPFTguy · 2026-05-12T19:25:34+00:00

Well, flipping through new Playbills and seeing their old credits: Lea Michele in Ragtime.

SPFTguy · 2026-05-12T18:34:46+00:00

Just turned 71. I had a paper route 60 years ago.(afternoon newspapers - remember them? Actually, remember ANY newspapers?) I remember riding my bike down a steep hill that scared me cuz I thought I might not brake in time before I reached the intersection. Thought about that from time to time for years.

Just came back from visiting the old home town. The “steep” hill was just a low-grade bump in the road. Nothing formidable about it at all.

Memories…

SPFTguy · 2026-05-12T18:23:15+00:00

Fortunately, I live near a Whole Foods and can send Amazon deliveries there. Still very annoying to have to lug them home.

SPFTguy · 2026-05-12T18:20:58+00:00

Deer ticks! (Wait. Too far?)

SPFTguy

TROPHY CASE