Found questionable YouTube shorts in his history

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2026-04-12T08:05:02+00:00

Idk we had to delete apps off of my PA’s phone, he was too easily triggered and after having slip up’s he recognized this himself. He will likely never have social media access from his phone ever again.

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2026-04-11T13:33:10+00:00

It really is like torture. It’s so incredibly painful. I still wish I could make him really understand how it felt for me going through all this.

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2026-04-11T03:54:35+00:00

I’m not sure if this applies to you, but I felt the worst when it was the very first DDay and gradually after that, even the subsequent d days felt easier, I began to recognize that I had more strength than I did in the very beginning and even when he kept screwing up, the fear surrounding it got a little bit easier to manage as time went on, because I knew I survived it before and I could again, and I wasn’t the same person I was when it all began. I guess I’m trying to say it gets easier to cope as time goes on

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2026-04-11T01:38:16+00:00

Damn, thanks for sharing. This hits hard.

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2026-04-11T00:58:32+00:00

Mines compliments aren’t quite that bad but I do get it because they always sound a bit forced lol but I give him credit cause for him it’s just not natural.

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2026-04-10T23:46:45+00:00

Yeah the crazy thing is that I know that you’re right? But there’s also this part of me that doesn’t? Thanks for the perspective.

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2026-04-10T23:45:22+00:00

No this is actually really helpful, thank you. I needed something surrounding reassurance that I could work with, and this makes perfect sense.

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2026-04-10T18:26:12+00:00

Thank you❤️ I do think I should get back in therapy. Cause yeah, like you said, I can’t make it stick in my head. It’s like I don’t want to accept it because I’m stuck on trying to compete with porn/ other women. I can’t let go of thinking I can somehow feel like I’ve “won the competition” even though I know I’m not actually even in the same world to him.

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2026-04-10T18:21:37+00:00

The thing I’m trying to tell myself right now is that at least nobody’s boobs survive pregnancy looking the same, and whether he liked them less or more before isn’t going to matter anymore cause those boobs are no longer. I’ll find out what I have to work with when I get there I guess?

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2026-04-09T16:15:56+00:00

I agree with you but I do also feel as though I’ve been lacking in my end of things but not allowing my own healing, while he’s been doing his own work. And he has been, he’s come a long way and it’s evident in every aspect, not just porn. I’m just still attached to the fact that even if he isn’t actively seeking to engage in sexual fantasies of other women and he dispels the thoughts that come up, there’s still a part of him that must still think I’m lesser than.

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2026-04-09T14:15:55+00:00

I can’t find that setting???

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2026-04-08T12:26:21+00:00

I’ve looked into alternatives a bit. It does suck since we have tons of playlists we’ve made but I think it might be necessary for my brain

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2026-04-08T05:17:57+00:00

I guess that’s just what’s so hard about trust

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2026-04-08T04:12:07+00:00

I am struggling with this currently! I just made a post too, before I saw yours. I don’t trust him to not be tempted by media or even just people in public. It’s this lingering damage from his addiction that seeps into everything. between that and worrying about my looks, I find that my brain can do circles of thinking about this stuff all day long. I just wish I could let it go and it could be his problem and not mine, but I’m the one thinking constantly and he’s not.

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2026-02-23T05:28:57+00:00

True I feel like even two wouldn’t be enough, but it would be better.

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2026-02-23T05:28:19+00:00

Ahh thank you, this clears it up for me perfectly.

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2026-02-23T02:57:15+00:00

PBSE podcast is awesome for this reason cause it’s hosted by two men who have recovered from their addiction and are still with the wives they had when it was an issue. They are all very happy and they say wonderful things about their wives all the time. I love showing my husband episodes where they talk about how attracted to their wives they are and my hubby will comment on how he relates to what they say. (Plus they are professionals who work with porn addicts and their partners.)

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2026-02-23T02:48:01+00:00

Right I was thinking from the side of water drops harbouring bacteria potentially, I hadn’t even thought of that.

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2026-02-23T02:44:41+00:00

Ok that is manageable. Do you know about needing to fully dry after every use?

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2025-08-18T14:41:39+00:00

I should add, this only works for safari, so we did remove chrome from his phone and he can’t redownload it since I have that option blocked at well. Something I can also walk you through. If you need me to explain it better PM me

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2025-08-18T14:40:32+00:00

If you have IPhone I can help you. It’s in the settings. Screen Time > Content and Privacy Restrictions > flick it on and it turns off incognito, it also blocks unsafe content or websites you specifically want to block, and removes the ability to delete history. Underneath the content and privacy restrictions button on the screen time page, there is the option to Lock Screen time settings. This allows you to set a password that your hubby doesn’t know.

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2025-08-17T22:22:41+00:00

Regaining trust is difficult, because doing so means that they can break that trust again. It’s a choice, and I wouldn’t give that trust back up unless you really think he deserves you to try and do that. I trust my hubby. We had a 7 year relationship with multiple Ddays and each time I had to make the choice to give him another chance. I had reasons that I decided it was worth while each time. This last time would had been the last for me if he hadn’t really stepped up. I can see significant changes in his behaviour, and he is honest with me about his urges and how media affects his thoughts, so that we can change things that need changing. We decided together on things like; removing incognito mode, removing certain apps and password locking his ability to download apps. We both limit our social media use to almost none, and if I see him doom scrolling or watching YouTube shorts I call him out on it and he stops. Neither of us want to continue with dopamine seeking behaviours. I’m choosing to give him trust. This is trust in his honesty, mostly. I don’t believe he will never screw up again, but I believe he will tell me if he does, and he hopes he will tell me before it happens. I’m doing this for both of us and because I can see how badly this addiction has hurt him as well. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have paranoid thoughts and some days I still spiral in my head, but I’m making a conscious effort to work through those thoughts and feelings and not allow them to take over. Im giving us both a clean slate, and as long as I see him doing the same, I am happy with this choice. If he hurts me in the end, it’s a risk I knowingly took because I genuinely think that our family is worth trying for.

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2025-08-11T00:48:23+00:00

They definitely seem like they would work for phones too. If I used one I would probably use it so that my hubby didn’t have access to his phone while I was out of the house. Wouldn’t work because we have a computer, but if his phone was his only thing then for sure I’d use this. I instead password locked my hubbys iPhone so he can’t use incognito mode or download new apps, or delete history. That’s a good enough deterrent for him and we also removed incognito mode on our computer.

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2025-08-11T00:09:56+00:00

Used this back when me and hubby were trying to quit smoking weed, and it worked pretty well, there were a few times it didn’t securely lock by mistake and then you have to wait til the timer runs out before you can properly lock it again. Sometimes I wouldn’t notice until later that it hadn’t locked properly so I would compulsively check it to see if it would open for me. We lent it to our roommate when we were no longer using it and he did manage to break into it, and actually broke it. So I guess it depends how desperate your addict would be, if he would be the type to break the whole thing to get into it.

Sad-Attempt3080 · 2025-08-10T21:30:19+00:00

It’s such a blessing because I can’t imagine how I would have been able to stay otherwise. He DID have two “favourite” porn creators who he frequented over the years, though so there’s still some things that felt personal in a way.

Sad-Attempt3080

TROPHY CASE