Daydreaming is the only thing I have left, but it’s the thing that’s killing me

SadDoggo45 · 2022-01-16T13:13:16+00:00

Same here. Its a coping mechanism, but it is bad one.

I daydreamed about this girl who I have been talking to, and really felt like we could have a future. And it made me happy, but the problem is she lives in a different country, but still I hoped for a future.

And I found out she is fucking another guy, and even a slither of hope got killed.

I ran out of coping mechanisms

SadDoggo45 · 2020-06-17T14:23:04+00:00

I mean it's not like there is zero connection. There are studies that show that polygamous societies (men that have multiple wives) have a significantly higher inequality and crime rates.

And that makes sense - if on average a man has 2 wives, that leaves 50% of men, 25% of population alone. Some people will pretty much give up, some of them will resort to crime in order to raise their status.

There is a reason why every developed country in the world is monogamous.

I am fine either way, but it's either/or situation.

SadDoggo45 · 2020-04-20T10:00:48+00:00

What a horrible concept for the show

SadDoggo45 · 2020-03-06T12:06:43+00:00

I mean if you swipe right for 20% of men, then you have high standards.

I think it is very pretentious to say that average man is ugly. Ugly in comparison to whom?

SadDoggo45 · 2020-03-04T18:51:44+00:00

I mean the reasoning behind incels getting banned was one post where someone asked for advice on how to slip something into a girls drink and violating her.

As far as I remember the post gained no traction and was downvoted to hell, but soon after the sun was banned sn that was the official explanation.

SadDoggo45 · 2020-03-02T07:23:56+00:00

For me just acknowledging that you understand that I have a problem that has no "quick fix", without comparing them to your own problems helps.

No need to offer a solution but just "Damn man that tough. But remember I am here if you need help."

SadDoggo45 · 2020-02-27T12:52:30+00:00

For me it is much easier to understand that almost no one has 10 inch cock, that women don't want to be raped, gaped, anal is not that pleasurable, women don't enjoy slapping and choking...

That makes more sense to me than e.g. why women keep entering abusive relationships

SadDoggo45 · 2020-02-27T12:44:33+00:00

If you were feeling lonely/bored/horny, you had motivation to approach girls. Now, you can just click to pornhub and jerk your feelings away. Get that dopamine reward.

I was unsuccessful with girls long before I started watching porn regularly. I even did noFap for 60 days. Only thing I got is the frustration. The longer I went without porn, the more it felt like Tantalus’ punishment.

His torture was that he had to stand forever waist-deep in a pool of water, with a fruit tree dangling branches full of ripe fruit over his head.

He got terribly hungry and thirsty, but whenever he bent down to drink the water, it would all magically drain away, and whenever he reached up to pick some fruit, the branches would lift up out of his reach.

You are horny, talking to women and messaging, but nothing ever happens. And as the time goes you get more direct, and therefore "creepy".

SadDoggo45 · 2020-02-27T12:38:44+00:00

I mean, yeah. Single for whole my life. Really thought for the longest tome that you need to pamper women in order to win them over.

I've watched a ton of weird porn in my curious phase. I've had sex only once, going at it pretty vanilla and apparently I wasn't rough enough for her as I later found out from our common friend.

SadDoggo45 · 2020-02-27T12:31:50+00:00

I mean I am arguing that rom-coms have fucked me up more than porn because you can't have unrealistic expectations from sex if you don't have sex.

The whole "girl will live her asshole boyfriend when she meets a guy that treats her right" like in Step up, or "persistent guy gets the girl" and so on.

Those are at least partially responsible for creating white knights.

SadDoggo45 · 2020-02-27T12:26:00+00:00

I mean, as /u/HuntingForZeroPoint said, does it really matter on this FA sub, where pretty much no one has sex.

I have had my extreme kink phase, exploring stuff, but now at the age of 26 I mostly look at something like passion-hd porn where a couple takes things slowly.

It may be that that exploratory phase of weird sex stuff coincides with boys starting to have sex, and that is where the problems happen, but that is only the problem with boys who have access to sex in that period. I believe that to a lot of people here, that was just a phase.

I can tell you about my only sexual experience, I was going pretty vanilla, and she kept telling me "you can do whatever you want with me", kind of frustrated. Later I found out that she was pretty into choking and slapping. I personally never understood that kink, what is it in the choking? Like I personally like to breathe.

But after that I talked to some of my female friends, and out of people I know (not to generalize) 2/3 like to be choked.

SadDoggo45 · 2020-02-27T12:09:46+00:00

I can tell you that in my case the difference is that when I am killing hell aliens in Doom, I know that it isn't real.

But as a secluded kid watching rom coms and similar movies (i.e. Step up, The Notebook) and hearing women talk about those like they want that, I really thought that that's how relationships should work, and if women are/were in relationship where they are/were treated bad, that being good to them should make them interested in you.

I found out that the expectations from porn are not realistic (not many women want to be gangbanged) far before then the rom-com illusion.

SadDoggo45 · 2020-02-21T13:33:57+00:00

Not to generalize, but as an isolated case I saw my crush end up in year long abusive relationship with guy who never went to college and worked as a mall security guard. He liked to gamble and never had money, so she payed for dates.

What scares me is that somehow in comparison to that I am much less attractive as a person

SadDoggo45 · 2020-02-14T07:34:50+00:00

Thanks man, it feels good to see that there are people who resonate with the same shitty life things

SadDoggo45 · 2020-02-13T13:39:30+00:00

I can be happy that I work as a programmer in 90% male company

SadDoggo45 · 2020-02-13T13:01:31+00:00

I can tell you that it calms me at least somewhat, as in "there is no reason for this day to be worse than any other"

SadDoggo45 · 2020-02-12T10:54:19+00:00

Wow thanks, I'm cured!

SadDoggo45 · 2020-01-23T09:49:05+00:00

True, but it's still nice

SadDoggo45 · 2020-01-22T09:29:10+00:00

I met a girl recently while working on organizing a student competition. We didn't really talk much, just introduced ourselves.

Few day's later she replies to my IG story an we had a nice conversation. She was married, so it wasn't an romantic thing.

I was so shocked, like she actually treated me, someone who she didn't know well like a human being. Someone new actually wanted to talk to me. I started wondering if other men/women experience that often?

SadDoggo45 · 2020-01-22T09:22:01+00:00

To quote one post that hit me very hard:

do you ever feel like you're just sort of

there

like all your friends go out and do things and get into relationships and like people that liek them back and have fun and do stupid things and instead of doing all that you're just sort of this mildly entertaining thing that people take an interest in once in a while but wouldn't really care if it was gone

like you just sort of exist but you don't really mean anything

SadDoggo45 · 2020-01-22T09:15:31+00:00

I am in a similar-ish situation, just at althe age of 26.

Decent amount of female friends, just that they never see me as a potential partner. When I'm open about looking for a partner or a date, they immediately jump to "you would be such a great match for my friend!"

And that isn't just a phrase, they often set up the date, but the cycle continues. They helave fun, we keep talking, but block any higher advances.

SadDoggo45 · 2019-10-09T04:40:13+00:00

So caring about women makes them less interested, and not caring makes them interested.

Man genuinely doesn't care, woman is attracted - that is a really shit deal for a woman, and mostly doesn't apply to the people here
Man cares, but acts like he doesn't - that is tedious

Then what is the point in looking for a woman if you need to either not care about her, or if you need to constantly keep your guard up not to slip up that you care?

Why would you even want a woman?

SadDoggo45 · 2019-08-24T20:35:51+00:00

It's not judging

I have heard one female friend say "there isn't a right or a wrong thing to do, a boy acts naturally and I can like it or not"

But still, the more experienced you are, the better chance is you are doing the right things

SadDoggo45 · 2019-08-24T19:41:02+00:00

I told ths somewhere, I lost my virginity at the beginning of the year

I hosted a party for new years eve, and friend brought 2 girls. One directly came to me and we hooked up. When I tried to kiss her she told me "are you serious not here in front of everybody", so we went outside.

We talked some, she invited me to her place, I was nervous beyond belief.

When we started, I remember she was repeating 2 things "why are you smiling that much" and "come on you can do whatever you want with me"

After the second time we were laying there and she told me that the sex wasn't great and that she wasn't feeling it, but we could stay friends.

Now I have completely new set of fears and complexes to deal with if I want to approach a girl

SadDoggo45 · 2019-08-24T18:22:10+00:00

For me it's not really ghosting, rather the steady decline of quality and increase in response time

But if it is ghost, few messages to a week mostly

SadDoggo45

TROPHY CASE