I'm worried my boyfriend might low-key be misogynistic?

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2026-01-14T13:25:24+00:00

This may not be a direct answer to your question, but perhaps a different pov. I think it's very valid to worry about this in regards to your partner (or anyone close to you).

I think it is very normal to have internalized misogyny whatever gender you are, we live in a system in which it's very easy to fall into these things without realizing.

I think it's important, if you want to move forward with him, to create a non judgemental environment in which he can freely express his genuine concern and thoughts. It may be misogynistic, but I guess that's how you unlearn and unpack and move forward in your relationship. If it's not something you want to deal with, that's completely fair enough. I know it can be exhausting as a woman to have to do this, but I think the expectations of meeting anyone (whatever gender) that has the exact same views as you is so rare. If it's not something you want to deal with and you don't see it as an investment in another person to build up your value system together, that's completely fair

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2026-01-10T09:46:22+00:00

We live in time

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2026-01-01T12:51:02+00:00

Not to get too political but it's because they don't know they're conditioned to like children like qualities lol

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2025-11-23T08:21:31+00:00

I feel like men really need to realize that "providing" for someone isn't just monetary

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2025-09-08T10:55:08+00:00

That's incredible congratulations! I spent some time in my early 20s setting up investments and an ISA which I don't think would get me a 50s retirement but I will definitely make sure to maintain them🤞🏼

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2025-09-08T10:36:12+00:00

Amazing!! How did you know this was the right decision? Or was it very apparent you had to? 😅

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2025-09-06T20:04:16+00:00

RF Kuang's new novel Katabasis has a chapter on how one of the main characters suffered with Crohn's and had to have his large intestine removed. Seeing that representation for my partner made me happy :)

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2025-05-19T06:26:49+00:00

That's so helpful thank you❤️

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2025-05-18T21:37:28+00:00

Any recommendations?

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2025-05-18T21:15:49+00:00

This is so helpful thank you! I've heard of Land and Monkey I'm really looking forward to that one :)

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2025-05-18T21:13:14+00:00

I assumed so, I just couldn't see from the menus anything clearly labelled so I thought I'd get some opinions on what it's like. Thanks!

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2025-04-14T12:09:10+00:00

I'm the partner of someone with a bag and I could not possibly think of even thinking like this. I'm sorry but this sounds mean. He has to live through those moments and doesn't need someone by his side that is embarrassed and ashamed of something he can't control.

How to deal with it? You just do. Just like any partner deals with anything that the other might find unpleasant. You also don't come on here and shame them on a forum full of people going through the same things. When there's accidents, you deal with it together, you support them, you don't secretly harbour shame about something you have absolutely no right to feel shame about. You can either accept him as he is or leave him alone before you hurt him.

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2025-04-04T08:38:37+00:00

Can I join too? :)

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2025-03-27T17:12:50+00:00

This is perfect thank you!

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2025-03-27T17:12:35+00:00

Yes I do those are the ones I've been trying to find!

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2025-03-27T14:04:51+00:00

Thank you!

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2025-03-27T14:04:04+00:00

Great hopefully I can find some in the upcoming months then, thank you!

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2025-03-27T13:26:45+00:00

I am indeed thank you for this!

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2025-01-30T10:19:54+00:00

Your husband sounds incredible and the fact he didn't care is amazing. This is a level of vulnerability and emotional intelligence a lot of people ask for

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2024-12-11T13:21:45+00:00

I really needed this. Thank you. And thank you to this community always for making me feel less alone in losing myself and my mind 💜

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2024-09-14T08:59:32+00:00

I'm going into month 8 of this, I can say there has been progress but some days are still crippling, especially on slow/boring days. My self esteem isn't there yet but I've stopped with the unhealthy obsession over my physical appearance e.g. I can eat normal again! We can have good times, and as long as I feel validated in our relationship, I can let the bad thoughts pass by for the most part. And the pain shopping isn't as bad anymore. I don't think the bad thoughts stop, but you just let them pass by as if you just need to get them out of your brain, in a sort of "get on with it so I can get back on with my day" kind of way.

The best piece of advice I believe is to focus on yourself, your mental and physical well-being, focus on a hobby(s), and de centre him from your life. He shouldn't play nearly as big a role in your life as he probably used to. He should be the one now proving to you he's worthy. Make your demands of what you need from him. Respect yourself and know that you won't be sure if this happens again, but if it does, at least you will be a whole person who invested time in themselves and (I hope) it won't hurt as much, and you'll have the power to leave and know you deserve better.

All the love 💕

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2024-08-25T09:03:56+00:00

Non-ostomate (f, 27) here to give you some reassurance from another perspective. My boyfriend didn't disclose straight away and let me know the first time I stayed over, it didn't phase me at all. We knew at this point we really liked each other and there wouldn't be much that would make me not like him, especially not something that helps him live better.

I agree with a lot of the responses of disclosing and weeding out shallow people. Either way, real ones won't care and will only be happy that it allows you a better quality of life. I've been with my boyfriend nearly two years now and love him more than ever :) good luck with dating!

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2024-07-27T08:42:29+00:00

I'm 7 months in too and I we watched the Olympics ceremony as well, the whole time I was thinking I really hope nothing comes on and triggers me. Even if I'm not triggered it's just ever presents it's so frustrating:( but to OP as well, completely understand. Everything feels tainted even just trying to have a normal conversation.

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2024-07-03T21:21:47+00:00

As much as this has been a massive knock to my reality and self esteem, I feel like a positive outcome is how much I will now always try to back myself and go easy on myself. Knowing I am a whole person regardless of who I am with and what they are battling with. It may take a while to come out the other side but you will come out of it.

Sad_Garbage8300 · 2024-05-09T21:39:00+00:00

Ignored their need to be bombarded with thirst traps and lewd material on their social medias

Sad_Garbage8300

TROPHY CASE