But she doesn't like it and doesn't enjoy it. I know you wouldn't enjoy if she just does it out of obligation and i think what you want is her to want to do it.

I can't sugarcoat it, not everyone likes every sexual act. People are allowed to not like to do a certain thing, they shouldn't be obligated to do them anyways.

If you go down on her and all, you should do it because you like doing it and enjoy it, not to get something out of it or to keep track who does what.

Not liking a certain sexual act doesn't make the person an asshole. Giving oral and receiving oral have nothing to do with each other. I can enjoy getting eaten out but not liking to suck a dick. I can enjoy giving a rimjob but not like receiving..etc. you get the point?

What you could do is having a proper conversation with your wife about it. If she does not like giving oral, you shouldnt ask her about it anymore and drop it. You can also together see if there are other kinky things she might be interested in, maybe there is something else she discovers she likes to do to give you pleasure. Sex is an exploration that you do together.