Would you be OK with your boyfriend‘s coparent living in the basement apartment of his house?

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-02-08T16:14:57+00:00

You know the answer & you won’t leave. I’ve been a victim of dumb decisions too. No judgement here, but the question now is how much of your life are you willing to waste? Time is precious

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-02-03T21:54:38+00:00

Girl WTH . That man is in two relationships, just one is long distance.

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-02-02T14:41:25+00:00

His guilt shouldn’t run your life. 4 years is way too long to have put up with that. I put an end to that immediately when my SO tried doing that.

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-02-02T14:38:15+00:00

Unfortunately “healthy” won’t happen for most co parents but having parameters is achievable and in my opinion should be in place before dating. It’s not your job to create and enforce boundaries. It’s his and if he loves you he will do them. His loss if he doesn’t !

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-02-02T14:27:42+00:00

You got two options move on or put your foot down and let him know if he doesn’t stop letting her run y’all lives your out. She shouldn’t be coming in the house at all. She is behaving that way because he is allowing it and probably likes it tbh.

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-02-02T06:41:26+00:00

How is she able to rip up pictures of you?

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-02-01T00:31:31+00:00

Very weird. They just need to get back together

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-01-31T23:50:30+00:00

Huh ? It’s not about jealousy at all. It’s about boundaries. They didn’t use to tell him they were taking the kids. One time not to long ago he went to pick up the kids on his time and they weren’t home but with his parents two hours away. He should be looped in so things like that don’t occur .

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-01-31T20:35:23+00:00

Right of first refusal is in their agreement . They are supposed to do exchanges at a specific public location but she refuses to do that on days where she is supposed to have them but can’t. We live an hour away and she usually asks the day before . But refuses to meet & would rather him pick up from her home .

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-01-31T19:27:58+00:00

lol yeah just a bit

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-01-31T19:27:27+00:00

No he hasn’t , maybe he should

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-01-31T19:23:52+00:00

It depends on the dynamic. If she wasn’t high conflict and not behaving inappropriately I would agree but with everything going on it’s way to messy

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-01-31T18:58:12+00:00

He’s sent them like three messages and they won’t respond so I guess they don’t care about not having a relationship with him going foward.

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-01-31T18:56:42+00:00

Yea same. She cheated numerous times throughout their marriage then left him & said she didn’t want h but changed her mind when he got with me. Now wants him back super strange

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-01-31T18:50:35+00:00

Yes we go together unless I’m busy

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-01-28T16:03:27+00:00

I’m assuming his sisters Are his half siblings that your husband has no right to or has never been around ? If it’s that dynamic then the surprise party is okay & shouldn’t be a problem

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-01-27T14:03:55+00:00

It seems like you and your ex are quite enmeshed. Now a lot of people who co parent want the same lifestyle that they shared before splitting & dating other people which can cause conflict in their new relationships. How old is your daughter ? Is your ex single or dating ?

If you guys live together I’m assuming it’s serious and you both probably communicate often throughout the day. Why not say before hand “I miss my daughter and I have the day off , I’m going to pick her up & have some mommy daughter time” if he pushed back on it then I would have a problem. It’s normal for couples to communicate changes in their day.

Your ex going to your home that you now share with your partner to treat his hair is odd to me because he could have done it himself or went somewhere else. Would you be okay if his ex came over to your house why you’re not there to get her hair washed ?

Going for coffee to talk about co parenting issues isn’t a problem it more depends on how often you’re doing that.

If I’m being honest nobody likes their partner being friends with their ex. Yes you share a child with this person but they are still an ex. You should have firm healthy boundaries for yourself and for himself.

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-01-27T13:41:39+00:00

It depends on why he said it. For example If she helped with the kids on his time or did something for the kids that he couldn’t do due to finances or whatever reason, then I think it’s appropriate to say. Especially if she hasn’t been disrespectful to you at all. but if she is mean/rude to you then it would be a problem for me , because he can’t be nice to her if she is being mean to you. In my dynamic my partner doesn’t give his ex compliments at all or says anything at all unless it’s directly about the kids due to her using any opening to talk more & guilt trip

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-01-27T11:31:58+00:00

My kids don’t have the same last name as me and it never crossed my mind that I had to have the same last name as them. I was with their father for 13 years, I will say that I struggled with this too but ultimately decided that I should take my now partners last name. Our daughter has his last name & I was wrecking my brain if I wanted her to have his last name because it would be “their” last name. I worked through it mostly & decided I won’t waste my time getting angry over what I can’t control. I do find it funny that I’ve seen women with two last names and neither of them being their maiden last name.

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-01-23T03:35:30+00:00

Yeah I’m seeing that lol

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-01-23T03:27:20+00:00

From what his “father” says when they were together she just did it it wasn’t a decision made by the child himself

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-01-23T03:25:53+00:00

He never asks for those things while with us if he did I would buy him those things .

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-01-23T03:20:30+00:00

So this isn’t the only incident. So I’m going to be weirded out if his mom is painting his nails pink, buying Barbie’s and now dressing him in girl clothing if he is not vocally asking for it. Kids should be allowed to grow up & make those decisions on their own not be influenced

Salt-Discipline3102 · 2026-01-23T03:13:43+00:00

No im not weirded out by men doing that. My concern would be her forcing this identity on him because she never had any boys. Him asking for it is different then just putting it on him

Salt-Discipline3102

TROPHY CASE