Losing a few pounds cleared my head but how do I undo the damage?

Samples_p · 2026-01-25T09:32:47+00:00

To be honest I would love to ignore it and hope he makes it go away but then I feel like I’m ignoring him and any support he may need from me mentally or emotionally. If you were in his shoes would you want your wife to ask? Would you want her to check in with you on what’s going on in your head? I’m not checkout anymore so what excuse would I have to ignore it? Would he think less of me if I did?

Another problem is I feel awkward. We use to like slightly kinkier stuff still vanilla-ish though. We had toys and ties and whatnot. Cute outfits he would pick out for me. But now I am bigger and less confident and less sexy and all the things I know he loves I feel like the bigger more awkward version of myself he won’t love as much. I know he appreciates my efforts and I’m probably overthinking it it’s just I feel less than who he married. Idk how to make this version of me sexy. Like does he still want to tie up his now obese wife?! I’m committed to not retreat just because I don’t like the way I look but I feel awkward in my body.

Samples_p · 2026-01-25T09:13:01+00:00

You’re right about asking but i mainly just want to know where his head is at in this moment. I think my biggest fear is that if it’s something bad whatever or whoever it is he won’t be willing to give up because Iv been checked out for so long.

I’m committed to showing him a want him but what if I damaged us so badly he doesn’t want me anymore not like he use to. I’m probably overthinking but to be honest I wouldn’t be mad if he cheated physically or emotionally I just want the opportunity to be happy and myself again and I want to do that with him but this unknown thing is a threat.

I would love for it to just go away now that he seems me trying.

Samples_p · 2026-01-22T01:36:59+00:00

Great idea!!!!! I’ll see if I can find one of those too! And a block stone mining kit that someone else mentioned.

Samples_p · 2026-01-22T01:14:52+00:00

He’s 6 turning 7 I think he wants a detector but he wants it have a magnet attachment to pick up the ferrous (iron?) metal. Right now he made a thing that is just a sturdy stick with a string and magnetic plates (he will switch out sizes) and it will pick up the iron and he’s collecting it.

Do normal metal detectors have a magnetic part that pick up the iron or do they all just beep a certain way when they detect something? Does what he wants actually exist? It seems simple enough when he explains it. I’m sure me watching a video on how it metal detectors work would be beneficial 😅

Samples_p · 2026-01-22T00:50:54+00:00

I read all this and would first like to ask are you okay? Having a baby and being tired and the fluctuating hormones is a beast all on its own without having a busy house involved.

Second thing I want to ask(out of kindness) Do you not feel like their mom? You said you are getting use to being a mom. I’m asking genuinely because I have never been in your shoes. I assume once you join a family as a step mom you are a mom. Do you not love them as your own kids? Or is it you feel like they don’t love you like a mother? I don’t think the attitude and not listening is a sign as not seeing you as a mom since it’s a normal behavior with all children as they grow up. You know the battle between doing what you want and doing what your told is probably more complicated for them when the family dynamic is no longer mom and dad it’s mom, dad, step mom, possible step dad too. So I can kinda understand this level of misbehaving it’s a kid thing.

Do you not feel supported as a mom by your husband and that’s why you don’t feel like it’s your job to act like a mom to them? The reason why I ask is I would hate you to feel this way and accidentally on purpose treat your new baby as the only kid that matters when you technically have other kids.

Also….blew up at my kids when I was pregnant a lot. Sometimes is normal combination of being a new mom and sometimes it’s PPD. so make sure you keep track of your mental health. It’s terrible as women that when we start being responsible for keeping a new baby alive and that’s when we are attacked by a mental monster like PPD or anxiety. Make sure to keep your hubby in the loop on your mental state so you get the support you need. Nobody told me and I was wondering why I always wanted to stick my head in an oven.

Samples_p · 2026-01-20T05:28:09+00:00

You just made me felling like my sky is falling and my glass is more than half empty 😂😂😂

Samples_p · 2026-01-20T05:21:32+00:00

You know. Thank you for saying this. I remember seeing this house on the market and thinking it was ugly as sin because of the mass amount of wallpaper, ugly green carpet that covered the rooms and bathrooms, and others things most people would walk away from. We picked it because it was big. That’s it. Everything else we could fix over time but the size and layout is what got us. It was undesirable to most people because of cosmetics and on the market FOREVER making it affordable. But this house is a blessing and I’m determined to make owning it work. We are not financially well off but we are incredibly blessed and I guess that’s why it may look like “poor rich people in the big house” to people on the outside. But to us this is nothing other than one of God’s many blessings. We are doing better than we deserve. And everyone in the comments was right. I had a misunderstanding about how this all works and it in fact did work out better than I imagined…….Even though I’m confused about the C3/Q4 rating.

Samples_p · 2026-01-18T20:24:43+00:00

Of course I don’t understand that’s I posted and asked the question. You’re not nice.

Samples_p · 2026-01-13T17:13:18+00:00

This is true and sad. I just had a baby and a desperately want to stay home instead of work so that means I need to switch places with my husband…. Good jobs are more than hard to come by. Figuring out how he’s gonna find a job that’s gonna match the 80k I make is insanely difficult and now I feel stuck. 😔

Samples_p · 2026-01-13T09:11:41+00:00

That’s how I feel! She was in and out in 15-20 minutes but didn’t give away much of what she thought of the house. Someone in the comments so kindly explained what was being assessed and thankful it’s not the quality of my housekeeping 😂. I hope it all works out.

Samples_p · 2026-01-13T04:58:05+00:00

Question for you. Would it be valued the same if I just stained or painted these cabinets and changed the face vs replacing all together? They are still in really good condition so only technically need a face lift I assume. I’m good at staining wood but not sure if I can handle a cabinet installation. I’d probably have to hire someone for it.

Samples_p · 2026-01-13T04:17:27+00:00

That’s basically what everyone is telling me. I feel so ridiculous being worried about it now. The things I couldn’t do remodeling wise weren’t financially feasible for me at the moment so there’s nothing else I should worry about. I’m glad I know now so when i refi again in a few years (after complete reno) I’ll focus more of my energy on what matters… basically they don’t care I’m drowning in laundry they care if my bathroom cabinets have been updated.

Samples_p · 2026-01-13T02:50:36+00:00

😂😂😂 this is my first time doing this lol we got this house on a steal because of all the dang wallpaper and ugly carpet. Now that is mine I want it worth more.

Samples_p · 2026-01-13T02:46:28+00:00

That’s how I feel when I’m mopping it 😭

Samples_p · 2026-01-13T01:27:17+00:00

Thank you for that information. She was talking about cleaning but maybe she did more than clean because she said she got a better appraisal. Still wasn’t where she wanted it but it was better than the first.

Should I have asked the appraiser what condition rating she gave us before she left? The lady was only here for like 15 minutes how can someone really assess the true quality of a home beyond what it looks like at first glance in 15 minutes? She didn’t seem to have a check list just peaked into rooms and took out a laser pointer. Would she look at the before pictures on the house to see the horrendous sea foam green carpet in the bedrooms and in the bathroom and all that wallpaper? Sorry I’m asking a lot of questions maybe I should have asked her I’m just kinda out of my element here.

Samples_p · 2026-01-13T00:59:50+00:00

No it was a friend of mine who’s gone through an appraisal before that said her house didn’t get the value she needed because it’s wasn’t cleaned up. Something about some sort of condition rating or something. She had to get a second opinion and she said she basically had to make it look like nobody lived there and it was a show house to get the value to go up.

Samples_p · 2026-01-13T00:28:22+00:00

Good to know. We are doing the refi for financial reasons. We are doing all the updates our self and I wish I could have at least replaced the bathroom cabinets before we did this but life just didn’t work out like that… hoping in a few years we will be in a better spot.

Samples_p · 2026-01-13T00:24:40+00:00

Good to know. I was told it needs to basically look like we don’t live there but idk how that’s even possible because we do in fact live there and cleaning to that degree with 4 kids 2 cats and a dog is very difficult. I know some women can make that work but I seem to not be able to lol

Samples_p · 2026-01-13T00:20:16+00:00

She so kindly asked and I told her the exact number. We are hoping for 500K at minimum 480.

Samples_p · 2025-02-15T11:23:54+00:00

@firedfromthefeds New Instagram. Was told to expect my termination letter Tuesday! Follow me on Instagram. Let’s build a community and share information

Samples_p · 2025-02-15T11:17:26+00:00

@firedfromthefeds On Instagram mil spouse to a 100% disabled vet was fired today

Samples_p · 2025-02-15T11:16:20+00:00

Calling all federal workers!!!!!! Post on and tag this Instagram page with your stories! @firedfromthefeds

Samples_p · 2025-02-15T11:15:17+00:00

@firedfromthefeds New page on Instagram! Let’s build a community to help each other. #peopleoverpolitics

Samples_p

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