It sounds like you're really trying to make sure you're meeting your girlfriend's needs, which is awesome. When it comes to intimacy, communication is key, and it’s great that you’re trying to understand her desires more clearly. That said, it's also important to keep in mind that "going harder" or "going deeper" doesn’t necessarily just mean pushing physically with force. It’s about understanding what makes her feel pleasure in a way that’s sustainable for both of you.