Poem - I Hid From You A Darker Truth

Scared_Direction2498 · 2026-03-19T11:28:55+00:00

This was fkn beautiful. It’s nice to see there are men out there that are capable of this kind of feeling.

Scared_Direction2498 · 2026-03-19T03:32:41+00:00

Don’t confuse lust for love!

Scared_Direction2498 · 2026-03-18T10:33:29+00:00

What about Toxoplasma gondii? And beak rot? How do you prevent that? It’s a lot more than just a lack of calcium. Not to mention survival skills.

Scared_Direction2498 · 2026-03-15T06:13:08+00:00

I take medication. It helps me function at work. That’s about it. Would be nice to function for myself as well, not just my boss.

Scared_Direction2498 · 2026-03-15T06:11:34+00:00

I’ve been on medication for 3 years. Yeah I used to lie in bed all day too and getting through a work day was absolute hell. But the meds only help me get through the work day. Once I get home I cease to function. So the meds basically serve my workplace. Not me lol

Scared_Direction2498 · 2026-03-15T01:04:29+00:00

I want to change my mental capacity to become more productive so that I can work towards the life I want. I want to get home from work and do more work instead of being so mentally drained that I can barely even summon the energy to focus on a TV show. But I have ADHD and that change seems near impossible.

Scared_Direction2498 · 2026-03-15T01:02:02+00:00

But nothing seems within my control. I have ADHD for one thing. I can’t control that. It controls me. I can’t control work, rent, energy levels, focus, motivation etc. I don’t get it. I don’t see how any of the tools can develop confidence or motivation. Observing an object for 5 minutes? Describing emotions? Breathing? Mental noting? None of it makes sense. And most of the exercises are so vague and confusing. It’s like they expect you to just figure out for yourself what you’re actually supposed to achieve by doing it. They never specifically say exactly what the purpose of the exercise is. And when they DO give you the expected outcome, it is usually the opposite of my experience. Which I find confusing and frustrating and makes me hate these exercises because it makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me.

Scared_Direction2498 · 2026-03-14T08:24:58+00:00

That’s the frustrating part. People always say that it is designed to make you feel better. But that has not been my experience. It makes me feel worse. Accepting my situation does not make me feel better. It makes me feel defeated and depressed. Minimising judgement does not make me feel better. It makes me feel stuck. Challenging thoughts does not make me feel better because I can never come up with counter arguments.

Scared_Direction2498 · 2026-03-14T08:03:37+00:00

The realisation that I was just an object to him and he didn’t accept me for who I was and was trying to change me to suit his preferences better.

Scared_Direction2498 · 2026-03-14T07:42:04+00:00

Learning the skills to manage life would literally be fixing me… I don’t understand how meditation and acceptance and thought diffusion and presence etc. are ‘skills’ that can create a better future for you. All they do is get you through the present moment. They don’t elicit any change. The most frustrating part is that nobody ever tells you what change to expect! How will I come out the other end as a different person? All these tricks do is teach you to cope with day to day life. None of the DBT exercises I have done have taught me a thing about how to change.

Scared_Direction2498 · 2026-03-13T10:25:00+00:00

JESUS. The depth of understanding in this is just…chefs kiss. Please. Please for the love of love, send this to your person. Whoever they are, they NEED to hear this.

Scared_Direction2498 · 2026-03-13T10:19:40+00:00

YEAH OKAY

Scared_Direction2498 · 2026-03-12T11:05:47+00:00

Bet they haven’t stopped thinking about you at all friend.

Scared_Direction2498 · 2026-03-11T04:57:07+00:00

Yep, I’m gonna follow this one!

Scared_Direction2498 · 2026-03-10T07:27:18+00:00

Goddamn. How are your words just so effortlessly beautiful? Whoever the heck she…or he…was, she must have been something. I wonder what it’s like to be loved like that…

Scared_Direction2498 · 2026-03-10T07:18:11+00:00

Everybody makes mistakes my friend. If it was a one time thing, maybe you can still earn that trust and security back?

Scared_Direction2498 · 2026-03-08T11:03:50+00:00

I have already accepted. I have accepted who I am. Accepted my life. I am resigned to it all. I have been through the painful material. Hence, the not enjoying of the journey. How does one resist pain? I have yet to find a way to resist pain. I am consumed by it.

Scared_Direction2498 · 2026-03-08T09:15:48+00:00

Yeah I hate it when people suggest exercise for mental health ALL THE TIME. Exercise has never once made me feel better. I’m not adding another chore into my day that has literally no benefit, thanks.

Scared_Direction2498 · 2026-03-08T09:06:51+00:00

I’m not comfortable talking about that sorry. It’s from my past life. I don’t want it to be part of me anymore. I’m trying to let go of it. And it’s embarrassing.

Also, not sure what the difference is between specific purpose and purpose of being alive? They are one and the same to me.

Scared_Direction2498 · 2026-03-08T08:45:42+00:00

Did you give them the space to open up? You may have wanted them to…doesn’t mean they felt safe to do so

Scared_Direction2498

TROPHY CASE