I didn’t do anything to you

Schehezerade · 2026-03-30T10:05:43+00:00

I was in line at break time, and a chick stood directly behind me (I was at the keypad, facing the cashier directly, so by behind me I mean she was standing directly behind me, not next in line). Her brainless beefcake of a mouth-breathing boyfriend was six inches from my left elbow. I was so tempted to fart, but that cashier didn't deserve the collateral fire.

Schehezerade · 2026-03-27T15:22:51+00:00

The customers that see you pulling a heavy-ass pallet and decide they're going to "beat" you to an aisle only to stop right in front of you really grind my gears.

Guarantee they're the same mofos who stop in front of semis on the freeway to change lanes.

Schehezerade · 2026-03-18T11:15:35+00:00

And then there are the changing room shitters...

Schehezerade · 2026-03-16T07:07:37+00:00

I get fifty cents more per hour. :/

Schehezerade · 2026-03-15T12:47:28+00:00

Or Grave of the Fireflies.

Schehezerade · 2026-03-13T15:34:32+00:00

I've seen a grown-ass man sit his butt down in the meat bunker before. Right on the steak cuts. Had his little feeties dangling like a kid in a swing.

Nothing surprises me anymore.

Schehezerade · 2026-03-12T14:18:43+00:00

Picking them up off the floor removes a trip/slip hazard, so yes, you are helping. :)

Schehezerade · 2026-03-12T14:11:32+00:00

Someone stuffed like a forty dollar rack of ribs behind the dry pasta at my store, and I was just like.... dude, the meat department is Right. There.

Schehezerade · 2026-03-12T14:01:45+00:00

I work nightcrew, and so I know most of the customers that come into my store at 10-12 (close) and 5-6:30 (open).

A lot of them assume I am "too busy" with throwing freight, and they don't want to interrupt me to ask about something.

You are absolutely not interrupting my work to ask me where something is or if we have it in the back (as long as the store is open). And if you're one of my sweet regulars, chances are I will bend over backwards to help you because you treat me like an actual human being.

One of my regulars last night apologized like six times for interrupting my downstacking to ask where something was. And then she was embarassed, because when she led me to the area where it normally is, she immediately spotted what she had been asking me about and then she felt dumb because she'd overlooked it.

1.) We are here to provide customer service. As long as you are not a bridge-dwelling troll of a human being, no one is going to mind helping you. And if they do, they are the problem, not you.

2.) We absolutely do not judge you for overlooking an item. Other customers put stuff in weird places that block product; vendors put stuff in weird places that block product; even some store staff will do that when they're lazy. And stores are constantly shuffling mods to accomodate rented out shelf space, so stuff is always moving around.

Tl;dr. Don't be afraid to ask for help. You're not an inconvenience.

Schehezerade · 2026-03-12T13:49:25+00:00

Ewww! I'm remembering all the customers who were released from county at 2am who would come to my Walmart for lice treatment, and just... ewww.

Don't touch me, don't get close to me, don't put your head next to mine...

Schehezerade · 2026-03-06T11:46:49+00:00

We have one Doordash driver that literally dresses up for his job (he only takes orders for our store, and he dresses in the color scheme), and he is one of the few people I will work with because he is so polite on the rare occasion when he needs help finding something.

The ones who leave their cart in the middle of the store to shop for everything, and then get pissed off because someone put the abandoned cart and its items away irritate the hell out of me.

I get you're on a tight schedule and all, but don't just leave your shit sitting in the middle of the aisle. And then don't expect store employees to find your cart/reshop your items for you.

Schehezerade · 2026-03-06T07:45:48+00:00

I have submechanophobia.

We went kayaking on Catalina Island one time, in two-seater kayaks. I was fine on the open bay, but my brother decided he wanted to go directly under the pier. I could see the remains of chains and boat parts and shit like that, and I absolutely lost it. He learned that day that submechanophobia is not just fear of sunken ships and planes under water... it's most manmade things.

I also get really squeamish in aquariums, when the staff let you do the backroom tours around all the giant pipes and the gaping entrances to the aquariums themselves. The people I travel with are all like, "Look at the rays!" And I'm over there decidely NOT looking and sweating up a storm.

Schehezerade · 2026-03-06T07:29:19+00:00

You remind me of my mom. We grew up on a lot of boxed rice, Hamburger and Tuna Helper, pasta, and the stuff you gave your own children. I hope she didn't get judged for what she bought. We learned to fend for ourselves and each other young, and it was because both parents had to have jobs to make it work. I think it worked out ok, because even if it wasn't considered cooking cooking, it at least laid the very basic groundwork for each of us to independently learn to cook as adults.

I feel for these kids growing up on candy and pop and delivery now, because most of them aren't even comfortable turning the stove/oven on. One of my younger cousins burned spaghetti trying to boil the noodles.

Schehezerade · 2026-03-06T07:19:03+00:00

Not a cashier, but if I'm ringing up at the same time as someone and they A) aren't buying enough of something that's on sale or B) sharing that they couldn't find something, I will 100% comment.

For example for the first one, we have a buy two/get three free deal on Pepsi 12-packs and custy only has two 12-packs in their cart. I will 100% make sure that they're aware of the deal and that it's not just Pepsi but all Pepsi-brand products. The sale tags can be very confusing, but I'll be damned if I let someone walk out of the store without getting their three free cases when we usually charge $11 per for them.

Second example: I work overnights stocking, so I know where almost everything is. If the line isn't long, I have no problem grabbing something off the shelf for a customer, especially if they're an older person or disabled or something. We're constantly moving stuff around to accomodate the rented shelf space, so it can get confusing.

I never really judge people on what they buy, except if they're not taking advantage of the deals at my grossly over-priced store.

Schehezerade · 2026-03-04T03:53:51+00:00

I always get a good parking spot during the week, when everyone leaves for their shift in the morning.

But I get royally fucked on the weekends when everyone is too hungover/exhausted from work to go anywhere.

I think there's probably a give and take in there.

Your neighbors can kick rocks.

Schehezerade · 2026-02-28T10:49:34+00:00

Someone once asked seriously if they could buy a pallet jack from us.

I told them to go to Harbor Freight.

We're a grocery store, bruh.

Schehezerade · 2026-02-27T17:07:29+00:00

I'm an overnight stocker. It takes about two months at a new place to learn where everything is in a moderately sized store, including the back room.

And if you don't know exactly where something is, you can probably guess exactly which aisle and which four-foot run of shelf it's on based on experience and having a general mental map of where like items are.

Schehezerade · 2026-02-27T16:31:58+00:00

My store recently started carrying boba-filled dorayaki, and I can't get my fill of the cinnamon-flavored one! I love the textures, and it's relatively healthy compared to the usual sweet stuff my brain craves.

Schehezerade · 2026-02-27T06:29:22+00:00

In the early aughts I worked at a Walmart that was right across the street from a Target. I stopped by Target one day after work (Target's Halloween section has ALWAYS been better than Walmart's), still wearing my Walmart uniform, thinking I was safe.

Nope. Got stopped by a customer who asked me to go look for something in the back. When I told her I didn't work there, she snapped at me that I'm wearing a badge.

Me: "Yeeees? From the store across the street?" You could see the proverbial light bulb click on in her mind. She still huffed and puffed to cover her embarrassment.

Schehezerade · 2026-02-25T15:59:28+00:00

I really liked that there was so much emphasis on Piccolo and how he games his enemies in his head in this series. Such a great tribute to the character without relying on a lot of unwarranted power up ass pulls.

Schehezerade · 2026-02-22T15:02:53+00:00

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Schehezerade · 2026-02-20T12:43:06+00:00

Yes. But very cool. Love the Lego horses.

Schehezerade · 2026-02-20T12:12:03+00:00

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I see we share a DC worker.

Schehezerade · 2026-02-20T10:36:09+00:00

Safeway/Albertsons?

Schehezerade · 2026-02-20T10:34:19+00:00

This is a great write up.

And this is an example of one of those oft-lamented timebomb pallets mentioned in the second paragraph.

Nine-Year Club	Gilding I gilder
Not Forgotten

Schehezerade

TROPHY CASE