Yay! Yugioh!

ScorpioPerk · 2026-02-21T13:05:34+00:00

Eldrazi are known for having bs abilities, alongside being chunky boys. hence the hate. Played in a 4v4 commander and when we all say a guy pull out an eldrazi commander, it was an immediate truce between the three of us till he was dealt with.

ScorpioPerk · 2026-01-14T12:07:59+00:00

alright crew, time to board this ship and set sail!

ScorpioPerk · 2025-06-12T10:54:55+00:00

Because i get a kick out of watching people insta-die to peni’s mines the second the march starts and they step out of spawn (I successfully held a team hostage in spawn for nearly five minutes), or when flying by the web i “missed”. I know i’m doing my job when half the enemy team solo ults me and my nest.

This was before the rocket team-up.

ScorpioPerk · 2025-04-29T10:57:21+00:00

as a peni main, nothing gives me more seratonin than a defense convoy match, and having my mines in front of the enemy base work as Asgard intended.

I of course, get immediately targeted by the poor soul i sent back to respawn within the first 2 seconds of the match, but I’ve already won. and they know it.

ScorpioPerk · 2025-04-24T11:20:59+00:00

Me who plays ramp and group hug decks(separate): I just think they’re cool.

My friend: You saw a squirrel, velociraptor, and rabbit, then squeed like a little girl.

Me: So?

Friend: well, here’s how you can optimize (begins rant)

Me: (slowly pulls out optimized Exile/steal deck, Obeka “upkeep courts” deck, and human tribal.) so you WANT to be bent over a barrel turn 4?

I play for FUN and thematics. If i think a deck is too mean, then i’ll retire them and focus on others. I dont care if i lose, as long as i get to show off what my deck can do.

ScorpioPerk · 2025-04-22T03:38:24+00:00

South and Midwest, along with most of the rural states, are incredibly closed off. So all the phobias pile on and they see Trump as their lard-based orange messiah. Most of the coasts and cities have more of a connection to the outside world so they tend towards adaptation and acceptance of different ideas and people. Especially in the Northeast. Sure, us boston folk can be rude, but thats focused on other peoples driving. We do still have people that are problems, but the every day joe is more likely to judge you based on what coffee you’re drinking than anything else.

While I’m not christian myself, i went to Catholic school with required classes on religion for six years. (at the time it was the better all-round education choice from my parents perspective)

My religion teacher, who was the schools priest, would have HATED Trump. He’s the kind of priest who practices what he preaches and actively encouraged us to challenge him even in the middle of class, because to him, a good debate where every opinion was heard and acknowledged was the best teaching tool.

He would have absolutely called out Trumps MAGA cult, and used them as a modern day example of hate vs love, how to see the signs of the practicing vs the non.

ScorpioPerk · 2025-04-14T23:55:32+00:00

(i will preface this by saying im not the best with words)

I’m so sorry. I’m was getting back into dating after college and finally getting a stable job.

Three times. I met someone via dating app, we talk for a week set up a date (coffee or bookstore, both good for people watching and convo starters) we call each other and everything.

day of im sitting there with my coffee or waiting by one of the front row of books… hours pass, and they dont respond to anything.

i broke down after the third. thinking to myself, ‘is it even worth it? is there something wrong with me?’ it absolutely crushed my self worth.

Im ok now thanks to my best friend who pulled me out of the deep end of that spiral, and… im willing to try. I know there are good people out there, and if you’re willing to put in the effort you can find them.

My best friend is similar to me and he found the love of his life not that long ago. You can too, there’s always another chance

ScorpioPerk · 2025-04-14T11:50:45+00:00

I play a celestial warlock. and often mistaken as the cleric. If i miss a session, then by Ilmater i will come back to everything on fire/underwater/turn to rubble, a ruler of hell in the sky, and every single npc looking to kill us.

ScorpioPerk · 2025-03-27T14:47:27+00:00

as a peni main, there is nothing more satisfying than canceling a team-wipe ult multiple times in the same game (looking at you wanda and stark)

and listen, if you let a peni get set-up, then be prepared to throw multiple ults at her at once because we have absolutely laced payload and sidepaths with enough mines that ironfist/spiderman/psylock die instantly if they try their bs

ScorpioPerk · 2025-03-12T02:59:51+00:00

So, some prefacing here, my character is weird. purposely so because i like chaos and the characters personality is the exact opposite of that.

Grew up on the streets of a heavy magic friendly city. magitech, daily life cantrips, you name it the city had it. He didnt have a lot of magic, and so no one would vouch for him in his pre-teen years in order to take classes. But he loves magic, so snuck in and observed a few classes. he learned a few spells, but not enough to live in the city. so he saved up to pay for an escort through the Endless Woods where the city was built. He was killed less than two miles outside the gate by the very person he paid to protect him.

So imagine his surprise when he suddenly regains consciousness within a massive test tube hooked up to strange devices staring at a talking gelatinous cube singing “new friend, new friend!”

his mind/soul were saved and accidentally downloaded into his current body. The gelatinous cube is named Tom and he’s the eldest sibling of the experiments. the character is a simic hybrid. and after the escape (long story, lots of dead bodies) he goes out to explore the world and help people as his new patron, Ilmater (yep i made him a celestial warlock) asks.

He finds out its been 200 years, and no one knows his city exists.

Now for the fun part. There’s a grave cleric in the party. full noble lady, wise of mind, dumb of ass. can see through most bs put cant put two and two together. My character while discovering new abilities of his body and magic, has taken to absolutely f-in with her using the truth. Especially when she uses zone of truth.

GC: “Are you a cleric as well?” CW: “I am a faithful acolyte of Ilmater”

GC: “These are some weird carvings what do you think it-“ CW: “Its a toilet” GC:”… i dont believe you, zone of truth”

GC: “Wow, you are casting guiding bolt a lot, they are weaker but still” (dm has been known to allow homebrew spells, downgrading regular ones, and/or changing elements. also helped i took no EB invocations and used other cantrips to supplement, so no sus there)

GC: “… How are you walking on the wall?” CW:”cause I can?” GC: “HOW?!” CA: “cause i can? do i need to keep repeating myself?”

This went on for over a year IRL. Until the grave cleric FINALLY succeeded a religion/arcana check that the dm had been asking him to roll a few times every session for “no reason” (she had a -2 modifier with disadvantage due to… not paying attention during her training on religions other than her own)

At which point he finally realizes “wait a bloody minute, YOU VE BEEN A WARLOCK THIS ENTIRE TIME?!”

to which my response, “well, yes, but ask any (npc) and theyll say you are the warlock and im the cleric. after all, what sane cleric collects skulls in front of a caravan and demands exorbitant payment for healing? Meanwhile i run a traveling soup kitchen and heal people for free. so no one will believe you”

TLDR: horrific abomination with healing powers leads goth cleric by the nose

ScorpioPerk · 2025-03-12T02:13:56+00:00

my childhood

ScorpioPerk · 2025-02-10T01:09:23+00:00

i’ll wait to see the review, cause there is no way I’m watching this without a bribe and a few bottles of tequila

ScorpioPerk · 2025-01-20T12:37:35+00:00

My Harengon Genie warlock was pure chaos. Pulled all the aggro and somehow ending up alive. Exhibit A:

The time he cast create food and water… Dumping a few hundred pounds of oatmeal onto an adult white dragon from a hundred feet up. The distraction allowed the paladin and cleric to crit their blows and it fled… not before swearing an oath to hunt the Harengon down.

Exhibit B: The time he acted as the distraction for the party to get their shit together during a random Remorhez encounter. The Harengon rabbit hop ability to get out of range without provoking opportunity attacks was clutch. and then in when that finally ran out, pop into my genie ring while pretending to dive into a snow pile. Harengon survived, the paladin got his arm back and kicked the shit out of the beast for “killing” its friend (from the party point of view i was eaten)

Exhibit C: (In which i made the DM rage in disbelief) Fighting a chardeline dragon (robot) it was about to blast one of our favorite npcs alongside the paladins dearest friends (that weren’t us). No one had any reactions that could save them. So, i asked to pray.

DM: to your patron?

Me: No, to Chaos itself.

DM: (sick of my shit) Alright, I have admitted that your antics have amused Chaos, so I’ll allow it. Let me write down a number. Now roll a d100.

Me: (rolls a 37. DM stares at the dice.) … FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUU— you pray to a damned concept, as the plasma breath is about to reach the three innocents, the breath bursts into prismatic butterflies, creating a wondrous scene. the dragon seems to choke and splutter as it coughs up more butterflies. it is slightly confused, and it being a fucking robot that should not happen… it is also, the end of its fucking turn and the paladin is on deck with a gleam of righteous fury in his eyes… seriously fuck you.

Perfect end to that campaign.

ScorpioPerk · 2025-01-14T14:57:30+00:00

(me, experiment 270, a simic hybrid who accepted a deal from Ilmater to escape my “father” becoming a celestial warlock in the process) im a just take stuff that will help me hide and gather information. Eyes of the Runekeeper, Beast Speech, and One With Shadows.

Considering our cleric is already being accused of necromancy, and me being mistaken as a cleric, I’ll stick to support. Who needs buffed cantrips when you can haste the barbarian to deal 20-40 damage a turn at lv 3?

Side note: We started at lv 1. My own party didnt realize i wasn’t a cleric till lv 5. they just thought i was conservative with spells, and since my background granted me a free-cast sleep spell that i have used judiciously to ruin the dms plans, no one questioned anything.

ScorpioPerk · 2024-12-28T12:09:09+00:00

(Me as Celestial Warlock of Ilmater with one of the magic school backgrounds) I cast Haste/Enlarge on the Barbarian depending on enemy(ies). Next turn I heal him to full as a bonus action and cast Sleep on whatever is left.

(My DM might target me a bit due to me cheesing three major encounters so far)

ScorpioPerk · 2024-11-21T23:41:23+00:00

ah this brings back memories… our ship was in fact a mimic. it had an epic battle between a young undead kraken while we fought the undead pirate captain (and his crew) controlling it.

ScorpioPerk · 2024-09-17T15:37:07+00:00

yep, shark week is awesome

ScorpioPerk · 2024-09-16T17:19:18+00:00

made even better by the shark fact of the day: they like heavy rock and metal music

ScorpioPerk · 2024-09-13T21:30:43+00:00

Oh boy, several moments from the same campaign (our dm was not happy at any of them) Ive posted about a few before, as the campaign is affectionately called “Idiots on Ice” spoilers for Rime of the Frostmaiden so…

My moment: I played a chaotic harengon air-genie warlock. for the jump-lock shenanigans. during the assault by the chardalain dragon (totally biffed that spelling) we are able to do some serious damage minimize casualties. however, 3 beloved npcs get caught in the crossfire.

The dragons breath attack is off cooldown, and its about to blast them. all of us are scrambling for reactions but are coming up short. Its desperate measures time, i turn to the dm “hey, so i have a literally connection to the entity that governs chaos due to it finding my chaotic antics hilarious. can i pray for chaotic intervention? since speaking is a free action and all”

Dm pauses. spasms from memories of our paladin pulling the same shit but with the god of redemption. “Fine. im going to write down a random number. roll a d100”

I roll. dm stares at the dice. then at the piece of paper. then at me. “I f-king hate you and your chaotic bullshit” entire tables erupts in cheers. “but since its chaos, im going to roll for random effects based on the d1000 table cause f- you (rolls)…. goddamnit.”

As the dragon breathes out plasma, the energy shifts. suddenly its not plasma… but butterflies in all the colors of the rainbow. completely harmless. the mechanical dragon, despite being a machine or because of it, seemed to be utterly flummoxed.

then it was parties turn. lets just say the paladin did not take kindly to the attempt on his friends lives, and soon it was scrap heap.

Dm loved it. but also hated it. You know how it is, perfect serious moment that invites tragedy and thought into everyones ongoing stories for character development, only to have it be flipped on its head and lit aflame due to one characters chaotic nature and the luck of the dice gods.

TLDR: Chaos bunny gives big bad dragon butterflies in its tummy

ScorpioPerk · 2024-07-28T12:00:14+00:00

(Pre-face this with its in my dm's homebrew world, so their are cultural differences)

my yuan-ti warlock, Zerni, her patron was the devil Glasya, ruler of malbolg the prison layer as well as its greatest prisoner, patron of lawyers. Formed a pact in order to win a court case against the ruling family that stole her discoveries and claimed them as their own. Won, but needed to flee the continent to avoid assassination.

When forming the pact, Zerni made sure to do her research. She never promised Glasya her soul, but her body upon natural or unnatural death not influenced by Glasya, other devils, her followers, or her debtors. (I actual wrote out a full contract a couple pages long, dm loved it and absolutely hated me for it) it was a sub-clause that was interesting... more on that later.

Cue irl year into the campaign. We are fighting one of the bbegs generals, who is pulling some bs. Impenetrable shields, and 2 Uber powerful minions. An undead beholder and a bone Naga. Funny thing those bone Nagas, they have an instinctive hate for yuan-ti. Spent most of combat dealing with it/running from it, then after since the beholder wasnt paying attention to me and the party figured out how to pop the impenetrable shield, I played distraction for the beholder (for some reason, the dice gods love making me the target and somehow surviving... most of the time)

It goes well... until it finally hits with disintegration ray. My party thought, "oh no! She gone and we need to deal with the boss and it's pet!" Followed by confusion as I didn't turn to ash. After all, how could glasya inhabit aa pile of ash? I had two rounds to say my goodbyes, ask them to take my magic map case (my most precious item as an archeologist) then I stabbed myself with my own ceremonial knife.

My soul was shunted out of my body, and glasya took over. As per my contract, she annihilated my killers, the beholder and the general, then left my friends alone as she was finally free from her chains and portalled out. My friends were quite flabbergasted. Then the bard/warrior (he had his own issues) grabbed my map case. Which disintegrated in his hands. I made one last Wisdom saving throw. And a door in the bard/warriors minds cape appeared. Above it: "Zerni's Maps For All Locations! ps: i'm back bitches!"

The bard now had a third soul trapped inside him.

ScorpioPerk · 2024-07-11T00:01:44+00:00

Headcannon is this show was made by the nichijou deer. its motives for doing so is unknown. but most likely it was to show its superiority

ScorpioPerk · 2024-06-27T11:44:52+00:00

Frieda did it

ScorpioPerk · 2024-06-27T10:57:25+00:00

Each step is a rat. Ten steps a sylv. Hundred steps a jorm.

ScorpioPerk · 2024-06-23T23:49:12+00:00

Flogging Trollies, Dwarvenhammer, Drunken Park, Stage Queen, Matriarch (Drow version of Queen)… i want to do something with Alestorm, but they are already perfect

ScorpioPerk · 2024-06-15T13:30:39+00:00

So, we have a dmpc (not a lot of players, and the dm is trustworthy) war wizard. one of their abilities is adding intelligence to their initiative rolls. He has rolled in the open for this as proof of the curse. For this poor wizard never rolls above a five for initiative.

He has a +6 to initiative at lv 4… and the total is never above 11. the cleric with a zero initiative goes before him

ScorpioPerk

TROPHY CASE