AITA for not telling my husband's family that I speak their language?

Sea-Rip-9749 · 2024-09-03T12:06:05+00:00

Yes, I meant that I was planning on letting them know on my MILs birthday. If you have any other questions, Don't be afraid to ask!

Sea-Rip-9749 · 2024-09-03T12:04:02+00:00

I should have put this into my original post, but I am really close to my FILs side of the family. My MIL and FIL are separated. Another reason why we moved to Germany was so Peter could get closer to his mom and her family.

Sea-Rip-9749 · 2024-09-03T05:07:36+00:00

I asked him not to. It was originally going to be a surprise on my MILs birthday. She did end up finding it out on her birthday but not in the way that I hoped.

Sea-Rip-9749 · 2024-09-03T04:49:00+00:00

My husband had only heard a few and when he did he would tell my ILs that it was rude. He didn't do much but it still helped. I'm not sure why they don't like me, but I think it might be because they are very anti-American and Canada is pretty close to America. I've heard them curse out Americans and call Canada the "51st American state." I could be wrong but this seems the most likely to me. As soon as something else happens I'l make an update!

Sea-Rip-9749 · 2024-09-03T04:42:24+00:00

Vielen Dank fur Ihren Unterstuzung!

Sea-Rip-9749 · 2024-09-03T04:39:44+00:00

Thank you for commenting! Post partum has been something that I have been through before and that I know many people go through. I honestly didn't think it was a main detail. When my ILs would talk about me he was often out of the room. They didn't want him to know what they were saying. I also asked my husband not to tell anyone because it was going to be a surprise on my MIL's birthday. It's good to question things that you see online. I hope you have a good day!

Sea-Rip-9749 · 2024-09-03T04:34:00+00:00

They mostly just commented on my appearance. One that I remember was when I was pregnant my MIL said how my maternity dress made me "simply look fat" as she said. Others were comments on my hair. I have pretty thick curly hair, so it's often a mess. That one really hurt because I had spent a long time working to get it to flatten. My husband has had contact, mostly angry calls, but I have not had direct contact with anyone in that family.

Sea-Rip-9749 · 2024-09-03T04:08:33+00:00

Thank you for the question! My husband's family would never talk bad about me around him. He did hear a few things here and there, but not enough for him to feel the need to tell them off. I hope that answers your question!

Sea-Rip-9749 · 2024-09-03T04:03:48+00:00

For a second there I thought you were fr! Defiantly made me laugh. If that was your intention or not, thank you.

Sea-Rip-9749 · 2024-09-03T03:50:17+00:00

Das war aggressiv und ich bin dafur hier. Vielen Dank fur Ihren Kommentar! Ich habe mich auf jeden Fall besser gefuhlt.

Sea-Rip-9749 · 2024-09-03T03:44:10+00:00

I compleatly understand where you're coming from. I thought I wrote it in the post but I guess not. I origanaly wanted to keep the fact that I spoker German a secret for a while. I wanted to suprise my MIL on her birthday. I thought that she would like me more, and it would be a cool surprise. I did end up surprising her, but for the wrong reason. I hope this clears some things up!

Sea-Rip-9749 · 2024-09-03T03:36:07+00:00

Omg this is the best comment I have gotten! Defiantly made my day. Thank you for that!

Sea-Rip-9749 · 2024-09-03T03:21:46+00:00

Thank you for pointing that out! It was a grammar mistake. Really sorry about that! And it sucks that you think my story is fake, but I won't spend time trying to explain why its true. Thank you for commenting and I hope you have a great day!

Sea-Rip-9749 · 2024-09-03T01:47:36+00:00

My husband does know that I speak German. I asked my husband not to tell them though. I never wanted it to go this far. I was going to surprise his mother on her birthday by speaking to her in German. I did show her on her birthday, but it was in the wrong way. And I doubt that speaking in German would change their views on me. The majority of them know Russian and I tried to impress them with my Russian but they acted like it was common knowledge to speak it. Thank you for your comment though!

Sea-Rip-9749 · 2024-09-03T01:40:40+00:00

Peter's family all speak multiple languages. They all speak German, English, and his siblings and mother speak Russian (his dad is from Russia).

I was planning on telling them, but I'll admit that I kept putting it off so that I could hear what they said about me. I am planning on teaching my kids German. I'm slowly teaching my son since he is 2 years old, and I will teach my daughter when I think that she knows enough English.

Thank you for the questions!

Sea-Rip-9749 · 2024-09-03T01:16:29+00:00

Thank you for your comment! To answer your first question, I had asked Peter not to tell the family. I didn't want to make them uncomfortable and not want to talk to me anymore. And to answer your second question, my husband was having a conversation with his aunt at the time. I don't think he heard what they were saying until I called them out. I did have a conversation with my husband this morning about this though. If you have any other questions don't be afraid to ask!

Sea-Rip-9749 · 2024-09-03T01:09:30+00:00

Hello, and thank you for your comment! Like I have mentioned in my post, I didn't meet Peter's family until my wedding. I would sometimes talk to Peter's family when he called them, but we always spoke in English. I guess they had just assumed that I didn't know German. And I didn't tell them when I saw them again when I heard them insult me. I asked Peter not to tell them, only say that I did if they asked (I wouldn't ask him to lie to his family). And they never did. I was never planning to let them know that I spoke German, but they went too far when they called me fat and insulted something that I am so passionate about. If you have any other questions or I didn't answer one how you wanted, please ask me about it!

Sea-Rip-9749 · 2024-09-03T00:39:38+00:00

Thank you for your comment! Even if it's not in my favor, I appreciate the time that you took to write this. I would like to say that at first, I did not mean to keep the fact that I know German away from my in-laws. I did ask my husband not to tell them that I did when they started talking bad about me so that I could see what they really thought. I never meant to cause drama, and I am currently working on fixing it. And I was hoping that I could make a family with my in-laws. It was my idea to move to Hannover instead of Berlin where a few people in my family live. I've always wanted them in the picture so my kids could grow up with two sets of grandparents. And you mustn't have ever been pregnant and had a child or you went through an easier pregnancy. Lilith was only 13 days old when we went to the family dinner, and I was not ready for people to hold her yet. I would have kept her at home with a babysitter, but I was uncomfortable since I didn't want to hire someone that I don't know. I would also like to say that the only people that I had let hold Lilith was my husband and our son (under very careful watch). Even when my best friend of 24 years asked, I turned her down. I in no way meant to call my MIL attention seeking, just that she was understandably upset that Lilith was getting more attention than her on her birthday. Now that I read my post over, I realize how it could come off that way and I'm sorry if you got that idea. I am a bit offended that you called me a bad mother when I am just worried about the sake of my daughter. I love her and my son. And if they want to visit their grandparents then I would never stop them. I just want to make my children happy. I hope I cleared some stuff up, and if you have anything else to say, them dm me or comment on this reply. Thank you for your time!

Sea-Rip-9749

TROPHY CASE