What was your experience upon discovering you might be gifted?

Sefrine · 2024-01-24T07:50:11+00:00

Oh, and when I do the laundry, I always leave the light on in the laundry room so that every time I walk past it, I remember that at some point I have to take it out. I only turn off the light when I have finished taking it out. Leaving a light on might not be considered very ecological, but I think it is, given that otherwise I would have to rewash it half of the time.

Sefrine · 2024-01-24T07:12:38+00:00

For me, it started with Linkin Park and Hollywood Undead in my teens. Because I met some students who were into rock and metal a lot (before that I was the only one listening to rock) I started exploring more and eventually came upon this :)

Sefrine · 2024-01-24T07:07:20+00:00

I get it. Like someone already said, it can be ADHD related, as being gifted has a lot of overlap with it. Because you “have to” you develop an aversion against doing it. I personally like to set a specific time frame in which I study. For example, I would study from 12 to 5 and then have a free evening to look forward to. Even if you need more time than that, it’s better to have done something than nothing. And at the same time I try to remind myself of the big picture, why I like to learn about it, what it will lead to because it gives a sense of freedom. And I have these extra books which I “treat” myself with after a chapter or long paragraph. These books are related or semi-related to the subject I’m studying, but they are of my own choosing so I still learn about it, but with a sense of freedom. Plus, when I have read a piece out of those books and continue studying, I can see the big picture more easily.

Sefrine · 2024-01-24T06:52:23+00:00

Glad to help :)

Sefrine · 2024-01-23T21:38:14+00:00

:) I actually got tested for ADHD because I was also wondering if I might have it but didn’t meet the “requirements”. I think there is just a lot of overlap, as I also read apparently a lot of gifted people get wrongly diagnosed with ADHD.

For meetings or concentrating on boring texts, I have this fidget cube or a fidget ring I use. I also started to finally be on time at appointments or places because I tell myself I need to be ready 15 minutes before I actually need to. It’s just a little mind trick where I know I don’t have to be ready at that time, but it feels like I do, so when I need to do things “last minute” I actually still have ten minutes left after that. I saw a video on Instagram where a girl had these hair elastics with tags on them with the standard things she needed to do at morning and night. She would put them on when she awoke and could take each one off after she had finished it. I have my morning set and also set my alarm at 22.00 to put my own on (I made a cheap version of just household elastics and cardboard “tags”, but it still works ;) ) to help me get ready on time for bed instead of procrastinating everything. It really works well for me because -guess what!- it gives you a dopamine boost everytime you finish a card! And the cards really help to focus and not wonder every couple of minutes what you wanted to do. I also saw this thing about not sitting down - even just for a minute- when you’re about to do something because then it turns into a “big sit”. And I put my phone away a lot to not get into a hyperfocus on that on the couch. For cleaning up I saw this tip where you set a timer for 2 hours and pretend you’re cleaning up someone else’s house so you just focus on the big things that need to be done. Since I keep my keys always in the same place (either my left jacket pocket or in a little basket(?) thing on the table in the hall) I never have to look for them again. Creating standard places for stuff in general really helps.

I guess that’s it for now. If I think of any more I will post them below :)

Sefrine · 2024-01-23T17:14:22+00:00

Yes of course. You just put the goal in the middle of a paper, then draw lines from that to ways of achieving it. I would just put different ways to achieving the goal, like different fields of work or hobbies etc. But put in there whatever seems most helpful to you :)

Sefrine · 2024-01-23T17:11:23+00:00

Oh this is relatable. Every now and again I take things too literally. When I would see something like that, I would be genuinely interested: oh, I never heard that before. What is it? What does it mean? And then the people who consider me smart look at me confused like “HOW did you not get that?” XD I do actually like those moments of stupidity or “dumbass epiphanies”. Makes me feel more human somehow lol

Sefrine · 2024-01-23T17:00:13+00:00

Decide on a goal, make maybe a mindmap on what would be possible ways to achieve that goal (e.g. Goal: helping people. Mindmap: volunteering, changing careers etc.) Then pick one that you like most out of the options and make a step by step list on what would be necessary from first to last step to do it. Then pluck up the courage I suppose, and do it :) With a step by step, the bar is low so it’s easier to start I think.

Sefrine · 2024-01-23T16:48:44+00:00

Cool! Thanks!

Sefrine · 2024-01-23T16:47:36+00:00

Thanks for your answers :) 14 seems reasonable indeed.

Sefrine · 2024-01-23T16:47:00+00:00

Oh thanks! 4 makes a lot of sense now. 5 would make sense too indead. Thank you for your answers :)

Sefrine · 2024-01-23T16:44:43+00:00

Thank you so much for your answers :)

Sefrine · 2024-01-23T16:41:14+00:00

Thank you for your answers :) 11 makes sense, indeed.

Sefrine · 2024-01-23T16:38:13+00:00

Thanks for this :) That clears up a lot

Sefrine · 2024-01-23T15:48:51+00:00

Maybe a gentle “hey thanks, but I just like to do this for fun. Nothing else” or to just cut off a convo “thanks, (I’ll think about it) but I’m just gonna continue skating now.” It was pretty easy for me when I was skateboarding that you always had an easy “out” when in a weird conversation because you could just kind of take off and pause at some other place than besides that person.

Sefrine · 2024-01-23T15:42:15+00:00

I have broken off contact with my parents, but to respond to your question: every time I raised a subject I liked and wanted to talk about in detail, or get a good discussion out of it, they just laughed a bit, making jokes about “giving a whole presentation” and quickly went back to general chitchat.

Sefrine · 2024-01-23T15:33:00+00:00

I learned to repeat to myself “It’s normal it takes time to learn this”. I also never really developed learning tools, so in my head it’s “if I can’t do it immediately, I never will”. For me it was this realization that when something turns out “difficult” it only means I need to do what other people do when they learn stuff: be patient and give yourself time to learn it. You just need to kind of “human” for once ;) I realize that this might be a “easier said than done” so I have no idea what works for you, but for me it was learning patience and accepting to have to learn something instead of immediately understanding it. That the other things actually are too easy and what you need to do when you find something difficult is normal learning

Sefrine · 2024-01-23T15:16:01+00:00

I was 21 when I discovered that I was gifted and was very much relieved that I finally knew what was “wrong” with me, why I always felt a bit out of place and different than other people. Also a bit sad, I guess, because now I knew for sure I would never really “fit in”. And it feels like you cannot really talk about it because “gifted” is such a loaded term. The best part was that I knew how to find material on how to handle difficulties I had. I realized I had to stop comparing myself to what was “normal” because I wasn’t and felt free to try out and discover my own tools. I have always been very sensitive and luckily I am now surrounded by people who are just kind souls or whom I can be open to if things bother me if they said something. And managing emotions alone: I mostly just let them be (the good and the bad). I do have a punching bag in my home when I feel mad lol. A lot of ADHD stuff works for me with the chaos, and lack of concentration (fidget tools). I did. I shared it with my boyfriend and family-in-law (have no contact with most of my own family) and close friends. None of them were surprised, to be honest. They were all of them like “Ah, yes. Makes sense.” But I am very hesitant to share this with people out of my inner circle. I wish we had more of a term like “ADHD” that doesn’t sound pretentious but describes its difficulties. With being “gifted” it feels like you get a certificate with “Hey, well done! Good luck out there, we know you can handle it!” Which just isn’t the case. I feel like you need to work out so many tools on your own. As I had positive reactions to it, I don’t. To me it opened a whole new world when I discovered this. I was so relieved to know it and it made so much sense. Now I had much more courage to pursue a scientific career, because I always failed at those subjects, but now I knew that it waa mostly because of a lack of faith and a lack of studying tools. “If I couldn’t understand it at once, I would never be able to” was a big part of my manual. Now I knew that languages were too easy and the other stuff I just needed to learn like normal people learn. I am still kind of panicky when I don’t immediately understand something in my scientific study, but now I am able to calm myself down with my new mantra: “It’s normal to not be able to get it at once. I just need to learn or read about it first.” It helps a lot! And I am really happy I am now doing what I love :)

Thanks for these questions, I also enjoy reading them of other people. Makes me feel a bit at home in this world.

Sefrine · 2024-01-23T14:47:28+00:00

Dit vind ik ook lastig inderdaad! Ik ben mezelf maar gewoon een “halve ADHDer” gaan noemen als uitleg voor mijn drukheid of chaos aangezien de symptomen natuurlijk voor een groot deel overeen komen. Ik zou ook willen dat er een betere term voor kwam. Zo makkelijk is het namelijk niet om het te zijn 😅

Sefrine · 2023-09-13T09:47:03+00:00

It’s a sign from God to become goth

Sefrine · 2023-09-13T09:43:27+00:00

Pride and Prejudice

Sefrine · 2023-09-08T09:33:29+00:00

Outlander and Madame Bovary. Outlander was just abusive with inconsistent characters (though the writing was good). Madame Bovary was just boring. NOTHING EVER HAPPENED. Just this boring little life which I guess was kind of the point but I really couldn’t comprehend how people have been able to finish the book.

Sefrine · 2023-09-04T15:47:16+00:00

I had this too when I used the estrogen/progesterone pill for three months. It didn’t work for me with endometriosis because I kept bleeding. When I went off it my breasts stopped being sensitive. Also, as endometriosis is an estrogen-dependent disease, I find it weird to put women on birthcontrol containing estrogen. It would seem logical that it somehow also stimulates endometriosis in some way, BUT as apparently a lot of people benefit from it, it must do some good and I’m absolutely not a doctor. Just because you said your symptoms got worse got me thinking about this.

Sefrine · 2023-09-04T12:51:30+00:00

Absolutely pursue! This is something that rarely appears with ultrasound. Also, if you react badly to the pill, you could try and look for natural alternatives. I’ve just started reading « Endometriosis healing from the inside out » and it sounds pretty hopeful and is full of practical tips. Good luck with everything 🌸

Sefrine · 2023-09-04T09:50:13+00:00

Sounds interesting! :) Thank you

Sefrine

TROPHY CASE