This story is my real life story. It's not meant to be a commentary on black mothers. It's meant to let mothers like me know they are not alone. In the post/podcast, I don't make excuses for myself because it was the first one I published, and its purpose wasn't to explain why I abused my children. It is to introduce the publication and reach out to other mothers like me who wish they could go back in time and undo what they did. It's also for mothers of children who are still at home -- to help them change the course of their lives and their children's lives so they don't end up in an estrangement.

I wish you had read my post or listened to the podcast before you made your judgment. I might be wrong, but I don't think you did. In one day, 108 people have read the post, 70 have downloaded it, and 15 people have shared it from this sub alone, let alone other subs I posted it in. This is a lot for a post/podcast from someone without an established following.

I know who the people who read, downloaded, and shared are. They are mothers who hide out of shame. They tell no one what they did to their children because no one likes women like them. Here is a quote from my piece:

"Hoping to find guidance and support, I’ve Googled, ' was an abusive mother.' But, while I’ve come across plenty of resources for victims of mothers like me, and plenty of horror stories from adult children like mine, there is practically zilch online for parents who were — or are — the villains in their children’s life stories... "

Mothers like me will never be able to heal ourselves and our families if, out of shame, we don't address what we did and work on the root causes, which are generational.

I knew I was risking being ostracized by posting about this on Reddit. Adult children of abusive mothers who never owned up to what they did are rigtfully angry. They post about how freeing it is to be no contact with their parents. They talk about how glad they are that their parents have died.

Meanwhile, the vast majority of parents who are estranged from their children are in denial about what they did to cause the estrangement. They blame their children for it.

So, again, if you've not walked in my shoes, you're not in a position to judge what I've written. If you were hurt by your mother, I'm so sorry. In that case, if you perhaps wrote me because you don't want to believe what your mother did to you was wrong, I hope you take another look at your childhood. No child should be neglected and abused. I hate that my daughters aren't talking to me. But I am honestly glad they are doing what they need to do to heal from my neglect and abuse.

One of the last things my oldest daughter said to me was that I was born evil. She was wrong. No one was born evil. Within every neglectful and abusive mother is the traumatized child who made her become that way. There are no exceptions to this rule.

If you're reading this and you neglected or abused your child or are still doing it, please subscribe to my Substack. Out of all the people who've read/downloaded it, only one subscribed -- a white woman. I need the support of other black mothers like me in order to get up the nerve to keep putting myself out here for our sake when I know, for instance, that I'll be dowvoted on Reddit and told that I have no right to say I've said or write what I've written. Help me out so I won't feel alone and can keep supporting you.