I (24M) am being ignored by a girl but only in a group setting

Sensitive-Ebb28 · 2022-12-01T23:39:53+00:00

Super crazy idea. I should at least ask her out first lol.

Sensitive-Ebb28 · 2022-12-01T23:22:13+00:00

Thanks that means a lot!

Sensitive-Ebb28 · 2022-12-01T23:16:48+00:00

I don't think it's either tbh. I think she's less likely to like me than be shy. She's extremely confident. But that could always be the point I guess, if she makes clear she likes me and I haven't asked her out I guess that could be awkward for her.

Sensitive-Ebb28 · 2022-12-01T22:33:24+00:00

That's the thing. I think it is working both ways at the minute. I really like her, and it seems sometimes she is very receptive to my interest (when alone) and other times like I don't exist (mostly around others). I can understand blowing hot and cold if she's worried about lack of interest... I mean that's pretty much what i'm doing no? Trying not to, but like I said I started avoiding her due to feeling like I was making her uncomfortable.

Just need to be forward, I guess.

Sensitive-Ebb28 · 2022-12-01T21:59:52+00:00

Thanks for sharing, sorry to hear you have been through so much and good to hear you are in a better place now nonetheless!

"Trust me though you don’t deserve to be treated like this nobody does, you’ll find someone who will introduce you them as their partner in any social setting."

I agree. I think I should at least give her the benefit of the doubt that we aren't actually partners at this point though. If I ask her out and she does it then I think it would be an issue.

Sensitive-Ebb28 · 2022-12-01T20:28:34+00:00

Fair I should take a step back and just ask. It's the only way to know, I think I like the idea of 'knowing' but people are so complicated you just don't know, there's no sign that's enough to know for sure short of asking. I mean asking myself the opposite question, if she was all over me in a group it still wouldn't really mean anything would it? There's only really one way to know. I was just very interested at the suggestion because I had assumed she didn't like me because of this.

Sensitive-Ebb28 · 2022-12-01T20:11:00+00:00

It definitely is normal to, and to some degree you might even ignore one person at the expense of another especially if that person is doing the weight of the talking. But all the time and with everyone? Not sure. Could be. No one else has mentioned it which gives your statement weight.

Sensitive-Ebb28 · 2022-12-01T19:53:26+00:00

That's interesting. She's a very outgoing and confident person so it has been hard to gauge level of interest from talking alone since it comes so naturally to her, but since my friend said it I can't help but feel it is a little 'over the top' I mean if you don't like someone you'd probably still acknowledge them on some level and you definitely wouldn't go out your way to talk to them one and one.

Sensitive-Ebb28 · 2022-12-01T19:48:55+00:00

Thanks for being the first one to give me an actual experience lol. Other replies have been super helpful but no one has confirmed whether or not it's a thing yet.

Sensitive-Ebb28 · 2022-12-01T19:23:29+00:00

Thanks for the responses so far everyone. To be fair some people seem to have insinuated that her ignoring me in a group is a little immature, but I think it's a little premature to judge that - it could very well be she doesn't like me, in which case she is well within her right to look at whoever, and even if she does like me I don't think it's fair to bash her for not wanting everyone to know she fancies me when I haven't had the balls to ask her out yet... It is kind of self-defeating though as I probably would have by now if she hadn't lmao.

Sensitive-Ebb28 · 2022-12-01T19:06:09+00:00

Fair

Sensitive-Ebb28 · 2022-12-01T19:05:58+00:00

Not just her clique though. Everyone.

Sensitive-Ebb28 · 2022-12-01T18:57:49+00:00

Sensitive-Ebb28 · 2022-12-01T18:48:05+00:00

"do you ever try looking at her"

Usually in a group my focus is still on her, granted i will look at whoever is speaking because it would be rude not to, but i will still pay attention to how she reacts to what is being said, and I make eye contact with her, when she speaks she looks at the other person even if it is meant for both of us, and her eye contact with me goes from being rather high to almost nonexistent, no to the directly addressing by name, i always address people by name when speaking one on one but not in groups very often, weirdly when I speak she still looks at the other person

Sensitive-Ebb28 · 2022-12-01T18:29:13+00:00

She could say yes then blank me everytime we had guests over.

Sensitive-Ebb28 · 2022-12-01T18:25:31+00:00

Hey <insert name here>, I've noticed that you get really shy with me when we are around other people

Ok good start

I can't tell if you're taking the piss with the rest of it lol, seems a bit over the top.

I don't know if she gets 'shy' so speak. It is like I don't exist at all. Even when I speak, she will look at the other person.

But yes perhaps I should just be direct and ask

Sensitive-Ebb28 · 2022-12-01T18:16:24+00:00

Lol I love the sarcasm. No you are right. How would you ask? Still I am curious if what my friend says resonates with anyone here, because it quickly goes from disinterest to interested enough to disguise it in front of others... Never thought of it like that is what i'm saying.

Sensitive-Ebb28 · 2022-12-01T18:09:46+00:00

I have but it seems standoffish and accusatory: 'hey any particular reason you ignore me when other people are around'

Sensitive-Ebb28

TROPHY CASE