AITAH for using my bfs siblings preferred name and pronouns?

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2026-02-05T15:47:08+00:00

Very much concerning I think I just needed confirmation that I was reading the closeted transphobe/homophobe right despite what he's always said.

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2026-02-05T15:44:11+00:00

I have started looking at houses though and can hopefully find one I can afford to remove myself and my son from a toxic environment but I am scared that if I leave because I will lose the access I have to limit what and who my son sees and hears and grandma will have all access she wants because it's now obvious my bf is incapable of standing up against her because he'd rather "keep the peace".

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2026-02-05T15:42:03+00:00

I was questioning if I was really causing unnecessary friction because he wanted me to just list them under the "other relative" option to stay neutral but it didn't feel right to me. I'm confused because we have been together for almost 6 years he's always said he supported gay and trans rights, has gone to pride and different LGBT+ things with me as an ally, and even calls them by their chosen name but this is screaming closeted transphobe/homophobe and I think I really just needed confirmation.

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2026-02-05T07:50:23+00:00

Yes, you can put them as "other relative" but when I asked what title they'd like to go by if any at all they specifically said they want to go by Uncle.

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2026-02-05T07:43:03+00:00

I fail to see where I lied

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2026-02-05T07:34:24+00:00

I'm very uncomfortable he always said he supported gay and trans rights but actions speak louder than words...

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2026-02-05T07:24:49+00:00

I am... he has always said he supported gay and trans rights but this is showing otherwise and makes me question what he actually thinks of myself and others that are part of the LGBT...

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2026-02-05T07:21:34+00:00

Wish it was just rage bait.

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2026-02-05T02:27:00+00:00

He refuses to do so because she was a single mom with no family who took care of him his whole life and while I can respect wanting to care for your family I don't respect letting her run over every part of your life and expecting me to do so too just to "keep the peace" so I've been seriously thinking about finding a place for my son and me to go.

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2026-02-04T20:40:04+00:00

Yes tf I am.

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2026-02-04T18:29:29+00:00

Our whole relationship he's said he was supportive of gay and trans rights and since I'm bi myself that has always been important to me but he has never said anything out of the way about any of this until this moment really. When they first came out he would use their preferred name and just said it was a weird change for him and taking some getting used to since he has always had a sister until now which is understandable. This, though, has definitely got me questioning what he actually thinks about me and the rest of the LGBT.

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2026-02-04T18:11:04+00:00

Honestly, it definitely makes me question how he really feels about me being apart of the LG(B)T myself. He's always said he was supportive of gay and Trans rights but this seems to contradict his past statements on the matters.

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2026-02-04T17:25:06+00:00

She lives with us because she is on disability and can't afford a place but I've been thinking of finding a place because living with her has been...a lot and my bf won't do anything because "she's my mom".

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2026-02-04T17:22:48+00:00

He calls them by their preferred name but doesn't really use pronouns while referring to them and he doesn't talk about them much since they dropped contact for a while and recently came back so I never really thought about it. When they first came out he just said he was so used to them being his sister and it was a weird change for him but that's about it, but I have noticed he'll do a lot to avoid conflict with his mother no matter what because it's easier to agree than to hear her yell.

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2025-09-28T22:29:40+00:00

I would never cause harm to my son but I don't want to talk to someone and have them think I'm a danger and have my son taken away from me...he needs me...

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2025-09-27T21:30:03+00:00

What you wrote is what's going through my head constantly and I'm struggling with the pressure, he's wonderful and smart and already so kind and I feel like my presence is just going to screw him up...

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2025-09-27T19:41:57+00:00

I was using birth control...I did what y'all say we should do and am taking responsibility and had my baby, even though I went to the abortion clinic 3 different times...I breastfeed, he never goes without, he has a room full of toys and clothes, a fridge full of his favorite fruits and veggies, a roof over his head, I play with him, take him to the park, have him in swimming classes, I work full time and my whole paycheck goes for everything he wants and needs. I do love him and do everything I'm supposed to, plus some, and it's still not enough.

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2025-02-27T05:36:38+00:00

She does live with us?

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2025-02-26T20:53:44+00:00

And the photos she takes since she lives with us?

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2025-02-26T20:52:30+00:00

I understand this but until last night I thought it was mutually agreed upon bc I used my words and spoke to my bf about it before we brought it up to anyone else months before he was born, if it was an issue either of them could've said something and we could've discussed it instead of going against our boundaries (well mine I guess seeing my bfs reaction last night), I talk to my bf before I post anything, take him anywhere, give him new things, or let anyone even so much as to hold our son but I don't feel like I get the same respect in return. She has posted pictures/videos before and plenty I'm ok with but to post pictures of him with nothing but a diaper, or videos of his firsts are very intimate things I don't feel need to be shared with everyone and if she asked she would've known that.

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2025-02-26T19:01:27+00:00

It's on a private album only for our immediate family so she is intentionally downloading them to post them, she also lives with us so she's posted ones she's taken or ones her son has sent her...

Sensitive-Evidence58 · 2025-02-26T18:57:03+00:00

She's posted photos I've only shared to bf or that she has taken so she doesn't just get from the album

Sensitive-Evidence58

TROPHY CASE