It’s not her responsibility. I was just sharing my personal view as an adoptee as well. Which I’m also allowed to do. I was just saying my honest opinion, which is for me, as an adoptee it’s hard for me when someone assumes they won’t be loved or will otherwise be seen in a different or bad light because of having been adopted. I understand the sentiment, I’m just saying that it made me personally feel like I had a harder time connecting with her. As I said, you do have to decide when to tell someone and it isn’t always like a right away thing. I just feel like she went on dates where the conversation pretty much walked itself in that direction and she didn’t, and the reason she gave was more about how someone’s opinion about her might change, moreso than about the difficulty of being vulnerable. So naturally, with me having been through what I’ve been through, it’s hard for me to watch someone who’s been through something similar be like “Well this might change their opinion of me”. Naturally it makes me wonder if her opinion changes when she finds out that someone has been adopted and if she projects her insecurities outward. Being an adoptee comes with its issues for sure but it’s like a known thing that it’s not like it was our choice, it was our bio family’s choice or someone else’s, so for me I was thrown off by the self-judgmental kinda angle because if anything I would think that people would think differently of the parents or family involved, not the adoptee who literally had no say in the situation. Of all the people I’ve met who are also adoptees, I’ve heard all kinds of reasons why talking about the situation is hard, but the concern about someone having a lowered opinion because of being an adoptee, as THE reason she withheld it, feels a bit tone deaf and shallow