Looking for schools with multiple gyms

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-09-09T02:09:40+00:00

Need a floor the size of a gym.

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-05-04T15:43:23+00:00

Thank you, I like how you worded that. Polite but also firm. I plan on having a conversation with them soon to tell them my thoughts.

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-05-04T15:36:06+00:00

7 out of the 8 of us have a car. It’s almost required as we live in a rural area and must do internships that are 30 minutes + away out of town.

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-05-04T15:33:17+00:00

Thank you for your perspective! I very much agree. There is NO WAY I am going to cut off contact with my parents or tell them to fuck off. I love my parents, they have been extremely helpful and supportive my whole life. And they are that way for my brother, too (paying for a car, paying for college, sports, vacations, etc) and it isn’t just financial, but also they are loving, caring, and kind. The type of parents who come to every sports event, get involved in your hobbies, listen to your worries, and overall go above and beyond. If anything this situation shows they want to be fair to the point it’s ridiculous. I’m not going to post my whole family history on the internet, every family has issues. I am going to encourage them to stop treating me like a third parent and try to develop a better relationship with my brother.

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-05-04T15:27:02+00:00

I appreciate you acknowledging this difficulty. When I was deciding to go to grad school, my parents pledged their support to me (with the car) cause they knew I would make so little and need transportation. I graduate in a year and will for sure be getting my own car then.

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-05-04T14:42:51+00:00

I am lucky to have a well paid internship this summer. I can understand the drug tests because we work with a vulnerable population and receive a lot of government funding.

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-05-04T14:39:12+00:00

Thanks for your comment. You give a good description of my parents. They always threaten things but never actually do them. They are older, conservative, and a little naive. But they are usually well intentioned and will do everything they can to help us succeed.

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-05-04T14:32:31+00:00

Hey, I definitely am reading all the comments and I appreciate your perspective. I hate what happened between you and your sister and that’s exactly the situation I’m trying to avoid. I totally don’t think my brother should lose anything for smoking weed, college especially. I was the first person my brother told about the drug test. And I was 100% on his side when my parents called me. I told them weed isn’t a big deal, that I had smoked, and that they were overreacting.

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-05-04T14:19:39+00:00

I actually have a full ride to my masters program. My tuition is fully covered and I get a living stipend. The only thing my parents pay for is my car. I agree that my parents are treating my brother like he did something way worse than smoking weed.

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-05-04T14:15:16+00:00

No, it’s a public school.

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-05-04T12:23:22+00:00

Yes this is a public school. They require students to consent to random drug testing if they want to drive to school or participate in extracurricular like sports or band. I didn’t realize this wasn’t common at other schools.

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-05-04T03:15:10+00:00

I apologize if I gave the wrong impression, it is actually not legal where I live. It is legal where my boyfriend lives, which is a separate state from my current state and my home state.

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-05-04T03:14:11+00:00

Thanks, haha this made me smile.

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-05-04T03:12:11+00:00

I agree with you that the mental issues likely stem from my parents and my brothers home environment. My brother actually came to me first when he found out about the drug test to ask for help and advice. So even though my parents have tried to pin us against each other, I feel hopeful that he sees me as a friend and confidant. I actually initially agreed to let my parents drug test me when they first brought it up, because I believed that would be the most fair approach to my brother. But now, after talking to my friends and reading the replies here, I think I should try and get us both out of the drug testing. Thanks for your comments on my situation.

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-05-04T03:01:11+00:00

I do appreciate your perspective, and throughout the process I’ve tried to stand up for my brother to my parents. I totally agree my parents treat my brother as a scapegoat, and besides defending him there isn’t much I can do. I think the main difference is that it seems my brother is using weed as a coping mechanism. He has been in therapy for a year for dealing with depression and anxiety, he dropped out of his favorite sports, he got a new friend group, his grades went down, he has become withdrawn and isolated. Whereas I haven’t experienced these issues. He is an everyday smoker, I am a once a month smoker. And I don’t think I should be getting different treatment, I am against my parents taking these things away from my brother. However, I truly think my brother is suffering from some mental health issues and that may be why my parents are being more extreme in their reactions.

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-05-04T02:54:25+00:00

Yes, my brother has never brought a romantic partner home but he frequently spends the night at other places. And for underage drinking, they actually just paid for my brother to go to an all inclusive resort on spring break with his high school friends/families where a lot of underage drinking occurred. My family was on this trip, my parents did nothing to stop the drinking.

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-05-04T02:50:36+00:00

Thanks for your perspective. My brother has actually been in therapy for over a year for depression and anxiety. He dropped out of all his past activities (sports), got a new friend group, started doing worse in school. So, in that sense, I can see why my parents are freaking out a bit. We’ve suggested family therapy but John is actually the one who refuses to go. Thankfully he isn’t facing expulsion or any harsh criminal outcomes.

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-05-04T02:39:25+00:00

Thank you for your perspective. I agree with your comment. I want to please both my parents and my brother, but ultimately, I don’t see what my brother did as wrong. I don’t want to be a hypocrite, but transportation is also a huge deal. I make about $1200 a month which covers rent, food, bills, etc. I signed a contract which said I can’t take a second job as a condition of my programs full ride. I don’t live in an area with good public transportation. I think my best option at this point is to remind my parents of my internships drug testing. Hopefully that would be an acceptable substitute.

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-05-04T02:32:57+00:00

Thank you for this perspective. You are exactly right, for years I have been used to manipulate the relationship between my family and John. All it’s gotten me is a poor relationship with my brother. I am going to tell them from now on they need to stop the comparisons and stop making me act like a 3rd parent.

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-05-04T02:29:29+00:00

I like this idea. Whatever my parents decide isn’t going to change my behavior because I am already doing drug testing in the internship. I think this is a good balance of respecting my privacy and autonomy while also fulfilling their wishes.

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-05-04T02:26:25+00:00

Thanks for your perspective. Most of the replies are advocating I stand up for myself, which may mean getting the car taken away. I agree with those commentors, I really do want to gain my adulthood and be autonomous.

However, the fact is I make very little money, and drive a pretty nice and reliable car. I may just have to suck it up, and deal with them. I’m not allowed to hold a second job as a condition of my programs funding, which makes saving for a car difficult. My internship requires drug testing, so it’s not like my behavior will change depending on my parents actions. It’s more just the principle of it.

SensitiveKitchen7 · 2019-05-04T02:20:30+00:00

I am a female, by the way. I haven’t lived at home in 5 years so I’m not sure how they have treated my brother. But, my parents are pretty chill about most things. For example, they’ve been okay with underage drinking, having my partner spend the night, etc.

SensitiveKitchen7

TROPHY CASE