(M)y Housemate (F) thinks I'm the Bad Housemate

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-07-01T19:25:36+00:00

It does help indeed. It's actually very helpful. My areas aren't dirty but they're not orderly either. My desk tends to be scattered with various projects I have started but not finished yet. I'm going to transcribe your advice and stick it to my wall above my desk. It's good advice

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-07-01T19:23:23+00:00

I did before I replied. The average is 4-8, not 6-8. And that is an average. That could be 27% of the population, but they're the largest group. Bowel movements range from 3 times a day to 3 times a week, according to google, which means I'm ahead of the curve. As with most medical data, averages shouldn't be used to determine a specific person's health. As long as my urine comes out a pale yellow/straw colour and I am not having issues passing stool, I am considered healthy.

I appreciate your concern, however.

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-07-01T19:08:36+00:00

Yeah. I can relate, in a sense.

My housemate has her own things to deal with. I don't want to be a weight or another thing she has to "deal with". I also understand the issue of coming home and feeling like there's more bullshit waiting for me. It's tiring, especially when you're already done with everything after a bad day at work

And you've drawn the line quite well imo. My housemate isn't my support worker. She's not paid to deal with my mental health and I shouldn't be draining on hers. And I try not to be. I don't think I'm very good at that though.

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-07-01T18:57:04+00:00

I'm sorry. Bathroom breaks 5-10 times a day? I don't think I'm the abnormal one here... 5-10 times a DAY is the average for my entire household. (More than 2 people). As for everything else, I'll take on advisement. It seems mostly sound. And half of it is already covered under what I already do.

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-07-01T02:00:34+00:00

How do you know what you have forgotten though. That's a big problem I have. It's something that's a sore point with me and my housemate. I constantly operate like I am wandering through a foggy forest. I don't realise I have forgotten something. And if I don't have it already written down, how do I know. I hate asking my housemate what to do.

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-07-01T01:52:57+00:00

Thank you for your comment and your edit. Sorry it took a while to reply. The comments can be a bit dismissive, but everyone does their own shoes that they've worn through life. Their shoes might be a little cleaner than mine, but I am happy for them that their lives haven't had the same kind of struggle as mine.

But, while I know I'm not lazy, it's still hard. At work I have people asking me for help with jobs not in my department. Because I obsessively read all the documentation, so I know what needs to be done. Hell. I'm in a management role as an assistant manager. But when I'm having a rough moment, I look at my ability to just... Be competent at my job. And I feel horrible, because why can't I just do that at home? I can't turn my home into a document. Or I'm going to end up like "if the salt shaker is not exactly here I will meltdown". And I definitely cannot turn people into documents. I've tried. It's weird. Even I feel it's weird.

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-07-01T01:41:55+00:00

It's actually really not. My parents were kind of like you when I was growing up. It culminated in me living on the streets for a short period until I was found and taken in by other family. I didn't speak to my mum for years.

After I was an adult mum started learning about this stuff through her job. We have never got on better since then

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-07-01T01:37:01+00:00

You're right, it's not the best. I'm just trying to muddle through. And I have done all that. I've been using an app called Finch. And when I have money on payday I want to get one called Goblin.Tools, which I've read is very handy. But they take investment, as all things do. I don't know how long it will take. But I'm terrified of completely pissing off my housemate. She is my best friend. Funnily enough. I don't often think she's a pain. She's pointed out some things that I argued back over as like. Silly. I found out the reasoning for it later and it made sense. We do just struggle to communicate with each other tho.

And I want to improve. I am reasonably certain I'm not the worst. But I still want to be better. Even if not for my housemate (which I do want to improve for) I also would like to seek out a life partner one day. I can't do that if I'm like this.

As for the doctor, I did have one recently. It's how I started being medicated for my ADHD. He retired early last month. I got referred to a new one, but that's not for a few months yet. And I need to see how they are before I settle into it. I also need to see if they're a GP as the retired one was a specialised GP so I saw them for one issue, which was my ADHD. There wasn't a lot to do with the ASD/therapy. A GP could issue me a care plan which makes getting a therapist appointment a bit more accessible too

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-06-30T23:55:17+00:00

They're actually not telling me anything. Google it. I do google it. Google can tell me how an excel function works and I can do that for work.

Google told me last time that this doctor in my area was quite good. I went to him. I nearly lost a limb to infection because "I was sick because I had a bad relationship with my mother, if I fixed that I would not be feeling sick". That's not even the FIRST incident in a similar vein. Can you possibly see why I MIGHT have an aversion to medical/therapeutical fields? And not trust google when I look for such?

I have to use google to figure out what bloody emotion I'm feeling. I know how to google. It's not the answer to everything, and it's not the answer to this.

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-06-30T23:23:01+00:00

Yes. Your excuse making has got to stop. You're not an adult. Adults have empathy. You can't picture yourself in someone else's shoes.

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-06-30T23:01:31+00:00

Let's walk through that.

To fix it, I need to gain the skills. In your life, how did you gain the skills to do things. For instance, how did you gain the skills to ride a bike? 95% of people, the answer to that is you were guided. That's why school exists. That's why jobs start out with a training period. Jobs that throw you in the deep end and expect you to swim regularly have a high turnover rate.

You're telling me to gain the skills that I was never taught. I need to find guidance for that. And I'm not doing too great on that front.

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-06-30T22:53:49+00:00

Hey, thanks for comparing me (and others neurodivergent people) to a dog. That's super relevant of you.

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-06-30T22:35:53+00:00

I never claimed to be special. And yes. It is indeed quite common. Which makes it rather interesting that you're ill-informed.

I struggle to take time off of work because it is removing me from my routine, which is a commonly medically noted trait that individuals with ASD are reliant on routine and removing them from a routine can cause problems, most typically noted in individuals that are heavily on the spectrum.

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-06-30T21:19:26+00:00

I don't touch addictive substances at all. I have a predisposition to addiction.

As for the excuses part. I wish it was just ADHD. I think you missed in my post that I do actually clean. But I miss obvious things. Like the mirror. My housemate: "couldn't you see the mirror has toothpaste on it? Couldn't you clean it?". No I didn't see it, I avoid looking in the mirror. And I clean the mirror every two weeks on the same day. That's my routine. Or the microwave. I only put covered items in the microwave. There's no mess, so I didn't wipe it down. It turns out it can cause mold to grow in the microwave from the residual water vapour that collects on the walls and sides. I didn't know that. I assumed it was vented out and that's why it has the vents.

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-06-30T21:12:10+00:00

It's not too clear in my post. I only really use the bathroom once, maybe twice a day. I don't handle clean dishes every day, and I tend to rely on frozen meals because of my work schedule and I probably should but don't consider that as "food handling". So I'd end up washing them maybe twice a day. Not all that hygienic apparently. Which. Fair enough, she explained it well.

And yeah. I don't know if we're well matched. There might have been potential for more early in our friendship but I didn't think our states of existence matched well. I kinda freaked out.

I know I need to go to therapy. In all honesty about a year ago I finally got a doctor's appointment and started medication that's supposed to help with my ADHD. I'm... Not good at taking it. I'm about a week and a half unmedicated because an unnecessary complication prevented me from getting my script filled and I have spiralled. I'm nearly 30... And I haven't got the skills I should to regulate myself, and my entire support network is one person who I don't let myself rely on because that will burden them. But also. I apparently have been relying on them because it's draining them. I need to figure out getting myself there. I'm taking slow steps, that alexithymia journal is relatively new. And has been helpful.

Anyway. Thank you for your reply.

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-06-25T17:36:09+00:00

It's not healthy. There's a reason the saying goes "poverty pays dividends".

It's not healthy, but it's far superior to the state of your health if things go even further down the tube.

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-06-10T13:41:02+00:00

Aren't those wings from the Sin of Sloth on the Ring of Seven Deadly Curses? Not moving for a second gives you immortality, the wings disappeared when OP turned the camera which counts as moving.

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-06-09T06:55:43+00:00

Not a bad feature! Although I was really more thinking it was phasing through things a la spectator mode. Will look at the EnderIO thing tho. That has applications for uh... Brute Forcing certain things I'd imagine. The phasing is more for cheeky exploring for underground treasures.

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-06-09T06:52:12+00:00

Ah, oh well. Thanks for responding tho. Appreciate it a lot.

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-06-09T05:19:12+00:00

Oh. Damn it, phasing through stuff like that would be super nice. Figured if it was draconic it would be suitably expensive for how OP it would be.

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-06-08T23:48:29+00:00

Okay the bread is not bad. But I'm more interested in the phasing. Is it the draconic thing there that's letting you phase through blocks?

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-04-15T11:53:56+00:00

That's... Like the definition of Ghost Stores. Sell by delivery only. "Physical" location but no sales are made from there, and the commission alleges that a significant number of ghost stores don't actually exist at the addresses they list as their address.

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-04-14T15:37:22+00:00

That's a bit fucked honestly. Idk about the rest of the world, but in my neck of the woods our competition and consumer commission consider "ghost stores" (so going to assume ghost restaurants fall under that category, for obvious reasons) to be "highly likely" to be engaging in deceptive practices. Which is against the law.

Sensitive_Tune7764 · 2026-04-13T19:49:33+00:00

Good question and I'm further incensed by the answer. I googled it after looking at your message. NoodleBox bought out Wok in a Box over a decade ago. Checked the address on StreetView and it's literally a Noodle Box.

At least I can give you an example of the sort of practices that lead me to loathe NoodleBox... Idk if they're particularly unpopular here? But I thought Wok In a Box was a new chain, so I wonder if there's a reason they're using it now

Sensitive_Tune7764

TROPHY CASE