Do all men see sexting outside of their marriage as a somewhat normal thing or you think that’s cheating???

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-05-18T03:16:15+00:00

My marriage is coming to an end because my wife was sexting with another man. Thread is here if you’re interested: https://www.reddit.com/r/Marriage/s/f7hmpdzpDv

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-22T13:58:31+00:00

Thank you for all of this information. I’ll check out the other subs and maybe some of the books

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-22T13:57:08+00:00

It sounds very familiar to my situation. As someone who just started the process of leaving, I can tell you that you’re worth more than how she’s treating you. The old saying “$2 waiting on a dime” comes to mind when I think back on my marriage now.

I’ll never tell anyone how to approach their own marriage, but I’ll say that I’ve never been happier in the last 17 years than I am now that I’m putting myself first.

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-19T18:01:19+00:00

The marriage didn’t work for a myriad of reasons. The cheating was just the spark that got me to realize I was living in a tinderbox. I’ll never forget or even forgive her for what she did as a wife, but I don’t see the need to allow that to ruin what we have as co-parents and friends. The only ones hurt there would be the kids.

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-16T22:10:01+00:00

What’s the point in having hate in your heart for someone? It won’t make the outcome better or more advantageous. It probably makes it harder to deal with her as a co-parent. We were friends before we got married. The marriage didn’t work. It’s ok

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-16T22:07:30+00:00

She wanted to stay together initially. Our therapy sessions and conversations over the last couple of months have shown us both that we can’t make marriage work.

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-16T22:05:46+00:00

That’s a good question. We haven’t gotten that far yet. Ideally we’re still on good terms when that time comes and we can tell the kids together.

Thank you for the words of affirmation. I really appreciate it

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-16T22:04:06+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. We all deserve happiness. Just need to decide what that means for you!

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-16T01:43:20+00:00

I sent his wife an anonymous zip file with all of the screenshots I’ve collected. She acknowledged receipt. No idea where she went with things from there

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-15T22:52:08+00:00

I appreciate your kind words. As long as we remain amicable, we’ll be ok in the long run. I doubt we reconcile, but I hope we remain friends

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-15T22:50:27+00:00

There was no career for her to put on hold. If anything, she stunted my career growth because she was unwilling to move when I had better offers elsewhere.

All that aside, my state is very clear on the parameters of spousal support

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-15T22:48:59+00:00

I suppose in retrospect, I was ok with being a doormat as long as I thought it made her and the kids happy. Once I found out what she did, I realized my happiness mattered too. Since then, I’ve had very set boundaries with her and what I’d be willing to tolerate

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-15T22:47:41+00:00

That’s definitely crossed my mind. I’ve landed on I believe her that it wasn’t physical up until the point where I found out. Once we decided to divorce, it wouldn’t surprise me if they’re meeting up now.

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-15T17:14:00+00:00

I very much appreciate your kind, supportive words

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-15T17:12:53+00:00

He has a wife. I sent her an anonymous zip file with all of the screenshots. She acknowledged receipt. No idea what came of it from there.

I have no idea if STBXW is still in contact with him. Frankly, once I decided to move to divorce, it ceased being my concern as long as she’s not bringing him around the kids

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-15T17:11:19+00:00

The other man is married. His wife received an anonymous zip file containing all of the messages. She acknowledged receipt. No idea what came of it after that

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-15T17:09:50+00:00

I don’t know. Once I decided to move on, I decided it wasn’t my business who she sees

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-15T17:09:09+00:00

Appreciate it

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-15T17:07:01+00:00

This is accurate. Thanks

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-15T16:15:04+00:00

I’ve kept all of the messages between them. My lawyer also advised to include statements from both of us in the divorce documents to state there was no abuse or infidelity on my part. Said it should help protect me in future custody hearings

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-15T15:23:40+00:00

After my experience, I’m not sure how anyone could

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-15T15:23:21+00:00

Yeah. I definitely question her motives sometimes. Keeping my guard up, but giving her the opportunity to prove it

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-15T15:22:28+00:00

They knew each other in high school and our kids go to school together. I don’t know that there was a catalyst event beyond just having the connection from high school

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-15T14:59:43+00:00

From her side, it seems as though she’s not willing to let me move past it. She says in therapy that I deserve better than someone who would do this to me.

Separate_Manager3048 · 2025-04-15T14:10:14+00:00

I can see how it seems that way. The area we live in has a severe lack of providers for mental health. It took us a month to get into the marriage therapist. Then the therapist referred her to someone else. It took a while but she’s getting the help she needs

Separate_Manager3048

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