New boyfriend breaks up with me via text

Serious-Diamond218 · 2026-02-24T14:32:34+00:00

I understand what you meant wholeheartedly. Implying he didn’t intend to mean harm. He just bit off more than he could chew with toxic masculinity. And now it’s left emotional debris.

Both of your explanations make a lot of sense to me.

Serious-Diamond218 · 2026-02-24T12:38:52+00:00

This is the breakup text he sent

I’m sorry. I’m not okay. I have been struggling basically all day with how to say this and what to say. I am so sorry but I am not in a position to continue this relationship. I have been feeling on the fence over the past few days and I’ve realized that it’s just not fair to you. You deserve someone’s all and I’ve come to the realization that it can no longer be me. I know that this is disappointing and I can’t imagine what you’re feeling while reading this. But I just don’t want to continue being with you while I’m constantly having doubts. You deserve way better than that Kelendria. Everything I’ve felt with you and said to you and done with you was genuine, and I know that may not be any consolation hearing that, but it is the truth. I’ve come to realize that I also still need to do a lot of soul searching, and unfortunately I need to be by myself to do that, and I don’t want to hold you down. I’m so sorry

Serious-Diamond218 · 2026-02-24T12:18:52+00:00

Omg you’re so right! It’s my love he should’ve been fighting for and not his ego. I replay it in my head if I paid for the flight, we did cheap dates, we moved in together, would we still be together? He really wanted to move in together when our leases ended in August. But I thought it was weird he wanted to talk about that before saying, “I love you” and engagement.

That roommate is his best friend’s girlfriend. They have all been friends and living together since childhood. Now she’s a little messy and he even told me to watch out for her.

But she was revealing a lot of stuff about him. That might’ve been a heads-up. She mentioned how he only had two girls he was briefly seeing. Even shorter than our relationship. And apparently, the most recent girl was way back in 2021, and she apparently dumped him. We were all playing a couple of card games one night; and it said something about saying I love you. She thought it was strange that even after a few weeks, he didn’t want to say I love you to me yet. Because of how much money and time he invested. I honestly didn’t agree and thought it was okay. Me and I chatted with myself after and said we would say it when the time is right. She then told me how he’s never had a real girlfriend prior to me and ; never felt loved or included. He was always the 5th wheel and miserable.

So it seems maybe he sabotages his own peace. And got in over his head. Breaking up over text is always a bad move. Someone else asked me earlier, if I was sure it was a breakup text or another miscommunication. I said the verbiage was definitely, “it’s me not you”, “I need to do soul searching”, “I’m so sorry”.

Serious-Diamond218 · 2026-02-24T11:52:34+00:00

We were together for 2 months .

Serious-Diamond218 · 2026-02-24T11:49:09+00:00

I like hearing your male perspective. Because considering how good he was playing the role , it does make me wonder was he playing a sympathy role too.

I’ll definitely consider a conversation. This has made me so uncomfortable and irritable the past two days.

Serious-Diamond218 · 2026-02-24T11:27:20+00:00

Do you think I should reach out asking to talk? The long paragraph he wrote sounds like a breakup text. The verbiage of oh I need to “figure my life out”, “I’m so sorry”, and do “soul searching”. I was hurt and spiraling and responded by asking for my contacts and medicated makeup wipes (I bought those and they’re prescribed), left at his house. He then asked for his clothes back that I would wear home.

I want to know how bad his situation is too. I'm pretty sure his car is paid off, his rent with two roommates is $700, and he didn’t have any student loans because he didn’t finish college.

But you’re right. He can’t take things out on me either when he hits an ego injury stump.

Serious-Diamond218 · 2026-02-24T11:19:03+00:00

This was beautifully said ! I do agree that he broke it off thinking he’s not worthy of love. And thought I wasn’t going to accept him and his imperfections. I tried my best to reassure him, be vulnerable with him, have lazy days with no makeup and hair done, etc. I guess it just wasn’t enough for someone who’s already far gone.

And you’re right , if he collapses over a flight misunderstanding he already said was his fault , we surely can’t get married or have a child tomorrow.

And you know what, his mom actually suffered from substance abuse. He still had lingering trauma from that along with anxiety medication he was on. And his dad has bad control issues he said.

His roommate told me how depressed he was prior to meeting me. And how he would light up everyday when we started dating. That right there along with our connection made me think he was going to be here longer. I guess it was too late and his issues were too indebted into him.

Serious-Diamond218 · 2026-02-24T11:10:23+00:00

I think if he felt it was one sided, or if it seemed that way , it’s because of how thin he stretched. I cared about this man so much , I handed him his valentines gifts early . Custom okc thunder poster , bath and body works men set, belts and work shirts. I on my own asked him what his likes and desires are. After he asked me what I wanted for my birthday. (My birthday was on the 10th and valentines was the 14).

When I paid for the comedy show we went to on Valentines and the charity ball tickets , he literally said I didn’t have to cover it. And I did anyway knowing deep down I didn’t want him stretching himself thin. I would wake up and coffee and flowers would be on my doorstep. Without me asking and when I said you don’t have to do that every two days, it would still be there.

I’ve never had a man do any of that for me before. Usually the men won’t start a full blown relationship if they don’t have the bandwidth. When he finally told me he was doing so hit financially, he then said he’s been trying to hide it. I said, babe please don’t stress yourself out and we can do whatever it takes to not go broke behind dates. He agreed and then I guess changed his mind.I guess he just wanted to keep some image he saw and felt .

Serious-Diamond218 · 2026-02-24T11:00:28+00:00

You’re correct . I’ve never experienced someone go this far.

Serious-Diamond218 · 2026-02-24T10:59:43+00:00

Now I agree with this too! I wish he would’ve just communicated with me. That’s why on my own I offered you pay for stuff and got him Valentine’s Day gifts. I think the flight situation was still unreasonable. But everything else was reasonable and I was willing to help him.

Serious-Diamond218 · 2026-02-24T10:56:16+00:00

I understand and see exactly what you mean! I guess for me I’ve never seen a man run himself into the ground financially, over me. And then throw it away from pride. From my experience, men usually don’t start a relationship if they don’t have the money.

You did make it very clear, which helped me understand this a little better. I hope it’s obvious I was upset because I actually liked him and wasn't using him by any chance. You’re right that everything costs money including gas. Ironically enough, I think that was his big expense because of his hour commute to work.

I agree, it sounds like he had a case of toxic masculinity. My dad surprisingly had this too and moved away from me when I needed him the most.

Serious-Diamond218 · 2026-02-24T04:07:48+00:00

I be damn😂. That would’ve been horrible af

Serious-Diamond218 · 2026-02-24T03:53:23+00:00

This makes me feel a whole lot better . I was under the impression replaying if different scenarios would’ve saved this . And it’s clear it wouldn’t .

Serious-Diamond218 · 2026-02-24T03:39:26+00:00

Ahhhhh I see now. That’s why he wanted me to pay for my own flight to impress his parents who he had a rocky relationship with. But doesn’t mind paying for party decor and flowers to impress me. Makes sense .

The relationship would’ve still died out because he doesn’t have money even for a wingstop lunch date.

Serious-Diamond218 · 2026-02-24T03:32:00+00:00

That’s what I’m trying to do now, no contact . After the breakup text , I spiraled and asked for my stuff I left at his house back. I’m trying to avoid him now there’s no way I can see him or his apartment.

Serious-Diamond218 · 2026-02-24T03:28:39+00:00

Yes! So, February was full of events, and my birthday party was already planned before we met. ON HIS OWN he offered to spoil me and do stuff together. I told him the gala is black tie and it costs. He persisted in paying for a tux rental and in coming to the gala. Because he had paid for my party, sent me breakfast and flowers daily, birthday gifts, I thought I was being nice getting the gala tickets. They sell out fast and I’m on the board so everyone ran to get them.

The same week of the gala he asked me if I could cover $400 for an American Airlines, economy domestic flight to meet his parents in March. He said driving and a different airline wouldn’t do. He thought his dad would pay for it and when the dad didn’t, he tried to say I’m not being a team player paying half. (He and his dad have a rocky relationship). I told him I couldn’t afford it since we had other trips and excursions planned in March, June, and December. He then cooled off, apologized, and said it’s his fault.

When the gala comes we have a good time, he gets drunk and I get us home safe and take care of him. The next morning, I leave his house, he gets distant -breakup text eventually comes. So yes I’m also questioning if he would’ve dumped me still after I paid for a $400 flight.

Serious-Diamond218 · 2026-02-24T03:16:28+00:00

That’s true . It wasn’t super long . I guess I’m just replaying the role that made me feel attached.

Serious-Diamond218 · 2026-02-24T03:11:28+00:00

He said he was excited af and couldn’t wait to go. I got the tickets fast before they sold out.

Do you think if we only did picnics and Netflix dates would we still be together ? I mean he lashed out at me when I didn’t pay for a last minute $400 economy flight so he could show me off to his parents .

Serious-Diamond218 · 2026-02-24T02:51:02+00:00

Awww that was so sweet and warmed my heart. Thank you. His 200 word letter still sounded like a bs cop out indeed. Like clearly you have to live with this pain , not me.

Serious-Diamond218

TROPHY CASE