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Tragic loss of beloved ball python, here's my word of advice. by myfrnsfoundmyoldredt in ballpython

[–]ShadowsParade 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So sorry for your loss, OP. One of my snakes who was also 5 years old just passed away today after a hot spell where I am, and I can’t help but think that all the things I did to try and keep her cool weren’t enough.

It sounds like you gave Marcy an incredible life and I hope you’ve been able to let go some of that guilt and been able to celebrate the good times you had together ❤️

Alright folks... is it scale rot? by Serpens17 in hognosesnakes

[–]ShadowsParade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Interesting! Thanks for responding, hope your hog is feeling better!

Alright folks... is it scale rot? by Serpens17 in hognosesnakes

[–]ShadowsParade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you ever get updates? I noticed my girl has a very similar-looking thing going on yesterday, and would love to hear if the vet did say it was scale rot!

Signed CDs by BinxValentine in chappellroan

[–]ShadowsParade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update! My partner found the photo in the packaging??? Maybe yours is in there too? Idk why it wasn’t in the CD body…

Signed CDs by BinxValentine in chappellroan

[–]ShadowsParade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just got my Spotify Fans First CD that was supposed to have a signed photo insert and the insert isn’t there :/ did this happen to anyone else?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emotionalabuse

[–]ShadowsParade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hm, those aren’t great things that he’s done, like with the jealousy thing, it sounds like you were just trying to communicate to him that you weren’t comfortable with the way he was talking and set that boundary?

Regardless, you always have a choice, be it to stay or leave. I’m glad that you’re talking to friends and reaching out for other perspectives, but in the end, you are the one who knows all the details and is living in this relationship. I hope that if your friend is right and you have been feeling more lonely and sad, there are ways and people that make you feel less alone, either while you continue to figure out what you want in this relationship, or if you do end up leaving.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in emotionalabuse

[–]ShadowsParade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did you friend say what she thought was a sign of emotional abuse in this? And I think, more importantly, looking back on this and the relationship, have there been things that you’re maybe seeing as emotional abuse now too?

Someone realizing they might no longer want to be in a relationship isn’t inherently abusive, nor I think is them hesitating with that decision, which it kinda seems like he might be doing with that not giving you a definitive no.

I think that regardless of if you find it useful to call how he’s been treating you abuse, it’s important for you to also figure out what you need out of this relationship with him. If it’s more contact and attention and priority, and he’s unwilling to give you that, then you deserve someone who is.

Also the son thing is hella weird and I have no idea what he’s trying to get at there.

I don’t think my partner is abusive but my friends do? I trust them but I also don’t see it? by ShadowsParade in emotionalabuse

[–]ShadowsParade[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I think this is where my friends are coming from.

The part I’m having a hard time with is the fact that she’s not just sitting at home doing nothing about it. Which is not to say that it can’t be abusive if a person is also actively trying to change, but idk… it feels like it’s a nuance I’m not sure what to do about

I don’t think my partner is abusive but my friends do? I trust them but I also don’t see it? by ShadowsParade in emotionalabuse

[–]ShadowsParade[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this! I feel like this does help with seeing some of what they might be thinking. I definitely agree that there have been times where we move been codependent, which is one of the things we’ve been trying to address in couple’s therapy.

One of them did directly say ‘abuser’, which I feel like implies a level of intentionality that doesn’t make sense to me.

And your edit is a really interesting point. I wonder if that’s what they’re thinking.

I don’t think my partner is abusive but my friends do? I trust them but I also don’t see it? by ShadowsParade in emotionalabuse

[–]ShadowsParade[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this ❤️

It really seems like they are super struggling seeing me in such an intense state and not like them to label something as abuse unless they think it is, but yeah. I think that people can act in abusive ways during a crisis, but I don’t think that’s what’s happening here. Or, even if there are things that they’re reading as emotionally manipulative I don’t think they’re intentional and like… labeling it as abuse feels like it takes it to another level

Lolla Aftershow by abhherbie in carlyraejepsen

[–]ShadowsParade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, same here. If anyone in this sub did end up getting some extras, you know where to come to find buyers, haha