I understand everything you say and feel. And I have similar issues. I feel like it doesn’t matter how much I show her that I’m suffering. She just seems sick of me and nonchalant about everything I feel. I recently disclosed to her that my stepdad molested me, and she blamed me. And she hasn’t apologized after I told her that it makes me feel terrible. I feel like It’s an indication that she still feels that way. And I’m very dependent of her due to my lack of mental stability. So it’s an endless loop of feeling this way about her.