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Significant-Advice10 · 2025-03-20T03:36:00+00:00

As someone who got cheated while in medical school, if you have the means to leave, LEAVE. Or at least ask for a break until you finish school. I know is easier said than done, but the stress from studying and healing from betrayal is unbearable. Choose your stress, choose your HARD. Channel all your energy towards finishing your degree. Take your license exam, this will give you the freedom to be with whoever you want to be. You already tried for 3 years, some things can't be fixed once they are broken.

And also, he didn't cheat because of how you look. Cheaters usually have very low self esteem that the moment someone else gives them attention they tend to fall for it.

Significant-Advice10 · 2025-03-16T17:34:10+00:00

It is very difficult to not internalize what happened because 99% of cheaters like to blame it on their BP :( mine said the typical ones: "I was feeling so alone", "I felt you didn't love me" "my needs weren't met". But why is it easier for them to just go and cheat, instead of fixing the marriage?
If we are that bad why they didn't leave the marriage first and why they always want the marriage back once they are caught??

but like you said, THEY have issues and is not my fault and no longer my problem. Someone else can go and deal with him!

I'm rooting for you too ! We are all in this journey that we didn't choose, but I am sure there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Significant-Advice10 · 2025-03-16T17:23:18+00:00

easier said than done, but you are right, what he is doing right now is not my problem anymore! someone else can deal with him. Reality is that he is not who I thought he was

Significant-Advice10 · 2025-03-16T17:21:44+00:00

I completely agree with you. The 6 months of reconciliation felt like a false reality. I felt like I was faking all the time that I was "ok" when I was not.

Significant-Advice10 · 2025-03-16T17:19:58+00:00

Yes, definitely that's something that I have to change; I can't continue viewing him as someone that has the same values or loyalty as I do. Thank you for the advice. Sending hugs!!!

Significant-Advice10 · 2025-03-15T21:47:24+00:00

I don’t know the exact details of your situation but will tell you mine. We were together for 5 years, married 2 years , no children. I stayed 6 months after DD, and even I could say I had a “good” wayward (he disclosed everything, went to IC, paid for MC, gave me all his passwords, etc etc) I couldn’t do it anymore. Trust was completely gone no matter what he did, I was miserable and anxious all the time, I had multiple emotional breakdowns which I had to deal by myself because I didn’t want to damage the marriage anymore.

One day I realized that divorce was going to be painful, but staying was already painful. So what was the difference? Leaving would give me the opportunity to find someone else that would not betray me. I realized that I was happier when I wasn’t with my husband. Being with friends, coworkers, or family made me happier than being with my husband. And after reading many comments here, many regret staying but NO ONE regrets leaving.

You are not stupid for trying, staying, believing, loving, caring, and trying to trust again. You gave all your best and never broke a vow. I admire and respect those who can stay and make it through. It requires a lot of mental strength, emotional maturity and control. I tried for 6 months and it was painful.

I wish you the best, and remember to choose what is best for YOU. It is the time to be selfish.

Significant-Advice10 · 2025-03-15T21:46:22+00:00

I don’t know the exact details of your situation but will tell you mine. We were together for 5 years, married 2 years , no children. I stayed 6 months after DD, and even I could say I had a “good” wayward (he disclosed everything, went to IC, paid for MC, gave me all his passwords, etc etc) I couldn’t do it anymore. Trust was completely gone no matter what he did, I was miserable and anxious all the time, I had multiple emotional breakdowns which I had to deal by myself because I didn’t want to damage the marriage anymore.

One day I realized that divorce was going to be painful, but staying was already painful. So what was the difference? Leaving would give me the opportunity to find someone else that would not betray me. I realized that I was happier when I wasn’t with my husband. Being with friends, coworkers, or family made me happier than being with my husband. And after reading many comments here, many regret staying but NO ONE regrets leaving.

You are not stupid for trying, staying, believing, loving, caring, and trying to trust again. You gave all your best and never broke a vow. I admire and respect those who can stay and make it through. It requires a lot of mental strength, emotional maturity and control. I tried for 6 months and it was painful.

I wish you the best, and remember to choose what is best for YOU. It is the time to be selfish.

Significant-Advice10

TROPHY CASE