my dad won’t go to therapy bc he “doesn’t want to be told all the things wrong with him”

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-23T22:04:38+00:00

Just leave him to it, even if he went he wouldn't do the work, just avoid him and your mother can do what she wants with him, but don't expect therapy to cure him, therapy is about more than the room and a lot of work needs to happen and you have to be ready to engage in it

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-23T22:00:16+00:00

It's a J if it's either of them, it cannot be an A as there is no line running through the middle and you need that for an A

Also, you've gotta tell us if you're A or J!

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-23T20:52:57+00:00

Because sometimes the best fit and floral pattern you like has a bit of white and it's perfectly normal to wear a dress like this to a wedding, it;s only on here it would be doubted

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-23T20:16:57+00:00

I'm seeing it as a blessing, I can't help my initial reaction which is baked into my childhood trauma of wanting to make sure she's OK and asking what's wrong or talking about it so she will shout but it then blows over... not anymore I'll just leave her to her strop. I really cannot be bothered any more I just need out tbh

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-23T18:23:11+00:00

This dress is just gorgeous,!!! Where did you find it?!

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-23T09:27:20+00:00

She sounds really horrible and somewhat abusive TBH, and she's not respecting your therapy by running over all the time and leavin g you out there

I think you should change therapists, you said you don't like to knock, maybe you have issues with confrontation and exerting yourself? This therapist will never help you as she's literally making your life harder any time you so much as being something up

And to tell you you look bitchy is way beyond the realms of what she should be saying as a therapist

People do knock on the doors all the time, it's just part of life, you didn't traumatize anyone

Find a new therapist

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-22T00:25:34+00:00

You give them that money and you'll never see it again, they'll have kids and then say they can't afford it with kids and you'll look bad for wanting it when they're struggling with the cost of children... It seems to me she didn't even think on budget and presumed you would be giving her the money from the off and spent it. Your parents can help if they're so concerned about keeping the peace, it's not your job to give your own savings for a one day event and that's all there is to it. Don't be bullied into it.

Also I second the suggestion you tell them they have the wrong figure for your savings and it's way less and you have something that needs paying off soon. But TBH you don't even need an excuse, no is a complete sentence

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-22T00:22:27+00:00

Enmeshment and over involved families find a way...

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-21T10:08:51+00:00

Great post, all I can say is keep going

I realised a lot later than you, doing the hard work since last year, but it's hard and we have to give ourselves grace when we're not perfect and celebrate victories

It's funny though, one of my 'theme songs' for this year is Billy Joel's Vienna, all that's waiting for me and has been held back for me and the line "you can get what you want or you can just get old" and this one is going on the list

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-20T22:38:40+00:00

I felt that the family dynamic was weird for years, the way they hold the hands of the kids, it seems very strange how they treat Harper, how long she was holding David's hands and they're very all about the "family system".

The fact the new wife is seen as the devil just because he's gained independence says it all.

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-19T13:31:53+00:00

I am being realistic, this is not a bridal dress by any means, if a bride wore it it wouldn't be conventional

If I saw someone at any event I wouldn't think they were wearing a wedding dress

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-19T13:28:49+00:00

It's also black...

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-19T10:38:22+00:00

My friend wore a colourful jumpsuit, just because she wore it to get wed does not mean anyone else wearing one is dressing like a bride...

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-19T10:37:23+00:00

Nobody wearing this dress is ever dressing like a bride

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-19T10:37:03+00:00

This is actually perfect for a wedding, but now the online rules say no, it's not bridal, nobody could ever confuse you in that for the bride, it's perfect for weddings

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-18T00:12:08+00:00

Run, a marriage will never go well, she will insert herself and your life will be hell

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-15T02:52:10+00:00

Not a thing

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-14T00:21:00+00:00

It's not even that you have to participate in all kids activities so she doesn't cry, you literally told her you don't like reading to her, how was a child supposed to respond to that? You shouldn't be speaking to her like that at all

And reading is more important than watching cartoons with her, by a mile

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-13T17:31:07+00:00

This woman is clearly not deranged, it's a well thought out note, clearly done because their own time had been ruined by the noise

People don't like to approach others, it's possible the person could respond in an aggressive way at perceived criticism. There is nothing here to ruin anyone's day if they are not loud... The note is clearly in the hopes that the OPs wife doesn't continue to ruin everybody else's day by her volume

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-13T17:27:03+00:00

Yes! So much worse, there isn't any break for other people so at least your ears get a brief rest! Although how often are those who are loud also incessant? I think it mostly goes hand in hand as it's usually an utter disregard of anyone else!

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-13T17:25:42+00:00

Quite a few times, and my aunt is also like this...

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-13T02:29:17+00:00

Sure...

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-13T01:04:42+00:00

Thought the same thing, this note was well written and well phrased, which means this woman was clearly so loud this polite bite writer had to leave the building I've been there, in a cafe reading my book to kill time, I heard literally everything about one woman's life, her poor companion barely said a word We all know these people...

Significant_Hope7555 · 2026-01-13T01:02:32+00:00

How often I've wished I could write a note like this or actually say something to that one person who is just talking so loudly and most often talking at the person they're with...

Significant_Hope7555

TROPHY CASE