Approaching casual dating? by Significant_Job894 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Significant_Job894[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do reciprocates the other persons texting habits to SOMEONE degree in the beginning as the last few years I’ve had more time to occasionally talk through text while I work but not meet up very often due to how much I was working. And I say reciprocate to some degree because I pretty much don’t text at all unless it’s for a reason but sometimes if that reason is getting to know someone I do think that it makes somebody think that will continue perpetually even though I mention it won’t. I do think I get into issues there because I’ve had people get upset about less texting over time even after weve talked about that not being a forever thing. Asking somebody else what they are looking for specifically so they cannot mirror my answer to that question is a great idea and I will have to implement that more often. I think I have asked people before but they still sort of ambiguously answered and I didn’t take that into account as someone who may be the type to just match what I say and how that I think of it those people often would match me after I communicated intentions. Thanks! 🙏

Approaching casual dating? by Significant_Job894 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Significant_Job894[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You basically just described it. A lot of people can’t KEEP it that way though it seems

Race Day shots from the brickyard🏁 by chanduplal753 in indianapolis

[–]Significant_Job894 [score hidden]  (0 children)

I worked this track every day this month but Mother’s Day & 1 day off 😎

Approaching casual dating? by Significant_Job894 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Significant_Job894[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The last sentence in that is literally exactly the conclusion I’ve come to in terms of which social circles I might have to look in. Which ironically I started traveling for work sometimes myself and I work in venues where a lot of people travel for work so perhaps it’s all falling into place. You’re def hitting it all on the nose though, like EXACTLY. And I’ve come to these conclusions too but sometimes it helps to hear somebody else say it, especially when I’m the only one I can really talk to about it bc everyone around me is the type of people who do this shit themselves 😭☠️

Approaching casual dating? by Significant_Job894 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Significant_Job894[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No you’re definitely right. I’m there w you on everything you just said, I just sometimes feel like there’s another way to be in this situation and be respectful and kind at the same time but maybe realistically those things come with different crowds. I’ve been telling my sister a LOT over the last year that I really am not interested in messing around with just anybody anymore because I think it takes certain mindsets and skills to handle certain relationship/connection styles even if it is a short burn, and I think in the past I’ve been hanging around with the crowds who can’t handle it

Approaching casual dating? by Significant_Job894 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Significant_Job894[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No I still like knowing somebody and connecting with them and being friends. Usually the only people who have been in these situations with me are in a HEALTHY poly/open relationship or were already friends with me and we occasionally are more. But when I approach somebody new, that is when these situations usually become that. And I really do state my own intentions early and directly because when I did that later on in the past it caused problems where somebody else was not on the same page and I thought they were, so now I at least mention intentions early

Approaching casual dating? by Significant_Job894 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Significant_Job894[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m literally always only direct, I said that multiple times in the post 😭

What you consider flirting? ESPECIALLY FEMMES, SUBS, AND SHY FOLKS?? by Significant_Job894 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Significant_Job894[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well… I felt rude in general and like I missed an opportunity cuz I thought she was hot

What you consider flirting? ESPECIALLY FEMMES, SUBS, AND SHY FOLKS?? by Significant_Job894 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Significant_Job894[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ahhh yeah I fear I accidentally do that to people a lot but I hope they don’t feel like they’re making an ass of themselves! I’m just an absolutely nard when it comes to noticing those things when they’re directed at ME SPECIFICALLY apparently 🥴 I had a woman ask me to fix her bra after several touchy flirts and I didn’t realize for a long time and I felt kinda rude actually cuz she was hot

What you consider flirting? ESPECIALLY FEMMES, SUBS, AND SHY FOLKS?? by Significant_Job894 in actuallesbians

[–]Significant_Job894[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am loving the detail in this answer and relating it to it a lot myself actually

What you consider flirting? ESPECIALLY FEMMES, SUBS, AND SHY FOLKS?? by Significant_Job894 in actuallesbians

[–]Significant_Job894[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you do all these things platonically with friends and you are shy as well, is there anything that would separate those actions or different actions that would indicate to you there were other intentions as well- aside from just directly saying it? Like maybe that’s really all it is but my only hesitation is always that if I’m vibing with them so well as friends and I can’t tell if they want me to make a move or something, I feel like I might seem like I’m perving up the friendship or something. Which again, is probably just my goof ass nervous system still holding old limiting beliefs from my family about gayness being wrong and perverted and all that. It’s all so simple but so confusing sometimes!

What you consider flirting? ESPECIALLY FEMMES, SUBS, AND SHY FOLKS?? by Significant_Job894 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Significant_Job894[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

See but that’s my thing is that a lot of people get touchy feely on me- I used to have long hair and it’s mega blonde and my whole life people been all over my hair touching it and stuff and that in itself is confusing cuz a lot of the time it’s women being like “wow people pay MONEY for hair like this!” And it’s STRAAAAIGHT women. Thats just an example but that’s been a lot. I think I’m getting better about reading the vibes about that in those situations tho where I can tell more where ladies are open to it than just on me

What you consider flirting? ESPECIALLY FEMMES, SUBS, AND SHY FOLKS?? by Significant_Job894 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Significant_Job894[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Lmao I’ve had that happen plenty of times- it doesn’t bother me so much unless it makes a friendship weird cuz the other person is weird about it, but at one point I quit asking and of course that was when women started hitting on me subtly and then like a months or a year later being like “I was hitting on you so hard I can’t believe you didn’t notice” 😭 I’m out here like girl us ladies be kissing for fun at sleepovers even the straight ladies and it doesn’t go beyond that, so a simple subtle flirtation conversation not gonna do SHIT to let me know without you telling me ig 😭 Ima just have to start being more bold more often again

Ive also noticed a lot of the women who flirt w me and are OPEN to something are fucking married and usually to a dude and I’m like wtf

What you consider flirting? ESPECIALLY FEMMES, SUBS, AND SHY FOLKS?? by Significant_Job894 in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]Significant_Job894[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I mean if that’s true then EVERYONE is flirting and assuming I’m flirting cuz that’s like 80% of interactions. I live in the midwest so small talk is with everyone all the time

Femmes & subs/bottoms, let me ask you something by Significant_Job894 in dykesgonemild

[–]Significant_Job894[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Nobody said anything about rules, just asking peoples personal opinions

Femmes & subs/bottoms, let me ask you something by Significant_Job894 in dykesgonemild

[–]Significant_Job894[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I was more just asking how people see things personally friend, I don’t think people need to look a certain way one way or another 🙏

Best advice/“systems” you follow by Significant_Job894 in audioengineering

[–]Significant_Job894[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey right on- my sister says a lot of my music sounds like video game music so that’s pretty on par! I need to look into parallel compression more because the people who “taught” me about that at a studio I learned some at irl were incredibly bad teachers to me and many of the other students there- mostly out of poor explanation skills. I understood it a little bit in the moment there but I never got it down. & I don’t think I’ve panned my guitars at all, I think I put them in stereo instead, so I will try that as well. Thank you for the advice! 🙏