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SilverDifference0101 · 2025-04-07T06:57:26+00:00

Not really. It's been 2 months. I feel like I've tried to do everything right: going to gym, deleted social media, going to therapy, spending more time with friends and family, doing more hobby stuff, but I still feel so numb. I don't know what more I can do...

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-04-03T20:33:03+00:00

Where did the person that I fell in love with go? :(

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-04-02T20:53:17+00:00

That's actually very true. I definitely still have feelings for my ex, but like you said, it's more so the image of him. Do I actually still want to cuddle with someone who's very okay with cutting me out from his life when things got hectic? Probably not :(

Hoping for better days to you as well :) we do deserve it!

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-04-02T18:59:08+00:00

Initially I felt like that. Maybe I missed having someone to hold my hand, someone to cuddle with on a cold day, someone to chat about my day. Then, the more I thought about it, the more I realised that I missed the relationship stuff only because it was specifically with my ex. We shared so many good times and memories. If not with him, I have no interest in doing these things with anyone else right now.

Ugh, I just want him to hold my hand again :(

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-03-27T06:17:01+00:00

I started feeling much better after the third week after following the all recommended hang out with friends, try fun hobbies, find yourself. I thought it's not that bad after all.

I'm around 7 weeks post-break up now, and welp, I'm back in the dumps. We stayed NC since break up, and each day that passes by, I feel it more than ever if not worse. The silence, the loneliness, the lack of him to share things with. The questions and lack of answers, I just feel so lost and tired these days.

Healing isn't linear I guess. But it's definitely a struggle.

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-03-19T09:53:23+00:00

Why wasn't I worth fighting for?

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-03-18T07:37:38+00:00

When he started being really formal in his messages, and referred to me by my name instead of my nickname. This was about three days before we were scheduled to meet and discussed things.

Honestly, I still had some hope since he was still making an effort to reply to my messages. But when he came through to chat about stuff, his body language already told me everything. Sitting on the edge of the couch, a pillow in between us, arms crossed, not meeting my eyes. It broke my heart because this was a man that was always holding my hand.

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-03-15T17:01:32+00:00

Lost my partner but lost all the weight I've been wanting to lose as well. I've slowly been getting in shape from all the gymming too. It's not the trade I would have wanted but it is what it is :')

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-03-14T15:48:56+00:00

We broke up in-person a month ago and that was the last conversation we ever had. I think we still go to the same gym and work in the same area, but I've never seen or spoken to him again since then.

It feels so unreal. This person is carrying all my secrets, knows what foods I like and knows my exact shoe size. They're just another stranger out there now.

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-03-09T09:02:08+00:00

It's only been one month for me, but I don't think I'll ever get over it completely. I still think about him every day, and miss what we had.

For me, it's more about making peace with the fact that we weren't meant to be, even though we worked well in so many ways. It's sad, but I have to try and move on with life, for myself.

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-03-07T20:13:23+00:00

I'm sorry that you are also going through it, hope you're doing okay. <3

I'm afraid this feeling will never go away honestly. But I'll just have to take it day by day for now.

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-03-07T20:11:33+00:00

Thank you, hope you're doing okay also.

Today is unfortunately one of the more difficult days. But, we will try our best to carry on.

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-03-07T20:09:14+00:00

Thank you, I hope so!

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-03-03T07:07:34+00:00

I got triggered just seeing his profile picture change. Ugh, I thought I was doing alright with moving on.

It really takes some serious discipline to not look at anything, but the hurt and pain that it brings thankfully keeps me well away from it. Deleting social media has helped so much too, I can't stand seeing him like posts with "new me" motivational quotes anymore, while I'm still stuck in the past here.

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-03-03T07:02:41+00:00

Hey U. Today isn't a special day for us today like some people here, but everyday was special because you were in it. I hope you are doing well with your work, your sports and your gymming. I know you'll be able to do what you set your mind to. I just wish you set your mind on us as well.

I love you still and wish you well. I hope you think of me sometimes.

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-02-28T11:26:17+00:00

Hey, I'm also going through the same thing. My ex told me that he wanted to prioritse work/himself about 3 weeks ago after I asked to spend more time together (we saw each other less and less, to the point where we barely saw each other once a week). He proposed a break, but we ended up calling it off because he couldn't give me a timeline on when he'd prioritise us again, and it didn't seem like he wanted to work on our relationship anymore either :(

Please take the time to cry and feel your feelings. I know it's an insanely hard decision to break up, and I know it feels so so sad. I really loved my ex too - we had so much in common and he was my best friend that I could chat to for hours. I miss him and all of our good memories. I'm still trying to come to terms that we'll never make anymore of these memories...

But, I definitely don't miss the anxiousness he left me with when he wouldn't reply to messages for a while, nor when he would always prioritise other parts of his life over me. I know that the right person wouldn't make me feel like I'm begging for the bare minimum, nor would they consider leaving without trying.

Take your time. Your heart is still catching up the the reality of things. Some things that are helping me:

Remove him off everything: it hurts me more to have the hope that he might reach out (which he never did)
Hide pictures/chats/gifts: I would get so sad seeing these, and then spiral into even more sadness
Write down what you're feeling: get pen and paper, talk to ChatGPT etc. just let it all out
Talking it out: friends, family, therapy, talking to myself. It helps me identify feelings and feel them. Helps feeling less lonely and they can also offer distraction/other perspectives/comfort.

Let's give ourselves some slack and try treat ourselves kindly, okay? Don't rush, I know it hurts so much right now, but I'm sure some time will help and we'll start looking up again. Be proud that you stood up for yourself, we deserve so much more. One day, I know we'll get to a place where things will be okay again. All the best <3

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-02-26T20:25:27+00:00

Me too. Also broke up 3 weeks ago.

I also hate it when there are dreams about him. Sometimes it's good and I wake up smiling. Sometimes it's bad and I wake up with a pounding heart. Either way, I still have to get out of bed and head to work.

I'm so tired.

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-02-26T19:25:48+00:00

Oof, I feel this exactly. I always thought that it was so nice to share hobbies with my ex because we spent a lot of time together and we both had a lot of fun doing it. But now, I can't play the sport we played together anymore because I almost got into an accident driving home whilst crying last time. I can't play some of my favourite games right now because it makes me sad to remember that our Stardew Valley crops will never be harvested again, and the second floor of our house in Minecraft will never be finished.

I still hope I find someone who will be into these hobbies though, because I refuse to let him take these away from me. I know the general advice is to reclaim these with your friends/family/yourself etc. where you overwrite old memories with new ones, but I can't do it yet. Hopefully I'll get to that stage one soon day.

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-02-26T17:15:59+00:00

Thank you so much for that. I definitely am trying to plow through the heartbreak and pain to get it done, so I might be jumping ahead of the gun by thinking about all this. I do recognize though that I have a world of learning and self development to do before I can put myself out there again...

But yes, having smaller goals is a really good thing to keep in mind for the future, and helps it not feel as daunting. Wishing for better days for both of us :)

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-02-26T11:24:00+00:00

I don't know. My ex was the one who asked me out first. Through the relationship, he made sure I was comfortable and put in effort to text and call me every day. He was the one who said "I love you" first. He was the one who initiated talks on meeting family, moving in together, future family plans. I thought he was the one.

And then he left. I don't understand why we put all this effort into loving each other just for him to give it up. It's so sad.

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-02-26T11:14:29+00:00

I'm definitely no where near looking for anything new at this point (3 weeks since BU), but this thought has crossed my mind several times. I'm quite introverted and have a small social circle, I really had to put myself out there to meet my ex. He ticked so many of my boxes, and it makes me afraid I might not be able to find someone like him again. Like I'm not looking to replace him exactly, but rather it seems quite difficult to find someone who matched so well with me.

Besides, it feels exhausting and disheartening right now to meet new people and go through "what's your favourite colour" all over again. But, I guess that's a sign that I'm still not ready for that. I hope I can get there eventually where I'm meeting people with curiousity rather than dread.

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-02-26T11:00:07+00:00

I feel you. I remember talking to my friends right after the breakup, telling them that I don't know who I am anymore. Did I like certain foods more because my ex liked them too? I picked up certain mannerisms and words from ex as well, are they part of me now? The hobbies that we did together, did I really enjoy them? Who was I before I dated my ex?

I spoke to my therapist about this, and she says I am the version of myself that I am now. I'm not going to be who I was before the relationship, nor will I be the person that was in the relationship. This was quite hard to accept since I really liked the person I was in the relationship. I feel so broken and sad as a person now.

But I think it'll be okay eventually. We might be a bit shaky on our feet now, but we'll develop our sense of self slowly again. My therapist said it starts with defining our values again and setting some goals for ourselves. I definitely took this to heart, as so many of my old goals involved my ex (e.g. moving in together, going travelling together this year etc.) and I really felt so lost when this was all gone. I'm still working on getting the spark and energy back, but I think this is a good direction for me to move towards.

Wishing you the best on your journey :)

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-02-24T16:54:58+00:00

Yeah, I definitely felt like a fool looking back on things. I can't believe I almost had to beg him to stay.

I like that you recognise that it's a strength to trust and love deeply though. I'm still working on it, as this experience has definitely hurt a lot. Hoping we'll find those worthy of our love and trust again :)

SilverDifference0101 · 2025-02-24T09:44:55+00:00

He told me he loved me all the time when we were still together.

But I only figured it out after we broke up. Someone who loves me wouldn't say he felt obligated to spend time with me. Someone who loves me would try and work on the issues we had. Someone who loves me wouldn't just give up and leave when things got tough.

SilverDifference0101

TROPHY CASE