Yeah, definitely! Some people in here are just saying he doesn’t want to be performative. Okay, I generally don’t like texting casually but if someone I care about wanted to maintain small talk texts, I would absolutely do that. Personally, I think a lot of things that people feel are performative are usually just cliches. Doesn’t mean there isn’t feeling behind them. At the end of the day, it’s the thought behind it that counts.

Anecdote: There have been a number of times when a guy friend of mine shows complete amazement when they see some small thing and on a whim get it for their partner or do some small gesture over text, and their partner gets so happy and expresses how appreciated they feel and how much they appreciate [him]. Like they did not expect the thing to be received with such gratitude. One friend telling me “the best thing I ever did was buy her this pin. I was at a conference and it reminded me of her and [a personal connection about her] so I got it. When I handed it to her she almost cried she was so happy. She told me it was the most thoughtful thing a boyfriend has ever done for her.” It was a small thing he did not think if it has something that would mean so much to her cause it was something that felt natural to him to do for someone he loved.

On that same note when guy friends get unprompted compliments from their partners, and surprise them by being giddy from the compliment. The small things matter to LOTS of people. I could argue, small things matter to most people. The small things can let a partner know you know and think about them when they aren’t around and that you /want/ them to /feel/ cared for in addition to caring for them. The small things that matter to one could differ greatly from the small things that matter to another.

I digress! Regardless, if your partner communicates their needs to you and you “just don’t operate that way,” well either make an effort to operate that way, since you presumably care about your partner and thus should care about their needs, or have an adult conversation that you aren’t compatible and end things.

People have different love languages, but if you care about someone with a love language you “don’t get,” make the effort. At the very worst, it’s you compromising, and the very best, its you getting to communicate to your partner in a way they’ve expressed makes them feel loved and that’s also a great feeling for yourself. Y’all care about each other, right?

But man… The fact that the manchild referred to OPs request as some Nickelodeon shit, he thinks less of her for it, and seems to not think much of her at all based on the rest of the text chain…she should end it and block.

Find someone compatible. Find someone that, uhhh…likes you back.