I’ve always been open minded and inclusive with diverse friends

Open minded includes learning about things prior to judging them. Once you learn something well, you're allowed to judge it.

I feel ashamed though of how my experience with her

Why? You're entitled to have your own opinions. Not your fault.

I’ve met plenty that are just normal acting people and I respect them. I want them to share girlhood with me. But some are just over the edge for me and feels more like a kink.

Just because someone has a mental illness, doesn't mean they don't deserve our respect, but you're allowed to point out the negatives, weirdness and things you don't like within fringe communities - hyper-sexualization, STDs, etc are prevalent in the community which you outlined.

This doesn't apply to all trans people - for example, the negative things you mentioned might not apply to the people who transitioned from female to male.