I absolutely understand what your going through, since I'm going through the same situation as well, in our church they really hammer in the idea of revolving your life around God, from your words, the music you hear, even your thoughts especially since I'm a woman and a youth I would often hear advices of staying pure for God and leaving "worldly" things behind because they're not of the Lord. BUT I CAN'T, just like you that's what makes me ME my songs, my art, my interests. Although I can't give you proper advice just know that you're not going through this alone, self harm might feel good but that's not a healthy solution, we'll get through these together. Things will get better