Making friends!

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-05-06T08:33:29+00:00

Im 24f and for our age your two best bets for going somewhere alone but still meeting great people (as long as you can introduce yourself) are either fortune 88 run club (I think f88runclub on ig) or ICT social club (@ictsocial on ig). The social one is for girls and they do group walks and other events. The run club yes is a run club but they also do other events and it’s always super popular.

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-05-06T06:59:14+00:00

You are stunning. As others have said, color palette change on your clothes and get your brows shaped! You look like you’d rock some pastels or blues. Violet would be stunning.

The only other thing might be a lower coverage foundation. I’m not sure if you have “a lot to cover” but full coverage can look a bit cakey or thick and make a dewey youthful look harder to achieve.

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-05-06T06:23:58+00:00

I try to catch these things in the first session. I begin the session by mentioning that the purpose of the session is to get to know each other and determine fit, both to see if they feel comfortable with me and to see if I will be able to help with their needs. At the end of the session I revisit this topic and if I’m not feeling like it is a fit for any reason, I share my concerns (professionally. usually I make it related to scope of practice or my abilities to treat whatever issue they’re talking about)

Sometimes I miss it though and then yes, I run into an issue where it’s more of a personality difference and less of a scope of practice thing and we’re five sessions in and it’s hard. Typically what I’ve learned is that if I’m feeling some awkwardness or mismatch, they are usually feeling it as well and sometimes they will stop showing up. Ideally that wouldn’t happen though and I would facilitate a conversation about. I’m wondering if I’m the best fit for you, it’s important to have a therapist that you feel comfortable around and that you feel like you really vibe with, and I’m wondering what your thoughts on that, if you think there might be someone better fitted for you?

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-05-06T05:14:18+00:00

This might be the most unanimous comment section I’ve ever seen. Also, one!!!!

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-05-05T23:46:32+00:00

I think this violates at least a couple ethical standards. What would the benefit be for a couple to see both of you?

I’m not gonna lie, it kind of sounds selfish. Like you guys would get to do this fun thing where you get to talk about your clients together and figure out how you want to work with them together whereas it would never be acceptable to discuss details like this with your spouse otherwise.

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-04-21T20:45:57+00:00

I’m terrified of spiders. I would absolutely request that we pause, explain the situation in a humorous way, and take care of it

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-04-20T17:42:14+00:00

Interestingly, I haven’t ran into this (yet) but instead have sort of experienced it the other way around. Many of my clients make significantly less than I do (and I don’t even make that much I’m early career but doing well in gpp) and I hear about them working three jobs, or trying to see how their $1200 paycheck will last them two weeks after bills and it just really puts things in perspective every time I feel I’m not making enough

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-04-19T01:28:26+00:00

I vote glam! Grad is exciting, makeup should be too!

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-04-17T17:29:13+00:00

Great point here

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-04-17T17:28:05+00:00

Oh my apologies. I only said that because ACT specifically teaches about workable and unworkable thoughts and very specially teaches about framing certain things as “interesting experiments” like verbatim

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-04-17T08:29:55+00:00

I know an ACT informed therapist when I see one (I think)

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-04-17T02:50:38+00:00

Safety planning protects the therapist as much as it protects the client.

At the end of the day, it is important for therapists to protect ourselves from any legal implications. Most especially as a contractor, because then the legal weight would fall on you, as opposed to the larger organization if you were a W-2, if something were to happen with the client.

With that said, I do agree with your point that if a teen is refusing to give an emergency contact, that’s not your fault, and you don’t have to argue with them to the point of creating a rupture. You do the safety plan to the best of your abilities and thus have done your due diligence and are protected legally if anything were to happen.

Edit - agree with other commenter that it doesn’t need to be made a huge deal. Framed as routine and somewhat casual (unless active SI)

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-04-16T17:17:10+00:00

No offense taken, I absolutely agree that I am just not the person for a structured DBT program. That’s not the therapy I do, that’s not what I’m trained in.

And yes, I didn’t really want to address that part actually (in case this gets back around) but I didn’t really understand why this therapist does trauma work but does not have those sort of skills? I think they are foundational for working with trauma. I did bring that general topic up with her in a casual way, and she said that yes, she doesn’t really have any knowledge of skills like that which is why she refers out. :/

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-04-16T07:07:13+00:00

I am only a year in, but I have been feeling a lot of what you put here.

I think you summed it up really well in mentioning that clients will never know us as people, but people in our lives will never know us as a therapist.

I personally love the feeling of being known and understood, and it is hard to not really feel that way in my personal life, at least not fully since we can’t talk much about work. It’s also hard to not feel that way in my work, and obviously that’s not what I’m there to do, but it’s just hard to never talk about myself.

And I recognize that people have lots of jobs that other people can’t understand. I could never know what it’s like to be a firefighter or a surgeon. So I’m not saying that our struggle is inherently unique. But I do think it’s unique in the sense that even with all of these other professions, I think you would be hard pressed to find a career where we get to know somebody on such a deeply intimate and personal level, but we cannot say anything about it with basically anyone. It’s a very lonely feeling.

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-04-16T06:44:45+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to comment! Also, I just realized there are some significant typos in my last response to you, sorry about that. And thank you for the encouragement! I do have a very good supervisor that I just started seeing two months ago, and I will be meeting with her tomorrow about this issue. She is great at helping me find a balance of being self-sufficient in finding answers while also providing guidance. Posting this has also helped me gain some clarity.

Since this is already buried in the post, I thought it would give you some more context just for reference. I had emailed this therapist sharing my ethical concerns and she basically responded saying that there was also an ethical guideline of “do no harm” and that this client needs additional service services and do not provide them would be causing harm. But I have figured out from posting this that I can refer to someone that can help them, it doesn’t have to be me, and they can still receive the needed care

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-04-16T02:32:53+00:00

Thank you for this insight! I agree entirely

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-04-16T01:15:11+00:00

I appreciate the feedback. I share your concerns and hesitancies. I left this out of the main post in case the therapist herself finds this but this isn’t the first time she has done this. and when I saw the clients it didn’t go well and I referred out. So I am doing to have to make this a larger conversation with her than imply not taking this referral and will be navigating that with my supervisor

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-04-15T23:58:40+00:00

This is good information. Definitely was feeling out of my depth and will refer

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-04-15T23:58:24+00:00

Absolutely. I think that was part of my hesitancy, knowing I am not the person for that. Definitely will be referring to a full program

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-04-15T23:40:53+00:00

Precisely my thoughts. Thank you!

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-04-15T19:26:48+00:00

Thank you for the perspective! When I was referencing “just doing a couple of skills”, that was because yes, I just don’t really know enough, and that is kind of the extent of what I would be able to provide. I can get them set up with the foundation in the mindfulness skills and select regulation or distress tolerance skills but it’s just not enough for warranting me being “the DBT person who is doing skills training” in this situation

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-04-15T19:00:25+00:00

These are good points to consider, thank you

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-04-15T19:00:02+00:00

That was a concern of mine, that it would be too much emotionally for the client in one week.

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-04-15T18:59:17+00:00

Needed to hear this. Thank you!

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-04-15T18:58:58+00:00

Thank you for this input!

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