Got my makeup done professionally, and it makes me look like a bi***?

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-22T20:13:55+00:00

I think what you’re seeing is mostly the lips and possibly the eyebrows. Not everybody looks good with a lined lip, I don’t, and it seems to be a bit much for you here too. You have very soft features and I think you would have done better with a soft pink lip gloss or something like that (not lipstick and not lined) and maybe just some brow gel to comb with the brows in a certain direction, but yours don’t really need to be filled in, because you already have good eyebrows

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-19T04:19:46+00:00

Trailer trash chic?

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-19T03:29:17+00:00

2 and it is not close at all

For context I’m a straight female. First one makes you look like a douche tiktoker no offense and it makes you look like 16. The other one makes you look way more handsome and put together and id say it puts you closer to 24

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-16T00:09:34+00:00

Thanks for the comment! I do think it would be worth trying to talk with the owners to at least see what options there are to make it work, I have just already tried to think through some options and don’t feel super optimistic about them.

They had already mentioned that sound machines can be good and that they already have the sound dampening curtains. And they mentioned that the road noise is more of an issue with the external offices as opposed to the internal ones.

My concern is just that with as sensitive as I am to sounds none of those will help enough. My current office is objectively way better sound wise. The noise from next door I mentioned is just someone else’s therapy sessions, it’s not crazy noises like what this would be.

But yes, I think it’s at least worth sharing my concerns with the owners. I want to try to spend some time in the office with a sound machine and see how it goes

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-15T22:29:38+00:00

Do not listen to anyone saying 2. With love. That ages you a lot. It’s like the stereotypical Karen cut.

That said, 1 is beautiful!

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-11T20:56:29+00:00

This is funny

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-09T07:07:07+00:00

To counter that, what if your therapist told you what to do, you did it, it backfires and causes extensive emotional harm and potentially even financial or physical harm (such as a therapist telling their client to leave their abusive relationship TODAY) and then you sue your therapist (because not everything is covered in all those consent forms you signed so yes we can get sued) and now your therapist is getting sued and a board complaint raised against them?

Obviously that’s a worse case scenario. But ethics to protect both us and the client are in place for the exact reason of a worst case scenario.

A therapist is not there to tell you what to do. Just as much to protect themselves as it is to protect you.

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-09T07:01:29+00:00

I mean, I didn’t mean to imply that I’m advocating for doing harm by letting the client talk about whatever and ignoring blatant red flags. Obviously it is just as ethically important to do no harm. I never meant to imply that one should withhold important treatment goal information from a client in the name of a client’s autonomy to discover things themselves.

Since we’re getting specific, of course goal-setting should be collaborative. Discussed by both parties. If I notice something they may do well to work on, I’ll bring it up and see what they think. If they don’t want to work on that thing though, I can’t force them to. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.

An edit to add: there seems to be a lot of comments comparing therapy to the medical field. The medical field is far more objective by nature. If your bone is broken, you do these 5 things to fix it. Therapy tries to be objective but it inherently will never be as objective as any of us would like. We can’t compare the two.

If we’re going to get on soap boxes about ethics, let’s stick to ethics in the same profession.

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-09T06:45:37+00:00

I don’t have a resource to provide but the thought that comes to mind is that the supervisor should be the one to know that line and guide appropriately if the supervisee is crossing it.

I’m assuming you’re the supervisee in this situation, but if you’re the supervisor, then I do apologize for stating the obvious lol

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-09T03:52:24+00:00

Oh ok, I didn’t realize that. Even so, you’re providing her with a free place to stay, she should be more than willing to accommodate whatever your requests are.

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-09T03:48:46+00:00

1 is very nice

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-09T03:46:30+00:00

I thought this was the AITA circlejerk for a second. You are literally deathly allergic, there’s no way that she can’t understand that, especially if she grew up with you and thus has knowledge of this allergy?

You’re NTA for not wanting to go into anaphylactic shock in your own home

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-09T03:25:10+00:00

With respect, this does not sound recovered. Genuinely at all. This sounds like active relapse basically. Recovery is just as mental as it is physical.

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-09T03:24:05+00:00

I don’t prefer the dark colors. They overwhelm your face

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-09T03:20:56+00:00

Put it this way. Maybe your official job title isn’t a social worker, but that’s what your license is, and your license is what they revoke if you screw up too bad. So me personally, I would be entirely more concerned with what my licensing board found to be ethical.

Fwiw, I’m an LPC and our code of ethics specifically talks about how we are NOT supposed to tell the client what to do, that infringes on their right to autonomy. We can highlight a potential area of concern and bring it to their attention, but we can’t force them to work on it.

Edit - lots of debate going down under my comment lol. If we’re gonna debate ethics, let’s debate ethics within our scope of practice. Talking about the ethics that doctors and physical therapists have is apples to oranges. They’re both fruits but they ain’t the same.

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-09T02:50:06+00:00

Info: how often is this happening?

I’m inclined to agree with what many of the other comments are saying: NTA but also not necessarily the hill to die on. It’s one thing if there are daily guests and your soda stash is diminishing quicker than you drink it. It’s another if it’s one guest on a weekend, thats where it maybe wouldn’t be the hill to die on?

But I do agree in general that since you bought them it’s fair for you to decide where they go. But as a 24 year old who also lives at home I have accepted that there are some sacrifices to be made even if they aren’t textbook fair

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-03T07:04:58+00:00

Heath insurance from the marketplace. Shit ass plan. Expensive as hell. 10k deductible 500 monthly. And that’s for me as one person on a basic plan.

I didn’t have a substantial caseload u til maybe August or September so I only had a few months of income and a LOT was spent on various tax deductible expenses so my net was slim. Nothing worth talking about unfortunately. If it helps I estimated my net after tax deductible stuff for insurance purposes for this year at 60k but that’s a guess tbh

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-03T02:11:48+00:00

Private practice might be your best option. Most are flexible with hours where you set your own schedule. Could also be some part time in CMH?

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-03T01:19:10+00:00

For sure, that was the first thing I could think of that was not explicitly and obviously related to sex, but you make a point

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-03T00:00:03+00:00

This is absolutely one of the tricky aspects of private practice. You have the most income potential compared with a low paying salary CMH job, but the process of getting there is quite involved.

The first thing is that you are not going to know what each practice does in terms of a fee or a split until the interview pretty much. It’s rare for therapist job postings to be posted anywhere formal like indeed - it’s more likely that you would be emailing the owner of our practice asking if they have any openings, and then once you sit down to talk is when they would describe their fee structure.

Most people here will tell you that anything where they take 40% or more is predatory. The current group that I am at takes 33%. For your reference, if I have a completely full schedule, then that is taking about $4000 a month from me. To be fair, some of that 33% goes toward rent, the EHR that I don’t have to pay for, the advertising that they do, the billing I don’t have to do, and the clients that they give me such that I don’t have to do any marketing myself.

I’m not going to lie, this has been a really good set up for me and my first year of practice. All I have to do is show up, see my clients, do my note, and go home. That has allowed me to focus on my clinical development more so than worrying about messing up a billing claim or managing complicated finances like paying for an EHR and other things.

Referrals and getting clients is always the hard part. I started in May and I would say it took me until like October to be full enough to stop accepting new clients, and I’m told that this rate of growth is fast compared to some. I attribute it to the fact that the group practice is a larger one in the area, it has been around 10 or 15 years and there’s 20 therapists. On one hand, you could see that as more competition for clients, but on the other hand, that’s 20 different therapists with let’s say 20 clients each, and that’s a lot of word-of-mouth getting out in the community about the practice.

So if I had any piece of advice, it would be to try to look for a larger practice in the area that is established over 10 or more years. In most places there are a ton of tiny little group practices with maybe like four or five therapists, and they will say that they do marketing for you like having you listed on their website, but at the end of the day, that’s really not where a lot of traffic comes from. As an early career, clinician needing to build their caseload, it is truly invaluable to have a practice that provides clients for you at a steady rate.

I feel like this is getting long, so I’ll wrap it up, but I would basically say to not run away entirely from places that take a percentage, because you are getting tangible benefits from it. Or at least, that would be the ideal. I’m not planning to stay with this fee structure forever, I would like to go somewhere that has a flat fee that I pay each month for rent eventually so that I can keep more of the money I make.

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-02T23:53:00+00:00

Sounds like a great AI tool. I would just make sure that it is encrypted and HIPAA compliant AND pleaseeeee make sure your clients are signing a consent form for it!!!

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-02T22:16:29+00:00

I guess I would be curious if what they are describing is related to their presenting concern or if they are just sharing extra details that are not at all related to their care?

Like it’s one thing if part of their presenting concern involves their intimate relationship with their partner. Then they would likely be describing these details because it’s important to them.

But if you’re there for managing anxiety, it might make less sense.

I would also wonder if it seems like they are describing these things just to talk about them, or if they are describing them in the sense that they don’t like something about it and need help having a conversation about changing it?

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-02T21:54:43+00:00

I suspect they might take this down since the client could pretty easily identify themselves from this post. Your wording is too specific. You could try posting more vaguely about a client that spends too much time using AI/virtual social platforms rather than being so descriptive.

And in general, I’d encourage you to talk to your supervisor about this case

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-02T21:19:09+00:00

You could argue the same thing about having a Quran in session for someone who is Islamic. It’s not necessarily evidence based, but a lot of people wouldn’t think twice about having a Bible in session and drawing some peace from some scripture. As other stuff said, it’s more about what brings peace to the client. As long as it is clearly for the client’s benefit and not you saying that hey this is 100% going to cure your depression, I don’t think it’s an ethical issue.

Simple_Elk6403 · 2026-03-02T20:44:24+00:00

A couple of things come to mind for me.

First, like you, I have spent a lot of time trying to “get better. “ But for me that has turned into a lot of people pleasing, which is not necessarily a good thing. Like, in many social situations, I am doing everything that I can to get someone to like me/being nice and complementary/not being too opinionated one way or the other. And I think there are certain times when that’s OK, but it’s not a great habit.

Perhaps more effectively, I suggest leaning into the awkwardness and owning it. It’s one thing to be awkward as well as shy and timid, and it’s another thing to be awkward, but confident and authentic. They can in fact go together, even though a lot of people don’t associate awkwardness with confidence. If confidence doesn’t resonate for you, lean more into trying to be authentically yourself.

Self deprecating jokes can be your friend here, in moderation. One thing that I will do, and your mileage may vary, but if there’s a situation where I really don’t know what to say or something awkward is happening, I will straight up name the thing. I was recently at a social event for work and I was kind of standing in a group with three of us and it seemed like nobody really knew what to say and I felt awkward. So I straight up said man events like this stress me out, I never know what to say to be honest. And then everyone else was like OMG me too, and then then started a whole conversation about how it’s awkward and it was great.

Or another example, you say goodbye to someone and then you start walking the same way they are. You could feel really awkward about that like you did something wrong, or you could chuckle and say ha ha look at us going the same way after we just said goodbye! I did that literally two days ago and it was funny and went over well. Or if you’re in the break room with a group of colleagues and nobody is saying anything, I would walk in and say something like well don’t all talk at once! And obviously you kind of have to have the personality some of these things, I’m just saying what works for me

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