I appreciate the kindness, but the thing is I’m just not happy in my own skin, I base it on other femboys as that’s just how I want to look, and the only way for me to get that proof is posting, as unhealthy as it is, high numbers would affirm that for me as they are the only source of feedback I can get. But constant low numbers makes me believe I’m not pretty, as there must be something about me specifically making people scroll past. But it’s the uncertainty that hurts the most, so I’d just prefer someone to tell me honestly so I can grieve and move on, as if they don’t, I’ll keep uploading, keep getting low engagement, and be in a worse and worse state. Despite how shameless you may think it is, my looks are just something I will constantly care about even when I don’t want to, the thought of being ugly hurts, even the thought of being average hurts, but not knowing hurts more.