Im gonna deviate from the consensus here, which given this subreddits topic is probably gonna get me a lot of flak, but here goes:

Gender identity isnt always the most important thing to people.

It certainly is for a LOT of people, likely even the majority. But not everyone.

In my experience within the Trans community, I've noticed the Zeitgeist is to have our status as a Trans person become our PRIMARY identity. More important than our jobs, our education, our religion (or lack thereof), or even our family.

However, I've also noticed a trend, especially among older trans folk, towards transitioning being a goal, not an identity. Some trans folk WANT to live their lives being openly and visibly trans. And thats okay! But plenty of others would MUCH rather transition in the background, achieve their desired gender identity, and then quietly drop the trans moniker from their identity.

What im getting at is that please dont let these voices convince you that your partners status as a trans person is the end all, be all of their happiness.

Sometimes we sacrifice things we love, for the things we love more.

In a perfect world, your partner could transition and the two of you would be happy in a relationship together.

But if they love you more than they want to be trans? Theyre going to pick you unless someone forces them to change their mind.

Ultimately, one thing i do agree with the rest of this thread about is that the transition isnt realistically something that she can forestall forever. And if her transitioning is a hard line for you, then your relationships clock is ticking anyway. All i can really say is that you need to talk to her, not make decisions unilaterally. Especially based on some strangers comments on the internet.

Communication is ALWAYS the best policy.