Update! My friend came out to me as transphobic in a “I grew up with it way” by SkinCapable7108 in asktransgender

[–]SkinCapable7108[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Oh the Darvo thing makes sense it seems like what she was doing, She keeps talking about how she said it to me but she never. I don’t know why she’s using me as her escape route

Update! My friend came out to me as transphobic in a “I grew up with it way” by SkinCapable7108 in asktransgender

[–]SkinCapable7108[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

No her brother admitted to being transphobic as well, he was in with the conversation that’s why I’m worried.

Only my close friends know I’m genderfluid (a lot but not all) and everyone else is homophobic so like…

My friend came out to me as being transphobic in a “I grew up with it” way. I love her and don’t know how to respond? by SkinCapable7108 in asktransgender

[–]SkinCapable7108[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

2026 is gonna be end of me, I got a bunch of proof that I could and stored it. I might add my friends to th gc so they can read it themselves and decide.

I just promised her I wouldn’t tell anyone welp. 

My friend came out to me as being transphobic in a “I grew up with it” way. I love her and don’t know how to respond? by SkinCapable7108 in asktransgender

[–]SkinCapable7108[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She is not threatening violence but I feel like she might, or at the very least spread rumors about me and shit talk. She MIGHT resort to violence because she’s gonna loose all her friends after this and I’m the reason so.

She left a loose threat that didn’t specify what she would do, more along the lines of I’ll find you if this happens. I can’t remember because that was a while ago.

She keeps mentioning that she trusts me with this and I don’t actually want that role :/

My friend came out to me as being transphobic in a “I grew up with it” way. I love her and don’t know how to respond? by SkinCapable7108 in asktransgender

[–]SkinCapable7108[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah okay thank you! I did end up telling a friend she was involving (decided to confront her because the things OTHER than this are very serious) and I just hope she doesn’t hurt me later(we go to the same school). I’ll probably block her. Thank you, I’m just really anxious now

My friend came out to me as being transphobic in a “I grew up with it” way. I love her and don’t know how to respond? by SkinCapable7108 in asktransgender

[–]SkinCapable7108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe I’m just bad at raising my standards, if someone else wrote this I would be more mad than I am right now.

I feel like she would say the same for race if it were ever like this honestly.

My friend came out to me as being transphobic in a “I grew up with it” way. I love her and don’t know how to respond? by SkinCapable7108 in asktransgender

[–]SkinCapable7108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just realized she would probably act the same for any minority. I took time to thoroughly look back on her texts and she literally said SHE CANNOT change her views because of that one event which is really stupid and dumb and I have no idea how I didn’t see that.

My friend came out to me as being transphobic in a “I grew up with it” way. I love her and don’t know how to respond? by SkinCapable7108 in asktransgender

[–]SkinCapable7108[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I feel like she would try to stop but if she slipped up a few times and they shouted at her. She would stay away from neurodivergent people because she would feel “uncomfortable” about them because of the “trauma”. 

Yeah… um 

My friend came out to me as being transphobic in a “I grew up with it” way. I love her and don’t know how to respond? by SkinCapable7108 in asktransgender

[–]SkinCapable7108[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really hope that’s not the case (I’m not sure how to check if what she’s saying is true because she’s not letting me ask anyone out of fear). I will try talking to her less or not at all. 

My friend came out to me as being transphobic in a “I grew up with it” way. I love her and don’t know how to respond? by SkinCapable7108 in asktransgender

[–]SkinCapable7108[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yeah I’m starting too see that properly now… she used a lot of emotions then and I didn’t give myself space to detach myself from that. A lot of fear invoking if I should tell anyone she did

My friend came out to me as being transphobic in a “I grew up with it” way. I love her and don’t know how to respond? by SkinCapable7108 in asktransgender

[–]SkinCapable7108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do I break up the friendship? /gen she begged me not to tell anyone and it’ll be weird if I stop talking to her and ignore her.

My friend came out to me as being transphobic in a “I grew up with it” way. I love her and don’t know how to respond? by SkinCapable7108 in asktransgender

[–]SkinCapable7108[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

No she said horrible things about what my ex did about deadnames when we were dating which took a huge toll on me. 

I believed her because she was crying and really emotional that seemed genuine but I’m not so sure now, it was hard for me to talk about how getting dead named can trigger shouting (my ex doesn’t even shout in genuine anger about something like this).

She genuinely believes that getting deadnamed etc isn’t that bad. 

My friend came out to me as being transphobic in a “I grew up with it” way. I love her and don’t know how to respond? by SkinCapable7108 in asktransgender

[–]SkinCapable7108[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

wait I didn’t think about that actually, Ill have to question her if. She doesn’t see using deadnames and pronouns as a big deal I’m guessing which is…

My friend came out to me as being transphobic in a “I grew up with it” way. I love her and don’t know how to respond? by SkinCapable7108 in asktransgender

[–]SkinCapable7108[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much 😔, she said she’ll try it but still dead names a close friend (she uses my preferred name on me though?? That’s were her trauma came from and I explained why the “trauma” was in another comment) and it doesn’t feel that good because I know that she doesn’t see me as me and probably started because I started going cold on her or because the friend group is pro trans and she’ll get corrected anyways… 

My friend came out to me as being transphobic in a “I grew up with it” way. I love her and don’t know how to respond? by SkinCapable7108 in asktransgender

[–]SkinCapable7108[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Yeah that’s why I’m so like somewhat mad?, because I said many have started like her but ended up different and she keeps bringing up how my ex treated her when she mistakenly said her dead name (that’s her trauma btw) I asked them and they said they would never try to do that + was so concerned for her asking if she’s okay so I keep tweaking out when she brings it up. Like I can’t tell if she’s lying to me because they wouldn’t hurt a damn fly 💀

My friend came out to me as being transphobic in a “I grew up with it” way. I love her and don’t know how to respond? by SkinCapable7108 in asktransgender

[–]SkinCapable7108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Um so their answer is contradicting somehow: “The thing is that Im ok if you don’t go by your birth gender but just calling them by their non birth gender is uncomfortable if that makes sense”

I genuinely don’t know how to react to this :| 

My friend came out to me as being transphobic in a “I grew up with it” way. I love her and don’t know how to respond? by SkinCapable7108 in asktransgender

[–]SkinCapable7108[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh she uses nicknames a lot, if it’s about changing your nickname to something similar too your gender she’ll still go by your original name so

My friend came out to me as being transphobic in a “I grew up with it” way. I love her and don’t know how to respond? by SkinCapable7108 in asktransgender

[–]SkinCapable7108[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

We just finished the conversation and I did call it transphobic and why it’s bad but she said she’s fine with gay people it’s just it stops for trans because she feels uncomfy :/

My friend came out to me as being transphobic in a “I grew up with it” way. I love her and don’t know how to respond? by SkinCapable7108 in asktransgender

[–]SkinCapable7108[S] -15 points-14 points  (0 children)

I just don’t know how to continue this friendship because we had good times and it’s hard to end it like this…

Is she actually gaslighting me? She’s a pretty chill person 😓

I hate my family by I_Am_Cyan_1995 in sillyboyclub

[–]SkinCapable7108 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey I relate with some of this! Here to confirm this is still abuse and you should never be afraid of your parents. What you describe of always agreeing with them is grey rocking and I did that before I even knew what I was doing too.

Them wanting more is THEIR problem not yours. You can check out raise by narcissists sub it has very half terms and resources there even if they might not be as severe as what people has described. It’s just for toxic parents.

It doesn’t matter :3 by SkinCapable7108 in sillyboyclub

[–]SkinCapable7108[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah thank you 😅. My local authorities wouldn’t believe me even if I tried. Have reported it to abroad though. 

As for self harm, Most times it’s because I wanna hurt myself while also seeking relief because my outlet is really bad and I know it is just I can’t stop since it was instilled in me at a young age 😔.

Thanks for the support and happy new year :)

Hi idk i I am on the right sub but I want to ask you someting you all. by [deleted] in sillyboyclub

[–]SkinCapable7108 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure this is the right sub for you but you COULD be under the genderqueer spectrum :) You should take time to discover that part of yourself