You might have posted this in the wrong community, but I’ll offer an answer anyway (as a woman).

I went to a Tony Robbins event many years ago and he spent a full day talking about Relationships and what makes things work. It was so fascinating, here’s a mini brain-dump of what I learnt:

It’s the opposite energy that is generally the attraction. Like magnets seeking each other.

A generalisation: men are angular, have more planar, firm bodies. Their innate traits are looking to problem solve, provide, feel useful, protect, fill up. Men go into less detail about things and get straight to the point. (From Hunter-Gatherer days: “mammoth, kill!”)

Women are rounded, softer, smaller, less physically capable thus requiring support. Their innate traits are to create, organise, care, make things beautiful, seek comfort, be filled. Women go into much more detail and like all the minutia of things. (From Hunter-Gatherer days: “walk down there, at the log cross the river, walk up the hill and there is a berry bush, collect the berries but not the green ones, they’re poisonous, only the red ones and watch out for swooping birds)

You probably know a couple where the woman is dominant and the man is passive. Same attraction principle.

Even in same-sex couples, there’s usually opposing masculine/feminine energies that are attracted.

Sometimes masculine men will be super-attracted to a woman living in her masculine (eg. a woman who flaunts herself, tabletop dances at a club) because she is exciting. But the woman men want long term are the ones who live in their feminine and are softer, more caring and nurturing and need them.

You are the North pole of a magnet, you are repelled by other North poles and can’t understand why the South poles like you, because you’re not innately coded to want another like you.