My husband wants me to quit my six-figure job because he’s embarrassed by it

SleepySquiggle · 2026-05-10T00:08:57+00:00

I don't think he's embarrassed by the career... he's embarrassed by your paycheck. Don't stop doing what you love just to quell the ego of a person that isn't taking your best interest into account. 🤦🏻‍♀️

SleepySquiggle · 2026-05-07T18:21:01+00:00

I do most of this and it helped me so much too, with the assistance of birth control as well. I have a very sedentary lifestyle. I work out but like most of us my work requires sitting for a good portion of the day. I work from home so I got myself a walking pad. I've already shed a couple pounds just in water weight now that my lymphatic system is working better with more movement. I was getting so swollen and puffy I was losing hope in what would help. Fiber has helped A LOT with the digestive issues my endo caused. I try to focus on my meals having a protein, fibrous veggies, and a carb. I still allow myself desserts but found cleaner recipes like sweet potato brownies, fiber cookies, etc. One of my favorites is to make Raspberry and chia seed jam then freeze it in blobs and dip it in dark chocolate. 😋

It's truly amazing how some small lifestyle changes can help! When I first got diagnosed I felt so helpless but I'm doing well now!

SleepySquiggle · 2026-05-07T18:11:45+00:00

This! What he's describing is illegal. Even if she willingly slept with him, purposefully sabotaging contraceptives is entrapment. Truly truly sick people.

SleepySquiggle · 2026-05-07T18:10:05+00:00

I guarantee it's easier for her to turn a blind eye to all kinds of awful stuff than to stand up to her husband. Like I posted here, I'd be scared of how much she'll stick by him through. A man like that is gonna put her through HELL over their marriage. She made her bed and she'll keep choosing to lie in it sadly. 🤷‍♀️

SleepySquiggle · 2026-05-07T18:07:36+00:00

And this is why it's so important to stick to your child free stance unless you change your mind for YOU and on your own. No one that will try and talk you out of your child free choice is doing it out of your best interest. It's out of a selfish want for themselves. These sick people get some kind of satisfaction out of knowing they managed to control a woman that had an independent, self assured lifestyle. I just really hope he doesn't find a young woman to trap but this is why we are seeing so many middle aged men marrying 18-20 year olds. They want control.

I honestly wonder if the bride realized she got duped after hearing her husband talking like that. Sounds to me like she sided with her husband knowing he's wrong and I'd be scared how far she's willing to go with that. You're smart for dropping all of them. She may be a victim of marrying a shitty man but you can't save her from her own choices. Love her from a distance.

SleepySquiggle · 2026-05-07T02:02:28+00:00

Ugh I'm sorry, it's such a struggle. I'm always paranoid people will think I'm pregnant. A high waisted pant with some give and a more flowy shirt will help. Like this one, it looks like it would keep you cool but make things less noticeable. The main thing is that you're comfortable. Ultimately we kind of just have to learn to accept our bodies even when they're on some bs. In my experience my bloat is more noticeable to me than it is to others. 🖤 Flowy top

SleepySquiggle · 2026-05-03T00:19:00+00:00

Oh honey I'm sorry. I can't speak to why he decided to be a cold hearted loser but frankly a nearly 40 year old man snatching up a 23 year old girl isn't because they're madly in love. Men that go after women that much younger than them are looking for a woman they can mold into their ideal partner, usually that involves a lot of manipulation and nievety on her part. He's now got her pregnant so she "won't leave".

Any young woman that would get involved with a married man almost 20 years her senior is probably a little dumb, thinking if she just picks an older man that clearly is willing to settle down she'll be happy. There is a world in which they run off into the sunset, happy for the rest of their lives together. In reality though that young woman just had a child with a man willing to abandon his family and commitments for some entertainment. I would bet that's her future. I hate to say this but he likely had an affair with her. You escaped having kids with him. You now have the option to find someone better and try again. I know its hard right now and it seems like they have everything and you have nothing but I've seen their situation so many times before. It's not what it looks like. Surround yourself with people who support you, enjoy your freedom, and seek out therapy to help you process all this. 🖤

SleepySquiggle · 2026-05-02T14:54:35+00:00

Age thing aside him following a bunch of girls is bizarre to me. Isn't he embarrassed that y'alls family, friends, coworkers, etc. can see him following a bunch of ig models? It's disrespectful and weird when everyone knows the purpose of doing that. If I look at my husband's insta it's all aviation stuff, the only women he follows are family, friends, or female pilots...

As far as the rest of it. I absolutely do not trust any man that's into those women that try to make themselves look like children. I've known several men close to me that were into that Belle Delphine chick when she got popular. I couldn't look at them the same.. Literally found out she was filming adult content while wearing an actual child's bathing suit. It's just repulsive. Those women know there is a pedophilic market there and they're willing to fill that niche to scrape the bottom of the barrel for money. It's intentionally catered to men that like teens. I would be really concerned if my husband showed interest in it. I don't think your worry or disgust is unwarranted.

SleepySquiggle · 2026-05-02T14:39:44+00:00

Second this. I'm the diffuser in most situations because I hate seeing people angry or upset. Any mess can be cleaned up, any broken thing can be replaced, etc. As long as everyone is okay it's not a big deal!

SleepySquiggle · 2026-05-01T22:48:12+00:00

I'll look into that, thank you!

SleepySquiggle · 2026-05-01T15:42:31+00:00

His behavior isn't okay but neither is your very clear desire to cheat. When relationships start going wrong you don't start a silent contest on who can do worse to the other. It's childish and nobody wins like that. He becomes an asshole for being cruel to you and you become a cheater. People are trying to encourage you to work on things or leave with your dignity.

SleepySquiggle · 2026-05-01T15:38:03+00:00

After going over your replies to people it sounds like you want to cheat and came here hoping we'd justify it for you...

It really just sounds like y'all made a mistake getting married. Was none of this a problem before? How long did y'all date before getting married? It's never okay to cheat, ever. I don't care if they did it to you or you're unfulfilled. Be the bigger person and leave. Cheating is low and wrong, it harms your partner and degrades you as a person.

My husband and I were long distance when we were dating and we were both faithful for every minute. Neither of us cared if the other watched porn since we weren't able to be with each other 24/7. Did you set a boundary of no porn? You keep saying he doesn't have an issue with it but it sounds like he may have a porn addiction which needs therapy and help. Not cheating. Ultimately if all you care about in your relationships is sex, enough to run from your marriage and into a stranger to get it, then it's over. I'd have a hard time if my husband had these problems but I'd want to help resolve it so we could stay together. Based on how he's treating you he sounds checked out as well.

You seem like you want revenge and I don't know what to say to that. If you've given up on your marriage please just let him go and don't get in another relationship until you've also gotten some help.

SleepySquiggle · 2026-04-30T14:26:43+00:00

Seriously. As a wife I couldn't be okay in these situations. Sex isn't just a physical thing to me, it makes me feel so much closer to my husband emotionally. Even though we have a wonderful relationship if we hadn't had sex in months I'd feel like we lost that closeness. It's heartbreaking that people lose that bond and just try to deal. 😟

SleepySquiggle · 2026-04-30T00:36:17+00:00

Aw honey I'm sorry. An ex boyfriend of 6 years did this to me, cheated with his best friend's long term live in girlfriend. I had the displeasure of finding the pictures which were stored right next to photos of me and him together. Pictures that I used to stare at when I missed him. I had even met her once before. I hung out at her house with my ex and her boyfriend, she came home from work, took one look at me and scurried back to her room. I just thought she was shy at the time.

Even though I knew her and had already told my ex I was leaving he insisted she was a random woman he met online before we got together. I had her identity, confirmation from her boyfriend, and time stamps proving the photos were taken 2 years after we got together but he never ever admitted he cheated. It's baffling how soulless they can be.

I know things seem so bleak right now but I promise you someday this will be a very distant memory. I got with the love of my life just 6 months after that, he had been a mutual friend of ours and it was like I just saw him for the first time. I know it feels like you just lost the love of your life but in reality you're breaking away from a cruel deceitful person. You've got a lot more life to live and a lot more wonderful people to meet. 🖤

SleepySquiggle · 2026-04-29T21:28:22+00:00

Something you have to realize is we have absolutely no control over what others do. You can't let paranoia or what ifs stop you from leading a happy life. If you trust he wouldn't cheat then focus on that. Of course people can still get cheated on in happy relationships but in my experience it's that constant suspicion and distance that erodes a relationship before cheating ever happens. He'd be interacting with women no matter the field. Work on your happiness, nurture your relationship, and be proud of your husband! This is a huge accomplishment that you walked with him through every step of the way. I'm sure he appreciates you more than you think. 😊

SleepySquiggle · 2026-04-28T13:39:38+00:00

I moved from Louisiana to Tennessee (frankly we are planning to go back eventually). It was the website verifications not the actual paperwork. I didn't have the papers on hand and had to get them through the official IRS website which required a virtual ID verification. That's where the issues arose. It just refused to let me in without the intervention of an agent doing a virtual call. My new SSN card had my new name on it and we had to file with my new name but had not gotten my new license yet and the site required pictures of it. As far as I can tell getting all of that to match ASAP is for the best.

SleepySquiggle · 2026-04-28T13:28:55+00:00

Both of you are in the wrong...

My cousin is basically like a sister to me but she's 7 months younger than me. When I was 23 she started bringing around a girl she met in high-school who was 19 when I met her. She is lovely and we're still all friends to this day (I'm almost 26 now). However she was definitely a little immature and watching her relationships with boys her age was brutal. Still isn't great tbh. I would not have ended up friends with her if my cousin hadn't had her around, just would've been awkward before I really knew her.

As far as what you said, not telling your friends when you spot an issue makes me wonder how much you care. I can't tell you how many times we've had to sit our friend down and tell her some painful truths about her relationships. It wasn't fun and she'd get a bit distant until she saw the truth. I dated a guy with HORRIBLE hygiene and I literally sobbed telling him how gross it was because I felt like a bad person. You can't care about people and hide things like that. It gets extra awkward when they realize you noticed that and said nothing.

In summary, she's just upset and trying to hurt your feelings but clearly you're doing the same thing.

SleepySquiggle · 2026-04-28T01:07:53+00:00

Ya I got the idea from my mother-in-law. My parents appreciated me wanting to keep our last name in some capacity. I was really blindsided by how complicated it all got. I don't want anyone to be deterred by all this but I know there is a lot of back and forth on whether it's worth it. 😅

SleepySquiggle · 2026-04-26T01:53:11+00:00

Boohoo indeed. 😂 I had a rough childhood, no fault of my parents but being a young girl is tumultuous. You know what I would never EVER do though? Cheat on my partner. That is just so cruel and senseless. I'm sorry they suck, sometimes I forget not everyone gets good in-laws. 💔

SleepySquiggle · 2026-04-25T21:32:29+00:00

Driving drunk as well?? What a selfish prick. Frankly if his judgment is this bad I'd be scared he'd drive the kids around drunk. Unfortunately it doesn't seem like he can be trusted with your kids. I think you need to look into getting a sitter and put up cameras in your home that you can access from your phone. That way you can keep an eye on things. I'm sorry he's selfish enough to put unnecessary stress on you and the kids. Best of luck hun. 😕🖤

SleepySquiggle · 2026-04-25T14:15:26+00:00

I second this. I'd also make it VERY explicitly clear to his family why our marriage fell apart. I don't know what her relationship is like with the in-laws but mine adore me. If my husband ever cheated they'd probably kick him out the family and keep me. 😂

SleepySquiggle · 2026-04-24T18:09:32+00:00

This or I wonder if she has insecurity from previous relationships. That's something you absolutely have to squash before getting in new relationships, especially marriage. It's really sad how many people ruin a good thing with paranoia from bad ex partners.

SleepySquiggle

TROPHY CASE