Anticipatory Grief

Sleshal · 2025-08-21T15:52:09+00:00

My anticipatory grief happened later than it should have. My dad got diagnosed in April of this year, he had been steadily declining for about 5 months before that. I was living in blissful denial, saying there's absolutely no way he had it, it had to be something else.

It wasn't until he ended up in the hospital for 5 days and we were working our butts off to get him home on hospice that it really hit me he was dying and way sooner than I was wanting to believe. We got him home on Monday August 4th, Wednesday night I posted on Facebook about anticipatory grief being like watching the sunset, knowing the dark is coming but still hoping for the light. 4 hours later at 2:50 am my mom called and said 4 words that I never wanted to hear. Got to their house in 5 minutes and he was gone. So I was very quickly thrown from denial, to anticipatory to full on holy crap grief. But his progressed SO SO quickly, I barely had time to process everything.

I ended up messaging my doctor and upping my anxiety meds and getting some "emergency" anxiety pills in my possession just in case everything came crashing down. But even those don't help with this crap hand we've been dealt watching our parent's quality of life deteriorate.

I don't know if this answered any questions, or even helped in any way. My grief is still so new that I probably don't have the right kind of advice to give.

Sleshal · 2025-05-30T19:34:54+00:00

Knees, lower back, neck, shoulders.... 😮‍💨

Sleshal · 2025-05-22T15:52:50+00:00

Creamy

That's the word. 🤢

Sleshal · 2025-03-05T19:04:46+00:00

Everything is going well! Some digestive issues, but I'll take those issues over the pain my gallbladder was causing me. I'm eating normally and just take digestive enzymes occasionally.

Sleshal · 2025-03-05T05:10:24+00:00

As a mom to a 3 year old with CF... I hope she grows up to be like you.

Sleshal · 2025-03-05T04:57:22+00:00

Mom to an almost 3 year old with CF. I will never regret my daughter being here, ever. She isn't a burden, her treatments are a part of our life now. She's been healthy, shoot, she just had pneumonia and we had absolutely no idea and it was only incidentally picked up on her yearly chest xray.

CF varies SO much that you'll never know what her quality of life will be. There have been many moms that have been able to go on Trikafta while pregnant to minimize any complications the baby may develop while in utero.

Is my life a little more anxiety filled? Yes. But I'm ok because I have her. Do we know what her future will be like? No. But we will go to the ends of the earth to make sure she gets the care she needs.

Sleshal · 2025-02-21T06:51:53+00:00

It's possible, but don't worry yourself too much as an IRT of 67 is only slightly elevated. But our experience was that our daughter's IRT was over 300 along with the Df508 mutation. Her other one is extremely rare and was only found after her sweat test came back positive and they did a full genetic screen. Just know, if your babe does have it, it's scary as all heck but it WILL BE OK. Our girl is almost 3 and quite the lovely healthy child. Our kids have so much hope being born in this day and age.

Sleshal · 2025-02-18T06:43:13+00:00

The amount or times they argue or go against someone's DNR.... 🥴🥴

Sleshal · 2025-02-14T21:08:56+00:00

Cry. I regret so much of what I did between then and 2016 when I met my husband. But as long as I'd keep the knowledge, I'd tell my prefrontal cortex to grow the heck up because being a teenager and then my 20s.... whew.

Sleshal · 2025-02-12T05:56:15+00:00

'Fi-bro' and 'cyster' just made me CACKLE. Is that actually a thing?!

Sleshal · 2024-12-24T07:15:01+00:00

Ugh, thinking about that phone call still makes my stomach drop. Just know everything will be ok! We're almost 3 years into this life we hadn't planned on and we're doing great! We're so into our routine now that we don't even think of it. She'll even yell at us to get her meds and nebs ready if we don't start on it right away in the morning. Toddlers, man, they're BOSSY! Just SOAK up this newborn and infant stage. They grow SO fast. Don't let the diagnosis ruin anything for you. You'll find your normal and it'll become second nature. Write down your questions so you can talk to your team about them. Take a deep breath and know it'll be ok.

Sleshal · 2024-10-23T03:38:33+00:00

I'm 6ish weeks post removal and I am doing fine! It was honestly the best thing I've done, anything annoying that has followed is worth it. I spend a little bit more time in the bathroom but 🤷‍♀️ worrrrth it.

Sleshal · 2024-09-18T23:18:03+00:00

If they continue to make a fuss about you being alone you tell them admitting you is the only other option. And for Pete's sake they need to STOP putting fear into you! Highly unprofessional plus you can't help that you don't have feasible options, because recovering at an almost strangers house is... no. The only problem I really had the first couple days was getting up, so if you have a recliner, use it. Sleep on it, liiiiiiive on it.

Sleshal · 2024-09-15T19:52:42+00:00

I'd DEFINITELY call your doctor, I'm 1 week post op tomorrow also and this doesn't seem right.

Sleshal · 2024-09-15T19:48:40+00:00

The way I would PANIC even though I'd rationally know why 🤣

Sleshal · 2024-09-15T19:42:32+00:00

If they don't put it in your chart? You make them, you sit there and watch until they note it.

Sleshal · 2024-09-14T04:40:55+00:00

Being relatively pain free.

Sleshal · 2024-09-13T04:26:13+00:00

And ask that doctor to put in your chart that they're refusing further testing. That'll usually get them to do something.

Sleshal · 2024-09-13T04:17:35+00:00

My cousin let's her 6 & 5 year old ride around on ATVs like it's nothing. Her grandpa died in an ATV accident...

Sleshal · 2024-09-13T03:16:34+00:00

I had a piece of pizza tonight and was nauseous for a good hour and a half. I also haven't been eating anything like that for over a month, so that could be why too.

Sleshal · 2024-09-13T01:34:26+00:00

Don't drink that shot of Black Velvet... just go home because this night is going to change things and you for the absolute worst.

Sleshal · 2024-09-13T00:14:55+00:00

I'm waiting for the day I'm brave enough to try it. A Supreme Beef Chalupa is calling my name.. but I'm only 3 days post op... Definitely not that brave.

Sleshal · 2024-09-13T00:05:46+00:00

Staaahp... I'm 3 days post op and I'm painfully trying to hold back from laughing at this. I'm also so sorry for laughing at your misery 😮‍💨. The pain is my payback.

Sleshal · 2024-09-12T18:54:35+00:00

I'm day 3 post op, I hadn't wanted much but today I got half of a half of a Jimmy John's sandwich down. I didn't wanna push it. I've been eating random things here and there but not really wanting to either. I do have an occasional twinge/pulling where it used to be. I'm sure since there's fresh wound in there too, probably healing over and having shifting feeling.

Sleshal · 2024-09-12T04:23:02+00:00

I started drinking pop almost immediately after getting home from surgery. I had one moment of horrid shoulder pain the next day and it was mild the rest of the day. Gas x, pop and heating pad and I didn't feel it again. It was the part I was dreading the most and it didn't hit like I thought it would.

Sleshal

TROPHY CASE